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I won't regret what made me happy at the time! That's a quote I've heard more than once. And I'd have to say that I would agree with that whole heartily!

Also, if crying shows weakness. I guess I'll show the whole freaking world just how weak I am. I'm not afraid, as long as I'm surrounded by friends and not strangers. Although, I refuse to cry around Ichigo. I did this because I want her to be happy. I don't give a ******** about myself or my feelings!

I'm not looking forward to school. Last time I got dumped during the summer. I didn't have to worry about this problem. However. As long as I don't think about it too much I'm hoping I won't start crying in the middle of class. To stop this I'll just bring a pencil and bury it into my leg to stop it. It's all good.

I don't want this pain to show. I don't people to know that I'm hurting. I'm afraid right now to be alone. I feel all alone. Like there's a hole in me. There was a part of me that was taken with her. Kind of like....there was two souls in here and now theres only one. I feel empty with only two emotions. Happiness and sadness. I'll try and show the one so people don't have to be distracted by me.

I realize that I'm writing this publicly and it's kind of contradictory, but I need a place to vent. I'd put this in private, but that makes people wonder whats in it and I don't like people wondering. I'd much rather say it all out loud. I would say more on that topic, but I'll leave it alone. That and I don't feel like hurting anyone or myself anymore. *sigh*

Anyways that shall end my emoness today.
I'm glad she's still my friend and doesn't mind me calling, but I don't know if I will...not because I dislike her or anything, but because I don't want to bother her and her new relationship.