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Why is it everytime a non-believer discovers that someone in a conversation is a believer they say "You wouldn't like me then?" It's like a religious cliche convo opener!
And it opens the passive defense assurance "My religion is nice! I'm nice! I love everybody!"
Following to the aggressive defence of the other: "I'm (enter something here)." Like the religion isn't so nice that it would accept or love this person. And they keep building it up: "Oh, you can't love me because... So you regulate me to eternal damnation, right? C'mon, I dare ya."
And the passive defence: "No! I don't damn you! I'm not God! God decides that, but-"
"So, God damns me?"
"No! I'm sure you're a good person!"
And then it goes into how misunderstood the non-believer is because of the non-belief. All poor me, people are mad at me because I'm doing wrong/don't fit in their pigeonhole/I'm not like them/etc. Make themselves the victims and relish in it. Enjoy the sympathy and pats they are getting because of it.
Then the passive response is to side with the non-beleiver in the conversation, even if they are totally against God. The rest of the conversation continues in mundane non-religious conversation about the stupidest things with the believer in fear of the convo turning religious and putting them on defense again, and the non-beleiver feeling justified because they've seen another beleiver prove spineless and justify the non-beleiver's already mentally justified ideas.
I hate that. I do. But winning the convo is like walking a tightrope. The words and responses from the believer have to be exact. And sometimes the convo has to be dropped like a hot rock.
Believers were not sent out to convert, but to plant seeds in people's minds and nuture where they could. In the end, at the bottom line, in reality, all things are God's.