My newest profile is one out of love. I am loved, whether people express it the way I want them to or not. I can have whatever love I want. Don't stop me.
People will be really upset when they find out what my art is over. Get over it. I know the dangers I face and things like that. I know the consequesnces.
Lol. Deverauzx told me about something that happened at school and thought Axel was after her but I know it couldn't have been. I will take this opportunity to sum up his veiw of the people I know:
Magical Unicorn= doesn't like to talk or hear about her. He doesn't understand how she got a second chance so fast wheras he had to dig. He also has that confusion as do I about her. We don't understand a lot of things she does so we like to stand back. Axel warns me that she is dangerous. She might have a big breakdown soon. We can feel it, too.
Lark= calm overlooking. He doesn't really feel anything for her. She may be precious to me but he doesn't really give a twit what she does because he knows if he gets close the stupid demons would get at him. They wouldn't leave him alone and then he may be trapped. Naw, Axel like to stay away from her but doesn't mind helping me with her. When I cry, he holds me and when I worry he goes back to SFHS and sits on the arts building and contemplates the feelings that mix around there.
Tea Garden= I don't quite understand it myself but Axel really admires and looks forward to who she will be. He wants her help in making things for me but can't ever be heard. He has tried but never sucessfully. Tea Garden I think will always look right through him because she understands too well the frost of the heart and not enough of the yearning and burning.
Hanzou= touchy. Axel really doesn't like when I think back about things. He is the jealous type so he wanders and paces when I talk to him. Sometimes he even tries to distract me. Axel is really funni with Hanzou but I hate to see him like that. It is like watching a wounded dog. Axel will always be worried and hurt when it comes to Hanzou because of the intimacy we had for a while. Mostly, Axel is jealous his fingertips can't feel my warmth or drag along my skin and caress my legs. He wants to be able to fullfill that longing but cannot.
Ink Jar- Axel hates you. LMAO. If Axel could he would scare the s**t out of you. He wanted to just break your bathroom mirror then like cause your comp to crash. He doesn't like you as a person. And I know 'Well if he doesn't like me too bad' that doesn't always work. Esp. not here. You can't make him go away. ((Not that he's even there anymore, he slumpers in my heart once more. Heating and restoring his energy.)) Axel just -sigh- is so frustrated that there is more to you than what you see and act upon. He knows you are not being yourself. He hates the person you're trying to be.
Dragon= OMG. Axel loves you. He freakin wants to meet you one day and then laugh at your jokes too. Axel was really happy when you forgave and became friends again with me. It wasn't just that though, he blamed me for that whole ending. He has always liked you as a person because you remind him of me. I was once white and pure then let inside the deeper findings: there are no answers in the world, only questions but one CAN find contentment with the questions.
Vendetta= the one that doesn't ever get talked about. I never talk about Vendetta really. The only time I did was with Teej and Dev when I saw her for the first time here and then when Teej and I were drinking. -shrugs- I haven't even introduced Axel to you for the most part. He probably recalls a flicker that you were someone from HS but that's about it.
Anyone I missed?
This is my one entry I ask for NO COMMENTARY on. Please respect my wish. If you want to comment about it, talk to me or someone else. NOT HERE.
Don't tell me to be careful. Don't tell me it is getting extreme. You don't know what it's like. He isn't here. I can't see him anymore. I can't even really feel him. This entry was about how he felt the last time I knew Axel.
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world