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You ever get that feeling where you care so much about something, but then one day, it just becomes childish and overrated? I got that feeling today. It's helped me move on for good. I feel free again.

I was stuck with that ex of mine in a large auditorium. My feelings were so mixed throughout and I had nothing to do but wallow in my self destructive thoughts. Then, to make it worse, her girlfriend comes back from wherever the hell she came from, rehab, asylum, whatever. And suddenly, I just start laughing. It was quiet, I got one of the biggest grins in my life and I couldn't stop laughing to myself. I felt crazy, truly crazy, like I'd finally snapped. It felt... totally bizarre.

Then, the thoughts were gone. I felt as though a huge curse had been lifted afterwords, but they were gone. I didn't want to say anything to them anymore, didn't want to do anything to them, I just wanted to be with that one person I cared about. I told another friend of hers, (And mine, but we only talk a little) that I'd liked her. She asked me if I told her and I said no. I was gonna say I didn't know how to, I'd only done that a few times with certain people, but there she was. With my ex and her partner. And it felt good. There wasn't any awkwardness I'd received from it anyways, and me and Gabby just went outside and talked in the shade of a large tree. It was the best part of today. I'm just smiling more often now, I feel happier. It's just mind blowing that it took so long, but now I'm finally done with all of that.

The only 'bad' thing is that the ex's lover still hates me, I see it in her burning eyes. I just closed my eyes and shook it off, she doesn't bother me anymore. My ex, well who knows how she feels. She's chosen her way, and if it goes, it goes. Plus, her friend who I see every other day doesn't like me either. Like I care about all three. It's not out of hatred, it's because it's been like this everyday and today was finally something different. That 'something different', I held on to it. Now they're not my problem anymore. I feel as though I went over this before, but it makes sense now. They're going to hate me because I left them, when really they left me. And then the lies just pour out: Not having any friends, feeling depressed, wishing I was back, wishing it all never happened, it's all bull. They got friends, they got each other, they even have couples to go to. They don't need me at all. I was just 'that guy' that was always there and now that I'm not, they're goin crazy. It all makes sense, and I hadn't realized all this sense I laughed. I'm not a jerk, I'm just going my own way and their way is different. They're not used to my rules of the game, so it's over then. They don't wanna play, it seems. And all they can do is go on without me, whatever happens to them after that is totally up to them.

Meanwhile, I'm gonna be hanging around Gabby. I have a good feeling I'm really gonna like her. Nothin can stop me now, I'm gonna tell her I really like her. It's all good now, so what are we waiting for?

Say of the Day: Freedom is Bliss.