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Never fade away...
I was drawing a picture the other day... it started out really sketchy. None of the lines were really defined, and you could barely make out the shape of the picture. But, as I continued to draw it, the sketch lines were erased, and darker, better formed lines began to take their place. Eventually, the sketch marks disappeared. There was hardly a sign that they had been there in the first place. Just the finished product.

Without those sketches, the picture wouldn't even be able to exist.

The people that you meet in your life... they fade away. They become erased when they are no longer needed, and then forgotten. It's odd, when I think of it that way. I don't really want to think about it at all.

I want to remember everyone that I meet. I want to feel everything; the love, the friendship, the sadness, the pain. As much as I might hurt right now, I don't want to stop feeling. This pain is what makes me human. It helps me to remember. To be remembered. If I don't feel, if I become numb, I can never see things the way they really are. Nobody can see things through a fog.

I hurt. I hurt all over, but I would rather be in pain than feel nothing at all. Not again. Numbness twists your mind, it skews your vision. Numbness is the result of pain, and because of that you can only see the things that hurt you. It's all you remember. And sooner or later, you learn to hate what you think you see. Or, like me, you forget how to talk. You forget how to voice yourself, because you are too caught up in not caring. Always feeling insuperior, always wondering if they are talking about you behind your back, but not caring about any of it because it seems to feel so much better that way. That is what makes people fade away. Feel the pain, the hurt, the joy, the love. It makes life more complicated, but without that you cannot truly live. Don't be afraid to take the tears and let them out. The mask that protects you now is only going to wind up glued to your face, and you'll never be able to take it off when you want to. I was lucky enough to be spared that. Otherwise, I wouldn't be writing this right now.

I'd like to thank the person who made me feel this way. Who removed my mask when even my best friends couldn't.

But he's too caught up in the numbness, ironically enough.

I won't let those sketch marks fade away. I will cling to every last feeling, to every last memory.

Because even when the sketches are erased, the indent is still there on the paper.