The girl that I've known for a long time had deleted her account from Facebook. I wish I could have done something better in the past, but as always, you can only change the future, not the past.
It's not that I like her, but I just admire her. She's outgoing and happy. She probably aims for good grades for her parents, even though she says otherwise (she says she hates her parents). There are so many "If only" on my part I don't even want to write them out. This is why I'm such a... what I am now. I'm an attention seeking idiot who doesn't know when to stop. I'm jealous of other people's lives. I have so many regrets in the past, it's almost too much for me.
I guess that's why I draw so many pictures, even though I suck. I'm so modest people get annoyed at me. I don't like to be pretentious, and I'm. most of the time. not proud of my work. The only way of expressing my feelings is drawing crappy pictures that most people will say, "Aww," but there's so much more to it, so many more messages that I convey to the pixels that you see in the screen.
Overall, I regret my actions and if there's any way to take them back, I would. It sucks when you feel like crap over your own logic and thoughts. fjdskljfsklajfdkslfjl;a
I wish she'd talk to me and tell me how she feels, so the mysteries of the world is finally solved, and I don't have to hide my face wherever I go. At the same time I wish I myself have the courage to go to her and tell her how I feel. I'm stuck in the cycle of my own insecurity, and the only way out seems so dark and depressiog. I just wish someone could just guide me through all this crap I'm dealing with. Too bad there's no such thing as an angel who guides you through every rocks on the road.
 kelp134 · Mon Dec 29, 2008 @ 08:34pm · 1 Comments |
