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Well that guy iv been takling about told me that he'd been "secretly" crushing on me too... ^-^ he probably doesnt know this but i was so happy to hear that i almost started to cry...haha im such a dork... well he's with someone right now but he says he still loves me back....which is good but i dont want him to be hurt because of me so i told him to stay with his girlfriend and do nothing because... i dont want to be the reason hes unhappy....anyways we had a good time last night, we talked alot [along with some other things...*cough cough*..LOL JK] and thats when he said no matter what we wil always be friends...forever, and i was prepared for it to end just like that but he said "maybe one day we can be more" and truely i almost melted.... i blushed so much [[even though i dont think thats possible since im black but still...]] i dont know everything just feels so real with him iv only had that one time before and i ruined because i was too afraid....my heart is too delicate so i keep it locked up, closed off from anything that might be able to harm it.... but im also pushing away the people that really like/love me and thats hard but when yer like me and you make a habbit of pushing people away when they get too close even if all you want is for them to be so close you dont feel like thres space not even time between you... if u make a habit of that u cant just stop, it makes it harder for anyone to get close to you or be in yer heart, for you to open up to anybody... so i guess what im trying to say is forever, hopefully, is as good as it sounds because i cant take anymore dissappointment.....(:... oh and if yer reading this, i did dream about you last night...i told you i would...(: heart

Okay i havent got to writing about THE EPIC BATTLE yet but ill get to it as soon as i can and BTW HAPPY F"n HOLIDAYS GAIA! U ROX MY SOX!
i wont be alone for Chrismas but i might as well be on a deserted island next month...i will be all... alone... but hey hope u have a great holidays everybody! mrgreen