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Chapter 1 Javaman
As we walked down the rocky gravel road we came upon a familiar figure. He was tall, light skinned, and had an afro. Clair hated him, but he happened to be my other best friend. He was a bit eccentric and really liked adventure. He also apparently had an uncle Jimmy who did about everything there is to do in this world."Hey Javaman!"I shouted while waving my hand wildly."Hey Bloo I'm back!" He responded while waving a paper in his hand. He then proceeded to hide this paper behind his back thinking I wouldn't notice it."Hey Javaman, what's that paper?" I said trying to sound inconspicous."Um...what paper?" He asked obviously nervous." C'mon tell me, we're buddies aren't we?"I asked trying to make him feel guilty for trying to keep the paper from me."Okay I'll tell you, but you have to keep it a secret. Tell absolutely no one especially that midget over there." He said wile pointing at Clair. I had completely forgotten she was there. I looked at her as if asking for permission. She looked back as if saying it was ok. I ran over to Javaman as fast as I could and he told me the greatest thing i had ever heard or so i thought at the moment."I have tickets to see Blackman!" he said trying to hold back his excitement as much as he could.
"My uncle Jimmy gave them to me, three to be exact, but I don't know who else to take. Not only that it's in two days in Stonterian which is a few hours by carriage, but about 16 hours by foot. Plus i don't even know how to get there." He was going to continue, but then Clair suddenly appeared smiling. We had forgotten she was an elf. Elves have much better hearing that humans especially when they focus it's way better. Not only that Clair loved Blackman. She smiled sheepishly and said " Javaman have I ever told you how nice and sweet and awsome you are?"
"No and you will probably never tell me I'm awsome!" Javaman said obviously irritated." Well you're probably right. I won't tell you, but i overheard something nice. I, in fact know how to get to Stonterian." she said while smiling smugly looking at her nails."Really!?! Uh.... I mean really?" Javaman said trying to hold back his excitement back as much as humanly possible."I'll take you there if you give me a ticket." she said kicking around an imaginary rock."If and if you say I'm the best!" Javaman said trying to negotiate with her."No." she replied."How 'bout you say I'm awsome?" He asked with a stern look in his eyes."No" she replied once again this time with an iron like stare."How 'bout I'm sweet?" Knowing how dim the light of his succes was."No" she replied for the third time this time crossing her arms ."I'm nice?" Javaman asked glumly." No" she replied." How about I'm okay?" Javaman asked with little determination in his tone and a frown."Um, okay you're okay." she said with a sigh."YES HAHAHA I WIN!" Javaman shouted.
This was followed by a swift kick in the family jewels. No one said anything while Javaman regained his composure which took several minutes. I wasn't surprised. She often kicked him just for fun. I actually felt sorry for him by now he might have been infertile.
After several minutes he got up and said "Okay guys get your stuff together we leave in an hour." "But what about school?" Clair asked."Screw school if we want to make it we need to leave A.S.A.P." Javaman said clearly in a rush." Umm I don't know skipping school.." she said hesitantly."C'mon it's Blackman Freaking Blackman. Besides it's just three days it's not like it's going to ruin us." "Your right," she said with a bit of skepticism."Okay meet back here in twenty minutes." Javaman said." I thought you said an hour?" I asked." Your right we have no time to waste make it ten minutes." He said while running off in the direction of his home." Crap," I exclaimed while turning to Clair who was already gone."DAMMIT!"
I thought in my head why couldn't we have an hour o get ready. I started running in the same direction as Javaman. As I was running I saw a Truant officer. Truant officers are merciless guards who go around town catching kids who ditch school and people who escape from jail. They stick mainly to cathing kids, but are licensed to do both. The man was a big buff elf. Elves are humanoids almost exactly like humans except they have pointy ears, usually shorter, and have several abilities one of which is concentrated hearing which Clair can use efficiently. The officer's uniform was all blue with one red stripe on his cap that was standard issue or atleast i think it is because they all had it. I currently had two options run past the guard hoping to be unnoticedor choose to go around through a different road risking running into another truant officer.
I said ******** it. I ran with all my might down the road. At first he looked astounded probably because he had never seen a kid run towards him while school was in. He just stood there looking at me run by. As I passed by i could've sworn he said "I like your guts kid." As I was running past him the darnest thing happened. I heard a moan coming from the building to my left. I turned and saw shadows doing adult themed stuff. Distracted as i was I kept running and tripped. My left shoe fell off. It wouldn't have been a big deal, but the sock was unfortunately red. This wouldn't have mattered at all, today was wednesday. On wednesdays truant officers are in charge of making sure student wear all blue and get paid extra for every kid they bring in not wearing all blue. At first the officer was laughing, but after a moment he realized i had a red sock. I already got caught wearing grey socks 4 times this week and it was only wednesday. Since I was a kid they gave me a break, but i couldn't get caught again. After he had stopped laughing a look came over him. The look said I'm going to kill you. He charged like a little miniature bull. I quickly picked myself up and started running without my shoe of course. I was running looking forward when i heard a thud. I turned around and the officer had tripped over my shoe! What luck I thought, but unfortunately there was no time to point and laugh I had places to be and people to meet. I was off once again this time with only one shoe.
