school starts soon that kind of sucks, I'm used to being away from people because I went into hermet mode over summer. I don't like being around people that much though because you never know what they're thinking, they could be smiling but maybe they really hate you. Thay might introduce themselves, but maybe they felt sorry for you. Maybe they don't like you, becuase of the way you look, or the way you dress, the way you talk, maybe they just don't like you for no reason. I hate not having classes with my friends, then I'm either alone or pushed into a new lonely enviroment, in which I would most likely sit at my desk, reading book not being out going and not talking and not answering any questions, just being invisable.
I'm kind of jealous of little kids, I've been thinking about that, they are so innocent, they don't understand all the terrible stuff happening. Little kids are just happy to be alive, to have friends. They are so oblivious of everything bad happening, even death. They don';t understand it completely yet, thats why when some little kid asks what happened to grandma, after she died, the parent says something like they went on a very long vacation or something. Not only do they not understand bad things happening they don't have to worry about school, I mean school doesn't start getting anywere near challenging untill middle school, maybe 5th grade.
In elemetry school they don't have cliques, their aren't people who are shunned because of interests or looks everyone are fairly mutual friends for the most part. Of course everyone has different groups of friends, but people aren't made fun of like they do in middle school. Maybe it's because they aren't as well educated so they can't come up with very good insults, or maybe they're just too busy being kids to really care to make fun of people.
Of course their is the problam of boys (or girls depending on who it is). They have cooties or at least when kids are really little, I never thought that because I was such a tomboy. Their is no relationships no love no infatuation just friends just people you know.
I started thinking about that after reading The Catcher in the Rye. It's a very good book very interesting. When he said he wanted to be the Catcher in the Rye I know he was just fed up and wanted to get up and leave the city and the troubles from the people in it. Just watchin over little kids having fun, making sure they don't hurt themselves, or fall off the ledge. I thought it was weird that the auther chose that for the name of the book. It made sense in some weird way. What I really liked about that book was that it made me think, it made me think about the time period in which it was written and about how the main character (holden) felt about sometimes loving people but sometimes hating them, he felt disconnected and thats a little how I feel sometimes, well most of the time. Sometimes I feel like I want to be alone, but around people at the same time it's weird.
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