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I give anyone that wants to go beyond this opening fair warning ahead of time, so when we get to the end of this journey there can be no saying that there was not a sign posted that warned that here there be monsters.
In the interest of full disclosure, I answered every one of the questions I was sent (but for three- and one of them was not really a question at all, but I will explain that shortly) as truthfully as possible, including the ones I collected from the original entry and the PMs I was able to salvage. During my time away I once more went over 100% in my inbox so there might have been more PMs than I gathered lost; I had a bunch saved already in a Notepad but I know for a fact I went over, so there might have been some questions lost that were meant for this entry. If I missed your PM in response to this journal entry I am very sorry; I am sorry if I have missed your PM, period, but I just wanted to let you know what happened just in case you were looking in particular for your post and did not find it here. If I did indeed miss anything than please feel free to PM your question(s) again and I will either make another entry for what I missed or add what I missed onto the next entry I do.
There's a lot of full disclosure here. To say I was not expecting so many replies is a complete understatement...there was volume and substance that I flat-out was not expecting. I thought at most I might have four or five questions to answer. Not only was there much more than that to answer but the questions themselves were in essence much more than I had expected.
Again, I repeat: There is a lot of full disclosure at work beyond the cut.
I went into this with the goal of answering anything that was tossed at me, to give people a chance- if they so wanted- to ask me whatever was on their minds and some of you stepped right up to the bat. Beautifully, might I add. When I say there were some questions that I did not respond to I did not mean to imply there was anything wrong with what I was asked, it is just that out of the three things I did not answer here, one was a PMed question that was provoked by the entry and the person requested I answer them directly instead of in here, one had nothing to do with anything at all, and the other has been answered past the point of where even my repeating myself gets too redundant...even for me. And for anyone that knows how I can chatter on, that should say a lot.
So to sum this up and get on with the show...lots of questions, lots of answers, and so much full disclosure that I am left damned near dizzy from having not expected at all 99.9% of this entry.
As I said before, I wanted to get that out of the way, to let anyone that was curious know.
Here there be monsters.
<span id="test22287245">. . .</span><br/><div id="post22287245" style="display:none; margin-right:75px;">
Count Nanu What is the first rule of the club of which we do not speak? How many toes does candle have? Why are you so damned pretty? How come I can't reach the moon even though I clearly see my hand around it. What's a ban-hammer? Why does a rainbow have a flavor? What dreams may come what may; right? Where'd you get the idea for "Memento Mori"? Your presidential pick for 2008? Would you rather be locked in a room with a kitty, or locked in a room with me? If I swallow this battery, what the hell was I thinking? Nani? What's your favoritest song that isn't english or german? What would happen if I came over, installed a doorbell, walked back outside, and rang it?
I can not say because we are not supposed to talk about it.
Candle says to let you know that she has enough toes and that she still remembers the time you took a picture of her leg hanging off the top of the desk. While she was asleep beside me once I counted them and she has four little perfect toes, her pads a cute pink color. She is so fluffy and sweet. I woke her up cooing over them; she has yet to forgive me for this display. I made quiet a scene over it, as I am sure you can imagine.
As for the question about me being pretty, I was not aware that I am but the question was pretty damned sweet (if you will forgive me firing that back to you like that xD). I shan't answer your question with a question, but I am tempted to quote back a certain line from a certain movie we went to see; said movie having what I think is the perfect answer to that question. Other then that, I will take your word for it because I think you would know better then anyone what is pretty and what is not.
I think the moon is just an optical illusion; it is there to make us think it's there...or, because that sounded a lot like Hatter talking, I really dig the idea of theoretical physics that says that it is there only because so many people believes that it is there. The reason why you can not reach up and get it is because it's not really there.
Meet the Ban Hammer. Serious Business.
A rainbow has a flavor so that there could be lewd jokes made about Rainbow Brite.
Damn right, my Christian. (And as I typed that out I realized that in the book his name was Chris. Chris...Christian. Wow. @.@ Just...wow. Not to mention the connection back to the whole Star Wars thing.
...Wow. Mind ********.)
I took Latin in high school mainly because of that phrase. It means roughly "reminder of death" or "memory of death", depending on how you want to use it and translate it; at the time I fell so hard for the phrase back when I was around eight years old because I took it to mean that you can not ever really truly live until you realize that you will one day die. For me, death means freedom because if you realize that your time here is limited, you will make more of it then if you think of this time as something to waste. Your time here is finite; death is just the next step in the adventure, but why sit around doing nothing while there is so much to do? Knowing you will not be here forever should motivate you to do what you want with your life, instead of wasting it away; also I have always been morbid in certain respects, death being something I have obsessed over since I was even younger then when I first found the phrase in a book. Death has been all around me so I have grown a little too comfortable with it; I forget that it does not mean the same to others that it means to me. To me, the memory of it at such times was more like a call to arms then a reason to fear anything. I guess it seemed like a challenge, and by golly, I love a challenge.
The older I got the more this all sunk in, as well as the fact that death means the end on so many levels. If you understand that you can lose people that you love at any given moment with no warning then you will love them all the more and cherish every moment you have with them. The saddest thing is wasted time; I find it so sad that people believe that it is just sitting there, waiting to be wasted. It is people like that whose wake-up calls are the harshest; then again, some people just do not learn the easy way. I speak from experience.