I ran and got to the orphanage. The owner of the orphanage was a beautiful woman, but she was a slut. She had sex with a different guy in town everyday. She was running out of people to have sex with. She was always gone until three that's when kids get out of school. I had ditched before and had seen where the owner left the key. Her name by the way was Jillian Arsen. Her great-great-great grandfather was Johnny Arsen. He in fact liked to burn stuff. He's the reason why you get charged with arsen instead of burning something. Anyway she always left the key on the third stone near the pond. It was conveniently shaped like three. I picked up the stone and there it was the beautiful key. I quickly grabbed the key. I had the beautiful key in my hands. Then my luck slapped me in the face. I slipped and fell into the pond. I got out and I was wet and furious. After a few moments i realized i didn't have the key anymore. "RAWR DAMMIT ******** s**t AHHHH!" I screamed violently. "SHUT UP IM TRYING TO SLEEP!" the next door neighbor shouted." SHUT UP OLD HAG," i shouted back while giving her the finger. I looked around and scanned the area. There was a ladder by the fence. How lucky of me someone must have left it there I thought to myself. I grabbed the ladder and dragged it to the side of the building. I couldn't pick it up for it was too heavy. Dammit was the only word to go through my mind at the moment. Tehn some strange force propelled me to look towards the street. There was a vagabond passing by. Yes, I thought." Hey hobo come over here and help me and I'll give you twenty gold pieces." I shouted in his direction. The hobo turned instantly when he heard the word gold. He ran over and saw me struggling with the ladder. No words were said. He simply helped me,I gave him gold and he took off. It was a beautiful moment. We understood each other perfectly. So perfect in fact i almost shed a tear and i could tell so did that strangely buff and healthy looking hobo with raggedy clothes. I turned towards the ladder then the sky. This was no time for theatrics. There were places to go and people to see. I started to climb the ladder. If it were under any other circumstance I would not climb the ladder,but going to a Blackman concert was at stake. I climbed to the top of the ladder and realized I had no way of entering through the window. Then i realized there was one way. I jumped through the window fists first like Uberman, a super hero who can fly and is basically invincible except for his weakness to argonite. There was a loud crash followed by a thud. It broke. It actually broke i thought to myself while i picked my self up. I then realized my hands were bloody. Oh well i thought a little blood loss never hurt anybody. So I ran for the door. I grabbed the knob and when i did so my hand stung. I thought to myself a little pain never hurt anyone. Luckily my room was on the second floor. Everyone who was a trouble maker was on the second floor. She said if there was an earthquake we would be the last ones out, but when you think about it the ones on bottom would get squished if the building fell. The orphanage seemed strangely different. No time to think i thought. I got to my room, number 11. I ran in and it was clearly different for it was clean. My room was always a mess. Maybe the owner cleaned it i thought. No time to think. I opened my backpack and dumped all my supplies out on the bed. I grabbed some clothes and stuffed it into the backpack. I then changed my clothes the fastest i have ever changed in my life. I then grabbed my backpack and flew out the door down the stairs and i was going to fly out the front door, but unfortunately it was locked. I ran into it and fell back. Dazed as I was I still managed to look around and get a bat that just happened to be lying there. It stung to hold on to it so i had to make it quick. With one hit I broke the doorknob and it was no longer a problem, but my hand stung like hell. Oh well i thought a little pain never hurt anyone. I pushed the door open and I started running on the sweet mostly glass free gravel road. I ran the same direction i came in. I felt my left sock wet. It must've been the glass. I had to have stepped on it since I lost my shoe. Then I realized my whole body was moist. I had forgot to dry myself before i changed. Oh well too late now. I kept running probably one of the only things i was good at. I soon saw Javaman and Clair waiting exactly where we were supposed to meet up. " you're three minutes late," said Javaman with just a hint of anger in his voice. " Well let's get going," Clair said enthusiastically. Then she looked at me carefully and asked " what the hell happened to you?""Oh my lord you should have been there it was insane! Wait a minute you should have been there! Where were you!?" I declared."Oh my lord you should have been there it was insane! Wait a minute you should have been there! Where were you!?" I declared." At the orphanage where else." she replied." no you weren't the front door was locked and besides you should have heard the racket," I replied back angrily."Um no the door wasn't locked it was infact open. And YOU should have been there. The owner was walking around hung over and nude. You could even see her boobs jiggle." she said. As soon as that was said Javaman's eyes widened. He then asked "Where do you guys live again?""why might you ask Javaman? Is it that big boobs turn you on? Or maybe small ones?" Clair asked suspiciously."If I say big will you kick me?" Javaman asked with a scared tone."Yes" she replied."Then small ones." he replied hesitantly which was a bad mistake."You pervert!" she said disgusted. After the word pervert was said she threw a kick aimed towards Javaman's family jewels. Being naturally excellent at fighting Javaman raised his leg to deflect the attack. Clair was somehow able to redirect her kick so it was aimed for Javaman's face. Javaman was now in fight mode. He deflected the kick with ease and laughed at the power behind it. But at the time he laughed Clair noticed he was distracted and was able to another kick with her other leg toward Javaman's poor unmentionables and this time it landed. It was magnificent, kind of like watching a penguin beat up a polar bear. The almighty Javaman's legs shook. I could tell he was no longer able to stand. He fell over like a huge towering thingy. I knew the whole thing was a lie because the owner never got hang overs. She seemed to have discovered the secret to curing them. Then i thought if i wasn't at the orphanage then where in the heck had I gone? I soon realized I followed Javaman not Clair. I also recalled a time when the owner was drunk and she told me about a time when she slept with an architect years ago. She apparently stole his blueprints for a building. Then the clothes I was wearing wasn't mine and I had stole it. Oh well too late to go back now I thought to myself." So what happened?" asked Clair. "I don't wanna talk about it." I said grimly." Awww c'mon. Tell me please." she said in her sweetest voice which was in fact pretty darn sweet. It was extremely difficult to resist doing what she asked almost like licking your elbow, but I firmly replied "NO!" "Fine you jerk. Anyway let's get going. Javaman get up don't be so melodramatic." she said casually pointing north toward the north gate. Javaman was a weird fellow he hated being called melodramatic. He instantly got up and said "I am so not melodramatic." " Yes you are now let's go." Clair said very seriously. And with that we were off to the great melodious city of Stonterian.