Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Somehow alot of things changed within like the past 2 days. Somehow.

Goddamn me and my forgiving nature... always getting me into trouble...

Today was a good day. A really good day.

It makes me want to ... not even go through what I had originally planned for tomorrow.

But why would I feel that way?

I would of never felt that way before.

I shouldn't feel that way. Not after everything. Not when I know more things are just bound to happen...

... which is why I can't try. I want to give in so badly, but I absolutely can't. Not under any circumstances. Because I'll be hurt again.

I'm sorry I kind of ditched you Gab. I know things are hard for you right now, which is why I feel selfish I picked today to treat myself, but... can't you understand? I know what you said to me was right. It's bound to prove itself in the end. I don't know why I hope it would turn out otherwise.

I'm not going to sacrifice this anymore for something so breakable.

So ... I hope I can let myself be happy with what I got.

Why am I listening to Last Regrets while I write this?

That was always our song... It's still my favourite. It'll never be replaced in my heart for that reason. So I have no idea why I'm listening to it while I write about someone else...

But why am I hoping that for some reason, you really won't come tomorrow? Just so I can...

No, no, I don't feel that way.. surely not... It's just my feelings tricking me. It's just a shallow desire. It doesn't mean anything beyond that.

I have to be strong, for my own sake, and for him too.

Because... it can't be that way anyways.