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what i write from now on is true
i've felt like i have been someone else for so many years and now i realize that i am not who i seem to be and if any of the ppl i reli kno in reality will persue to make me a better person. but for so many years i just want to be who i want to be .........me i don't anybody correcting of my flaws i love the flaws that i have and i always will i don't listen to the comment that other ppl make about me. what i have faced is nothing nothing but a living nightmare a living nightmare that i will be stuck in no matter what i try to make it better for me and the ppl i care about.i hide the truth with crazy retarded things i do at school and at home. the truth is i fel pain,sorrow and madness for what i did. i am what i am how can i help myself stop being who i am.its me and it always will be i thought that i could tell some of my friends or cousins or even my best friend but i can't because i kno that they will never truly understand how i reli am and they never will. i like my family but sometimes i have a grudge because they get everything that the parents wanted them to have but what about me did i do something thats wrong or what i cant figure it out. i am able to protect my inner thruth for a while but i cant seem to hide it anymore. i forgive them by heart but i need someone whom i can trust even though i am very different.why? im different because i have a life thats precious to me on the inside i cant seem to do anything rite nothing i do pleases others i just hope i can see myself in the mirror but everytime i look at my self i always say to myself "no one will like me if i told them what i feel so dont tell anyone and everything will be fine" i was wrong to say that because i have feelings too. but they always get crushed at the moment i enter my daily life ppl dont kno how it feels to be me i am a person who can feel why doesnt anyone kno that.i want to find love like the other girls but i dont want to tell anyone because i cant i cant because if i do tell im a wierdo. but everyone thinks im cold and heartless i have a heart i kno i do but why cant anyone hear it am i dead i want to kno now not later but now. im trpped. theres no way out unless some one gives me thier hand but it useless no one will offer thier hand to me if they can then i can say thank you u helped me get out of my nightmare.if only ppl knew me the real me not my shell.
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