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Razorblade
By: Meaghan Gardner
Landon was sixteen. He wore around his neck a chain, with a razorblade dangling off of it. He wore this everyday. This blade held the stains of his blood, and his memories. This blade was not the only reason for the scars beneath his hands. There was more to why they were there.
Landon never had any friends. Everyone at his school hated him for being gay. He was always put down, picked on, and beaten. His mom had died when he was seven. He had never known his father so he lived with his stepfather, Dan, who hated him more than anyone. There was no one for Landon. He was helpless and alone.
In his mind, his life worsened everyday. Sometimes this bothered him more than usual. He would sit in his closet and cry. He would scream in agony and pain as he sliced his wrist with the blade. No one cared. No one would come to see why he was so upset. That only made the pain worse.
The only reason Landon kept himself alive was because he had always hoped to find a friend. But that small ember of hope soon subsided. He knew at this place, in this world, there would be no one for him. Until that one day, that ember burned again.
Landon was in his bedroom listening to music when Dan barged in, dumping boxes in the room.
“Pack up. We’re moving.” He growled as he glared at Landon.
“Uhm… where?” Landon asked innocently.
“To a different place! Hence, ‘moving’.” Dan snapped.
Landon looked away and started to throw random things in the boxes, not bothering to organize them. What was the point? It’s not like he had anything of value. Nothing except his notebook of poems he had worked so hard on..
As he was throwing things in the boxes, he came across an old report card. Then it had occurred to him. He would have to start over at a new school, with all new people. For the first in a long time, he felt himself smile. Maybe there would be someone at the new school who would want to be his friend. He continued to smile as he packed.
Once everything was packed up, he took his poem notebook and sat in the car, waiting for Dan. He looked in the rear view mirror to see what his smile looked like. He thought it was sort of cute.. It was a little crooked, and he had a dimple in his left cheek. His jade green eyes pierced through the screen of silk black hair in front of them. His skin was very pale from being inside all the time, but it made his eyes and hair stick out more.
“What’s with the freakin’ dimple?” Dan barked, climbing into the car.
Landon frowned and looked down to his notebook on his lap. “What dimple?”
Dan gave him a nasty look and slapped him across the face. “Stop being so happy.” He ordered.
“What the f**k!” Landon brought his hand up and felt the warm liquid dripping down his cheek. “Your ring cut my cheek!”
Dan just smirked and turned the engine on. “Good. It’s what you deserve.”
“Whatever.” Landon slid over in his seat to the window, forgetting that his face was bleeding. It didn’t hurt anymore. He was used to this so much that pain had become nothing to him.
The ride to his new home was long and boring. The moving truck had been following them the whole way. Landon had absolutely no idea where they were. It was very pretty though, a wealthy neighborhood. Small trees lined each driveway. It was hard to tell the houses apart because they were all tall and beige. Even the yards looked the same with bright green grass and lawn gnomes everywhere. Landon found it kind of creepy.
Dan pulled into a driveway that looked exactly like every other one. They parked the car and got out without a word.
“Is this our new home?” Landon asked.
“No.” Dan said sarcastically. “We’re just moving here so we can leave.”
“That didn’t even make sense.” Landon said stepping away so that he wouldn’t get slapped again.
“Whatever. Your room is the only room on the 3rd floor.” Dan growled. He left Landon standing there so that he could talk to the movers.
Landon pulled his few boxes out of the car and carried them into the house. Opening the door he found himself standing before a huge living room with a golden chandelier dangling from the center of the ceiling. The walls were a beige color, just like the outside of the house. The floor was completely covered in a light green rug. To his left was a beautiful white staircase, leading to the 2nd floor. Straight ahead on the other end of the living room was a pantry with a short hallway passing through it into the kitchen.
Landon walked through it and attached to the kitchen was a beautiful dining room. Hardwood floors layered the kitchen, pantry and dining room and the walls were black. In the back of the dining room was a set of French glass doors with a view to the backyard.
He walked back through the kitchen to find the stairs again. The counter tops in the kitchen were all granite and smooth.
“This is huge.” Landon whispered to himself as he found the stairs. The stairs spiraled up to a hallway on the 2nd floor. He didn’t bother to walk down it. He just looked at it and saw that it was lined with different doors for bathrooms and bedrooms. He continued up the stairs to the 3rd floor. He came to an old wooden door with a golden doorknob. This was his room. He slowly opened the door.
It was very hot up here. His room was small and there was one window on the end that faced the backyard. He set his boxes down on the green rug and opened the window to let some air in. The ceiling slanted down a little. Landon assumed that this was an attic before the past owners turned it into a bedroom. There was a little door by the corner that was a closet. But before Landon could explore his room anymore, Dan barged in and behind him were the movers dragging pieces of his bed behind them. His bed was his only piece of furniture.
