Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

What kind of memories will I listen to...?
Well, I was trying to write a story, but it came out as something completely different. Here you go.

::.::.::.::.::.::

Sitting here in the cold, all by myself. It’s all I can do at times like this, it seems. Sit in the bitter cold of the snow and smile. A smile even more bitter and cold than the snow.

Sometimes when I’m all alone, I can hear memories in the falling snow. Memories have a distinct voice, if you know what to listen for. It’s hard to tell one memory from the other, because the voices are intertwined, just like sometimes it’s hard to tell who’s talking in a crowd. The easiest ones to hear are angry memories, ones of hate and loathing (there are also many other less extreme kinds, such as envy). Those memories are louder than the rest, pounding in the eardrums. Like someone is constantly screaming at you, except they are far away and you can’t tell what they’re saying. Those are the memories which you tend to remember the most of because they evoked such strong emotions. These are memories, while best not dwelled upon, are usually thought of more than others. Angry memories are the easiest way to hurt a person, but the scars are usually very small and heal over time.

The second loudest of these memories are memories of sadness. Sad memories usually have a much softer voice than angry memories, but if you listen hard enough you can hear their tears underlying the louder memories. Memories of sadness often sound like the soft, steady patter of rain on a window. The kind of rain that drips down from the sky and streaks the windows on what would otherwise be a sunny day. Like the rain, sad memories can turn an otherwise happy day into something you wish would go away. These memories are sometimes even worse than memories of anger, because while feelings of anger usually only come in momentary bursts, memories of sadness never seem to leave. There’s always one thing or another that brings back that feeling, no matter how trivial. It could be a pet that died, getting into an argument with a special person, or anything else that you wish would never have happened. Sad memories leave deeper marks than angry memories, usually in the heart or soul. And sometimes, with a memory that is too sad, too overwhelming, the damage that is done never heals. It sticks with you forever, and these memories interfere with connections between people and the bonds that they might make in the future.

The quietest of these memories are memories of happiness and love. To hear these memories amongst all the others is hard work, but when heard, they have the most beautiful sound of all. Memories of love and happiness start out only as small whispers, little secrets too delicate for the ear. Often times other memories will come crashing through the quiet, bringing with them frustration and despair. But just as the storm comes and goes, so do these memories. The trick is to hold onto the happy memories, because if one listens long enough, more and more can be heard. What starts out as a whisper grows in feeling, like a lover’s words murmured, with only you to hear them. The more and more the feeling grows, the voice of the memories grow as well. The sound of happiness is different for each person, but that is what makes it beautiful. To one person it may sound like a melody, tripping and laughing in the wind. To another, it may sound like the voice of a loved one. But no matter what the memory sounds like, the effect is the same; these memories are healing memories. They take all the memories of those rainy days and replace them with something different, with something refreshing. Many times, these memories are the most easily forgotten, but when found they are the ones that have the most impact of all.

Strange, the things one thinks of when one has the time…

::.::.::.::.::.::

~KL