Prologue
My life is an odd one, much different than yours though I go through the same thing... Well sort of... Every day.
'Hey, Jamie!' Allen said running over to me.
'Yes?' I said faking my voice... As always.
'Is it true your moving?' He asked looking at the van, ever since the incident at school my family decided to move.
'Yes... We are.' I said still faking my voice.
'Oh well... How come you stuffed a bra and came to school in a skirt?' He asked confused. I looked around for a moment and grabbed his arm before leading him away from my house a bit.
'For one... I didn't stuff the bra, and two... I'm very different than you.' I said giving off my female voice, the natural one.
'You mean... You're... A girl?!' He asked stepping back and staring at me.
'Well.. Yes... And no.' I said looking away. How am I supposed to tell him? I asked myself in my head. 'Uhm... Do you know what a hermaphrodite is?' I asked closing my eyes in case he blew up in my face about it.
'I've read about it... Never re-' He stopped mid sentence and I knew he'd explode soon. 'Oh... You are one...' He said and blinked. 'Why didn't you ever say so?' He asked and looked over at my mother who knew I told him now. 'Well Jamie, you're still my friend you know. Call if you ever wanna talk.' He said with a smile then gave me a hug and waved before walking off.
'You told him?' My mother asked walking up and placing a hand on my shoulder, then I buried my face in her shoulder. 'Oh honey...' She said wrapping me in her arms. 'I know this is hard for you... But I think you can find a way to have a normal life.' She said which pissed me off now.
'No mom! I cant ever be normal! Look at me! I'm a boy and girl! How the hell am I supposed to live a normal life?!' I yelled still very pissed. 'If I could live a normal life, I wouldn't have trouble picking which bathroom to use when I enter a new school! And I would never have to worry about if I do have sex that whoever sees my body they wont be sickened by me!' I said before storming off to the car and sat in the back seat where my father sat in the front.
'Troubles again Jamie?' He asked and I looked at him and nodded. 'Just remember you're perfect, God doesn't make s**t.' He said placing a hand on my shoulder and rubbing it.
'Dad... Am I your little girl... Or boy?' I asked curiously.
'That's up to you honey.' He said turning to my mother who got in the passenger seat of our large extended cab truck.
'I'm sorry Jamie...' She said wiping her eyes.
'No mom... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have gone off on you like that.' I said and laid down in the seat as we began to drive to the new town, again... The ninth move of my life. Since first grade every year we moved, my dad finds a new job and my mother stays at home hoping I wont do the stupid trick I always pull at the end of the year. I'm fifteen now and have fully active sex organs of both a man and woman. Yes, I'm a hermaphrodite, me and my family have trouble with the fact, sometimes we get in fights a lot and bad things happen... My friends are normal kids so I don't know what it's like to be just a boy or girl... So I improvise and pick between the two whenever we move to a new town... Then wear girlish or boyish clothes, this last town I was a guy... Now... Finally I decided to be a girl after about four years.
Chapter I
'We're here!' My mother said in a happy tone and my father nodded in agreement... I just groaned and rolled to face the back of the seat.
'I wish I could meet somebody like me...' I said softly so they wouldn't hear me. 'I hate being what I am.' Oh, now would be a great time to mention, yes, I have a past of attempted suicide, you have no idea how hard this kind of life is... I could have been a boy or girl, but no... I'm both, and it's annoying sometimes because when I get aroused easily, such as getting a male's boner or a girl's wet spot. Sorry if this is too descriptive for you, but I guess you'll have to deal with some of the details. You have no idea how horrible my life can get, because one of the times I moved I was acting like a male at the time... Forgot to wear a pad and started my period... I was wearing white, if you're a girl you'll know how bad that is... Seriously.
'Well honey, just think, this is a new start!' My mom said up in high spirits.
'Yeah, it is.' My dad stated with her. 'You can make new friends and hopefully this time we wont have to move for a while, or ever.'
'Dad... I'll never marry anyone, look at me...' I said with a groan and tried not to cry.
'Oh, just... Well, here's the house.' He said turning the wheel right, wanna know how I know while I'm laying down? Try it, feel the weight of the vehicle shift, that's kinda the opposite direction you're turning, then parked. 'Come on, pick out your room.' He said with a smile getting out. My dad is kind of a big buff guy, he lifts weights a lot. My mom is very slender, and both of them have brown hair and brown eyes... I oddly have auburn hair and blue eyes, and I'm very slender too. I have a unisex haircut and name, it's helpful so I don't have to explain why a guy has a girl's name or a girl has a guy's name.
