As none of you know...because I didn't tell anyone. I had a speech team competition today...This was one of the bigger ones too...We had about...21-22 schools there, and the largest school bringing 40 kids gonk or more...I didn't count. Well...my school is small and we only had 7 participating members who performed, me being one of them. Today I performed my Poetry (And to think that I saw it on Mulberry Street by Dr. Suess) and my D.I., dramatic interpretation (Why Rion Should Live By Sarah Barnett) I woke up at 6 a.m. and had to be at the school at 6:30 a.m. We got to the competition at around...8a.m.(? didni't pay attetnion to the time) And my first performance was at 8:30...So I got dressed in my dress clothes and set off to find my first room (which was poetry) I felt really confident about my poetry, unfortunately since it's such a childish (but such a fun-loving poem) I get negative comments on it being so childish. But today was really good. In my first round of poetry I got a 1 (the grading system is based on however many students perform in that room and it goes by that, so in my case i got a 1/8 because there were 8 students in that room) All together there were about 70 students who were performing poems today...so I was feeling really confident. Then I went to do my D.I....this one did not go over so well. I watched the girl who was there before me and her's was absolutely fantastic!! I literally started crying, it was just so moving and sad (in a good way!) Well...this made me less confident and I started out great...but once I got to the part where I had to list the reasons why he should live, I completely blanked!! gonk so I got a 4/5 in the first round...Second round came around and for my poetry I got a 3/9 and my D.I. I got another 4/5...I almost made it to finals for my poetry...But I had to have another 1 to be able to compete for it...Sadly...no one from our school even made it to finals...So I left early.
But, I have another story about the speech team thing. There's this guy from our school who I have a crush on redface and he happens to be on the speech team...unfortunately he also has a girlfriend...*sigh* he was so upset about not making it to finals...I had to hold myself back from just giving him a hug...I knew he wouldn't like that though, so I didn't. A wise(person) once said. "The worst way to miss someone, is to have them right next to you, and knowing you can't have them" well...I now know what they meant. I literally felt my heart breaking...ugh...sometimes I hate being so emotional...I love being in love...but hate not recieving love...ugh...I even started writing a story about today...once I kinda have it finished (because, knowing me, I won't finish it XD. I have about 20 storyboards laying around that I never got to finishing) But it was really romantic...and heartbreaking...I'm thinking about titling it "Unrequited Love" kinda corny I know but I thought it was fitting XD. dramallama
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My Journal, feel free to read and you just might find something about me you didn't know :3. I enjoy comments and advice on my problems or just your insight on anything.
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I'd fake blindness to touch you in appropriately ;3
My name is Kaylin, yes, adore it.
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now your competitions today, I'm glad you participated, you win right there by just doing that ,you should feel proud/happy that you took the time to participate and choose the pieces you had to perform because they meant something to you, its alright that you did not win - winning is just a little bonus/ reward, to your efforts and choices
and isn't it funny how badly you feel when your standing besides someone you like very much, and want to be with them, but know it will never will be - I think you should of gave him a hug even if it didn't matter, at least you got too - and it shows that you care, even if he may not show it, deep down he would of felt better - but its ok maybe another chance will arise its nothing to worry about, sometimes we are just to "scared" to do things because we doubt what will happen - or what the results will be, but when you get an impulse to do something - you should do it, that's how you become successful, you have to believe in yourself and abilities and remove doubt from the equation - its a hard thing to do, but once you start doing it, great things will come
and its alright to write corny love stories, because the more you focus on those things, the more will come to you, - just start focusing on the things you want, like you want to be with someone right? well start writing romantic love stories of what you want to happen to you, and believe in them, instead of writing love stories were things go bad, or cannot happen for one reason or another, because you start focusing on those things, therefore they will happen
Write yourself a story were you are deeply in love with a handsome young man - the one for you, and the things you do together , and how much you enjoy each other, and feel the feelings in the story - start to believe in them and enjoy them, and live your life haply and the things you believe in will come to you, you just have to be strong, keep your head up, believe, live - and love