During the summer, a chain of events occurred that completely bent my security, my trust, and my desires. This particular event ruptured my humanity and took away everything that I was. I made the awful mistake of falling in love.... I fell in love with someone whom I thought was decent, respectful, and would be able to return my feelings, if I just tired hard enough. However, nothing is ever as you think it is. That person whom I loved so dearly, betray me. She decided to love someone else and was just using me, but what hurts the most, is whom she feel in love with. Out of all the men in the world, she decided to fall in love with no other than my best friend Aaron (the presumed Valedictorian).
I noticed this trend in her, in wanting to be with him. I knew that Aaron had noticed it to, however, he didn't do anything to apart himself from her. I was confused, I didn't know if I should have confront her. I was just lost in my emotions.
What is peculiar about my case, is that I had told her I had feelings for her. I told her that I loved her and it was the first time I felt like this. I knew that she didn't see me as anything more than a friend, so I told her, "If you don't like me, just tell me now; that way I don't create illusions of something that can't be." However, she replied completely opposite of what I had expected. She said she had never considered me, that she needed time to think. I could have interpreted this wrong, but that wasn't a no. It sounded more like a, "I'm not sure". And like the stubborn mule that I am, I took that as a cue. I decided to romance her.
I dedicated my time completely to her. If I had school work, I would put it to the side. If I had anything to do, I would put it as a second priority--she always came first. Because she suffered from sever poverty, and was limited to many things I decided to be try to give her everything she never had. I took her out every night. We had a marvelous friendship. That's all it was, it was a friendship. I never touched her, I never wanted to. Love for me, doesn't require physical contact. All that it requires is that one be next to that special person. That's all it takes for one to be happy. Just being next to him/her and seeing that they are enjoying your company. I admit, I was in a euphoric stage.
It was a beautiful relationship until something strange began to occur. She slowly became distant, she started to drift, she had fallen in love with my best friend. For some stupid reason, I always decided to bring him along. I always wanted to him come with us, because he too was one of those secluded children that had no real friends and spent his time reading all day. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that, however, they need to experience human interaction and live their adolescent lives. Now that I think back on it, it's all my fault. I learned that anyone can fall in love with anyone else, regardless of anything.
Because I am of Cuban origin and have a slightly different culture than my other Caucasian friends, I expected integrity and loyalty. Never did it occur to me that she could betray me in such a fashion. She truly defined the words, "Poor White Trash". What kind of person would do that? Who can be so heartless? Especially after all the sacrifices I made for her. After I motivated her and picked her out of that slump that she found herself in. I lifted her up as high as making her Valedictorian of her class (she was a grade below Aaron and I).
Although more than half a year has past since this event, it has left incurable scars. I don't think I can ever forgive her for her treason. Not only did she defy the sanctity of friendship, but damaged her character and made herself seem so disgusting. After I ended my friendship with her, she slowly became more withdrawn. Aaron, as the good friend he is, never accepted Amber's love and rather chose me instead. That is something I will never forget, he was a true friend.
However, I was so damaged that I couldn't be around anyone. I didn't want to be around him, I didn't want to be around her, I didn't want to do with any of them. If they can hurt me once, they can surely do it again. But one day, I had a change of heart. I just missed my best friend of four years. One day I went to talk with him and he addressed me almost and if nothing had happened. He was respectful and polite, just as he have always been. So in the end, we reconciled.
It is now January, and as I think back on these events, I see that I have become a stronger person. Thank you Aaron for everything, especially for being a true friend, I will never forget you. Forgive me if I have every done anything to hurt you, and I hope you understand that your friendship means a lot to me. I can't believe that I was going to let some worthless person come between us. Especially, after almost four years of being best friends.
(This sounds a bit gay, but I put down what I felt. It's not that often you find people that care for you. But when you do, hold on tight to them and never let them go. For they are the ones that will help you, even during the most wretched moments of your life.)
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