'Nice house...' I said stepping out of the car, my pants sagged a bit with a belt going from one hip down through the opposite side of my pants belt loop, the bottom of the pants hung down over my shoes and I had a short belly type tight tank top, yes, my underwear showed but nobody complained, my parents knew what kind of person I was. Guys wear their pants low and girls wear tight shirts, see? No complaints. I wore old converse, they were out and not in my box, usually I wore normal sneakers or occasionally work boots, or skater shoes, though I cant skate. And the black jeans were torn on the backs near the foot due to they went under my shoes, and my bra-straps showed, kinky huh? I sighed and walked to the house and opened the front door with my gloved hand.
'Like it Jamie?' My mom asked me looking at my father then me.
'It's nice.' I said and let a tear run down my face before I walked into the house, I let my hips sway as I looked for a room, it felt good to let the feminine side out some. I never wear tight underwear because of well... You know. Anyway, I still walk around my house in my underwear, yes... Everybody does it now and again don't they? You cant say anything.
'Hopefully she likes it here.' I heard my dad say as he closed the front door, the furniture people had already put our stuff in the house as my dad showed them over the weekend, now all we had to do was put away our clothes. I went into the room I had picked, I know my dad said to pick a room but he's forgetful sometimes. I put my clothes away, then dropped onto my bed which had a bookcase beside it and grabbed a book I had been working on for a few days and turned on my iPod and listened to my music. After a few hours of reading I put my music and book away then changed into my nightgown and laid down to sleep. Being a girl again was nice... It was easier to hide the male side than the female. You know, only one thing about a guy to hide.
I woke up to my alarm clock, summer had passed and I was in the routine of being a girl and it was time for me to enroll in school, very annoying process but it felt nice to fill out the female bubble instead of the male one. I got my schedule and read it over and walked from one class to the next, it was that kind of day I guess. I would get away with it to because I was new to this school. After I found my way around I smiled and went to my first class, I had skipped breakfast and the first ten minutes of class to look around the place. It was very nice and I liked it... But I was going to miss everyone at my old school. When I stepped into the first hour class everyone turned to look at me and I waved my hand, the one with the schedule in it, my other hand held up my book bag. The teacher walked over and put his arm around me.
'Everyone, this is Jamie, she's new to the school and I would really appreciate it if you gave her a warm welcome.' He said patting my back and the students just waved and turned back to their work. 'I have a seat open for you, you can sit beside Tiffany.' He said pointing out the preppy girl and her friends... Great, what could go wrong now? I asked myself and sat in the seat across from her.
'Hi.' She said looking at me with bright eyes and a smile, she had the kind of haircut I wish I could have, long in the front with uneven bangs... She was a pretty girl, probably a cheerleader. 'I'm Tiffany if you didn't pick that up already.' The prep alerted me, of course I did, I wasn't stupid.
'Cool..' I said letting my shoulders relax and I stretched and yawned, I got a couple looks from guys on my way to my seat. Good thing I wear baggy clothes huh? Apparently Tiffany didn't like my good looks, though I wasn't very good looking... From my standards anyway. I couldn't take the stares so I just pulled out a bobby pin and dug under my nails, I'd grown them during the summer, and then looked at her.
'What?' I asked her and leaned forward. 'Something wrong?' I asked trying to be nice.
'No.' She said looking back at her work and I noticed it really wasn't work, just that beginning of the year crap teachers always give you so they can get to know you better. I just don't do it. 'Why are you wearing arm warmers?' She asked pointing the eraser end of her pencil at them.
'Oh... Those...' I said looking over at the two girls at our table who were now looking at me. I pulled them down revealing the scars on my arms, I always wore something, even as a guy to cover them up. 'I tried committing suicide.' I said pulling them back up.
'Why? Parents not rich or something?' She asked jokingly, which pissed me off now.
'You wouldn't want to know.' I said and just laid my head down and closed my eyes, apparently I fell asleep in class because the next thing I know is I'm waking up to the bell and other people are leaving the room, so I grab my bag off the floor and make for the door. Suddenly I hit someone and I'm on the ground, I look up and I see their shins, then look up to see the boy's face. He was cute, but... Wouldn't date him even if I wanted to, do you know how bad it would suck for him and me if he found out what I was? It would get out and everyone would beat the hell out of us both...
{[Too damn bored to continue right now...]}
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