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Past’s Regrets

“As I said, it was my fault, I left her alone. Ever since she was born she was abused and neglected. Mother and father hated her, they wanted to kill her when she was born. The only reason she survived was because they were afraid. Afraid of the consequences or simply of her I do not know. I was the only one who cared for her. It was not my love, or at least not at first. It was my pity, and my inability to see pain. Every day I saw her cry, there was never a time I didn’t see tears streaming down her face. Of those blood shot eyes and pitiful innocence that every child possesses. And since I cared for her she clung to me. Clung to me like my shadow. For the first time it was no longer sadness that was imprinted on her face, For the first time I saw this child smile. As time went on it wasn’t pity that compelled me. It was love. I did not care that she was always there. I promised to be with her always. When she was seven years old I figured out what had frightened and possessed the rest of my family. Sometime, late one evening when everyone was asleep I received a call from my friend Pierce. His girlfriend Laura had been in a car accident. He was at the hospital in need of company and council. I left without waking anyone and arriving at the hospital to find him a mess. After a few hours Pierce had calmed down and was sleeping soundly in the hospital room with Laura. I headed home as fast as I could, hoping no one had noticed my absence. I was… too late. As I walked up the steps and approached the door I heard a small splash. I looked down and saw that I was standing a pool of blood. The blood seeped under the door. I continued my advance into the house. Everyone was dead. They were all dead. Blood everywhere, blood seeping under doors, blood dripping down the stairs, emitting the terrible stench of rotting flesh. I stumbled farther into the house, everything going blurry as I breathed in the hellish scent. I then heard a faint noise, it sounded almost like someone talking. My first thought was that of fleeing, but the hope that someone was alive overwhelmed my fear. I slowly walked up the stairs, going around the lifeless corpse of my older sister. The voice seemed to come from my room. I entered apprehensively, my eyes darting from left and right. My attention seemed to be drawn to one corner of the room where the voice seemed to come from. The voice was quiet and almost delicate, yet made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

“I’m really sad that no one will go near me. They all seem to hate me. But I have you, so I don’t mind. It’s not that bad as long as you’re here.”

The figure the voice belonged to was small and was hunched over, kneeling in an expanding pool of blood. I moved closer to the figure, feeling dread and pity for the person. As he drew closer the figure looked up at him with tears streaming down her face. Yet a huge smile was visible, imprinted on the small child’s delicate face. She didn’t seem to register his presence as she continued to converse.

“Are you mad at me?! Please! Please don’t be angry! Don’t leave me! You promised! You promised not to leave me! Don’t leave me!” She pleaded as she slumped to the ground.

“Don’t be sad.” Answered a casual voice. “They are gone now. He won’t be gone again. Look up.” Continued the casual voice.

The girl looked up, tears still falling. A hopeful gleam in her soulless eyes appearing. She got unsteadily to her feet, stumbling towards me. I tried to back away, I tried to push her away, I tried to escape, but how could I leave this child. She leapt at me, wrapping her arms around me in a tight embrace.

“Brother! Brother!” She said happily as she buried her face in his shirt. “They’re gone. They’re gone. You’ll be here with me forever!” She stepped back a bit and stared up at me and smiled.

“Yes. You shall be here forever and ever. If you ever leave me again I will kill her.” Said the casual voice. This voice, this voice is the one that still haunts me. The voice that possessed my sister possessed me. In that moment I could hear the voice as though it came from inside my head. My sister’s body went limp, still clinging to me like I was her life line. “If you ever do this to me again I will kill you and her. I could not stand it. When she woke up tonight from a nightmare and went looking for you she became mentally unstable and lost it. Then I had to wake up. You wake me up again and I will bring you more than hell. Take the deaths of your family as a warning. Good bye…”

As the voice silenced I felt extremely weak, as though that thing was my life and it was now gone. I crumpled to my knees, my eyes blank, almost as though I was blind. When I could see I was on one knee, my sister leaning on me asleep. And so, to this day I have kept my new promise in the hope that no one will die because of me, but despite that… nothing that I did changed the fact that I would continue to be the cause of so much sadness. That seemingly innocent act had set me in a crash course to a torrent of pain. And even if I did know, would I have believed it?”