“This is your room. It’s soundproofed so that I can’t hear your loud music.” Dan walked out with the movers, slamming the door behind him.
Landon pushed his box mattress bed into the corner of the room, far away from the window. “There.” He said. He unpacked his boxes and neatly organized everything along the other side of the room.
He looked at his face in the little cracked mirror he had with him. He had dry blood all over it. Landon ran back down to the 2nd floor to find the bathroom. It was the first door on his right. It looked like the kitchen, except with a toilet and a shower instead of a stove and a fridge. He turned on the water in the sink and splashed it in his face to wash the blood off. He washed off the sweat from his forehead. It was too hot in here. The summer was very brutal. His black eyeliner smeared a little but he thought it looked cool so he just left it there. He pulled his sweater off to cool him down a little. His t-shirt was a little baggy on him because he was a little underweight. And all up his arms he could very distinctly see the scars he had from either being beaten or cutting himself.
That thought brought his attention to his blade around his neck. It shimmered in the light reflected off of the mirror. Landon sighed and tucked it under his shirt.
He went downstairs and into the backyard. It was getting late but it’s not like Dan would care. He looked around him. He could see the neighbor’s yards clearly from his own. And in the back was just a forest. It looked like a good place to hide while the movers were still setting up furniture, so Landon decided to take a walk.
It was pretty boring. All he saw were trees. Tree, tree, tree. A few more feet forward and what do you know? Another f**king tree! Landon was beginning to get bored with this. This is why he never came outside. But he decided to keep going anyways. Soon enough he came across a pond.
“Who the f**k finds a pond randomly stuck in the middle of a bunch of trees?” He asked himself out loud.
“That’s what I asked.” A voice replied. Landon jumped a little and looked down to a boy sitting on the ground by the water’s edge. The boy looked up at Landon.
He looked just like him except that his eyes were creamy brown, not green. For all Landon knew, they could be twins.
“Who are you?” Landon asked sitting next to the boy.
“I’m Jory. Who are you?” Jory looked toward the pond.
“Landon.” Landon looked toward the water also. The two of them were quiet for a long time. They were both bust admiring the pond.
It was the most beautiful place either of them had ever seen. The water was so clear that they could see all of the fish swimming by the edge. The fish would come up to the surface every once in a while to catch bugs that had fallen in from the trees above.
Jory finally broke the silence. “Why haven’t I seen you at school before?”
“Because I just moved here. Honestly, I’m hoping to make a friend here. I never had any back where I lived.” Landon ran his fingers over the scars on his arm.
“Oh well I wouldn’t expect to make any here. I don’t have any friends either. Everyone here is so homophobic. They all hate me.” Jory pulled up his sleeves and Landon saw that he had scars too. He had thought he was the only one who had gone through such pain.
“Well if it makes you feel any better, I’m not into girls either.” he admitted. Jory smiled at that and giggled a little.
“So I guess now there’s two of us.” Jory kept smiling.
Landon thought his smile was pretty. Jory’s lips pulled up around the edges flashing off his white teeth. It made Landon smile a little and he could tell his little dimple was there again. “I’ll be your friend, if you’ll be mine.”
“Fer sure I’ll be your friend.” Jory looked at him with a bigger smile this time. His eyes flickered down to the book in Landon’s lap. “What’s that?”
“Oh.” Landon handed him the book. “I write a lot. These are my poems.”
Jory took the book and spent a few minutes carefully reading each poem. “These are great.” he finally said. “They’re amazing.”
Landon suddenly felt this warm, sparkly feeling overcome him. He had never been complimented like that before, and he had never felt so truly happy.
Without thinking he leaned over and kissed Jory softly on the lips. Jory giggled and when Landon had realized what he had just done he blushed. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” Jory smiled. “I’ve never been happier in my life.”
“Neither have I.” Landon admitted. “come home with me?”
“Sure.” Jory was a little shocked at Landon’s question but also glad he asked it. “My parents won’t even notice I’m gone.”
Landon stood up and Jory followed as he lead the way back to the new house. “my step-dad should be sleeping. And my room is sound proof, so we can go up there.” Landon was super excited that he had actually made a friend, maybe more than a friend.
Luckily they both managed to make it up to Landon’s room without waking Dan. “You have a nice room.” Jory commented kneeling on the floor by the window. “It’s good you have it sound-proofed.”
“Yah. “ Landon stood in front of Jory looking down at him.
Jory wrapped both of his hands around Landon’s studded belt buckle and looked down at the ground.
Landon brought his hand up to the chain around his neck and pulled off the razor, throwing it out the window. This happy feeling was better than anything he had ever imagined, and he didn’t want anything that would remind him of any other feeling.
He smiled and held up Jory’s face gently with one hand. Jory looked into his eyes and smiled.
“I like your dimple.” Jory giggled.
“I like you.” Landon leaned down and kissed him while Jory’s hands began to undo Landon’s belt. >The End<