The phrase itself has been with me for a long, long while and then when the group of us got together and did the Horsemen story it just got more life and reason braided into it- Death. Memory of Death. Reminder of Death. The Horseman Death- I think you can see where I was going with it at that point in my life. Everywhere there were reminders of Death, now on a completely new level. At the time when I named the journal here on Gaia "Memento Mori" I was going for the Horsemen meaning of it in my life. That story gripped me tight. I have yet to let go of it or have it let go of me. Those four are so real to me that I can close my eyes and imagine that they are gathered together, standing behind my chair and taking turns- or not, as they each are who they are- telling me what happens next with their story. And on very lucky days, I can step into Flare's mind and see it, experience it. To Flare, the phrase means much, much more; what to me is just a memory is her entire existence, on all levels. The memory remains, even though she would do anything to just let it go. Let it all go. Things can never be again what they were then- there's so much meaning to that story that parallels the "real" world that years later it still haunts me.
I know that was a big bunch of text and I hope that answered your question; I tried to keep it as short and sweet as possible but I still managed to make it too big without putting it the main important point. I do that with the big things, though. It's so hard to find the right words and just get it all out without having to circle around and around...and frankly, the fact that you asked (that you asked anything at all, really) kinda took me back. Was not expecting you to have even ever taken notice of the title of the journal, let alone actually wonder what it meant to me. Again, you shock me, Tall One. But as I am sure you will point out, you are good at that. You are very good at that.
My presidential pick for 2008 is Lewis ******** Black. I love that man...but his blood pressure just could not take it and I know damn well the American public would not. McCain kinda amuses me. Anyone with anger issues as major as his will just be fun as hell to watch have a melt-down. The fact he has been known to drop F-bombs with blatant disregard to who hears him and records it just makes me giggle with utter delight. The idea of the speeches he will make just makes me wriggle about in my seat like a kid who knows they are about to be let run amok in a candy factory. I know he won't be good for America- neither of them will be because the president really is just a fancy title with no real power- but between him and Obama, I would rather watch McCain and the spectacles he's gonna make.
Though his very recent dropping the ball about reinstating the draft really, really, really has me re-considering which of the two would get my vote, if I had no knowledge of the electoral college.
That's my more serious pick. My less serious pick is Hatter.
Come on.
She already has her slogan and it's "You would be mad not to vote for Hatter...because anything else is just not a loop." Among her plans are Crayolas for all and a week-long holiday to celebrate shoe strings. And just to let you know...the slogan made a lot less sense before I helped her; I bribed her to make it seem more logical, and we won't even get into the fit that was had at the word "logical". That word is complete antithesis to that one.
Hmmm...I think that the question after the one about my presidential pick is a trick question, since you ARE a kitty. ninja
I think if you swallow that battery you were making an innuendo about you being a sex toy...or I could possibly be over-analyzing what you might be thinking. Or it could be the fact I have been around Hatter too much today. She suggested that you put it up your nose instead. I was not going to let you know that, but she promised to go and take a nap if I told you to do that, instead. 3nodding So now you know. And knowing, according to G.I. Joe, is half the battle.
...O.O Nani. Baka! >.< Nani...Datebayo?
(Edit as of 11:17 PM on September 7, 2008: Bunkai!)
At the moment, this is my favorite song that is not English or German. It's Swedish; my neighbors, I am sure, hate it. I was really not expecting a question like that...and I find it far more odd than I shall get into that you of all people would ask. I guess it's Zelda again. I love this song so much. It is so addictive and I adore the words. I keep thinking of the AMVs of a certain couple to this song. I did not really dig any of her other stuff; that only makes this song all the more beloved to me, though. There's only one song that I love more then that song that is neither English or German; in fact, between the two, this next one wins out. I want this song so badly. >.< I am so addicted to this song I will just leave it at "Flare loves this song". It is in my top five beloved songs of all time, period.
I never thought I would find a man in a kimono sexy. >.< But I digress.
As for what would happen if you were to do that...It's cute that you assume you would get back outside to rang the doorbell. *SNRK*
I was very pleased and more then a little shocked that you asked me such things...or anything at all for that matter. xD I appreciate the fact you took your time to leave me some questions. I hope I did not prattle on too much...but I really wanted to actually answer them since you were sweet enough to leave them.
Why, are you taking requests?
Yes, undeniably, and only getting worse.
When I Say Duck, I'm Not Talking About A Bird What's a wjidijit and why did you throw one at me?
The question is the answer, young grasshoppa.
Santa's Skipping Your House This Year I bet you think you are really funny, huh?
That or there's something on my face that I do not know about.
You are asking for all the wrong reasons because I am not ever going to tell you where I keep my candy stash.
Scarlet Why are you so ******** up?
Madness, my dear, is all in the eyes of the beholder.
The other best answer I have is because there is a cog loose in my clockwork.
Jolly Holly What's your theme song-of-the-moment, since you seem to be a mood-based creature?
For the moment it is either Spineshank, "New Disease" or "I'm Alive" by Disturbed...because I am alive. With a new disease.
I Would Like To Fight Jesus
This, too, shall pass.
Can't Have Shatner Without Shat What's your favorite Korn song?
Oh, man. @.@ That's like asking a great mother what her favorite child is. @.@ I could go from one album to the next and tell you what my favorite is off each CD...But I will take a pained jump at this and say right now I am going back and forth between "b***h, We Got A Problem" and "Counting On Me". Bear in mind this changes with my mood, because there are so many of their songs that are my favorites...but right now, at this very moment as I type this entry, it is between those two.
Dew Mountain Why in the ******** did you do that?
...Because I could. And I do what I want!
Sinister Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Published, a bit more sane, and better able to take care of those I care for. Also, by then I hope to have at least my desk straightened up. ^.^
Hearts & Bloodsplatters Why are you not on AIM anymore?
For the same reason I am hardly on Gaia anymore and have fallen behind on all matters of things, both great and small.
Jack B. Quick What does Flare want to be when she grows up?
Cohesive.
Ol' Scratch Wants To Know What You Did With His Horns Will you fill this out for your journal-thinger? Someone posted it in their journal on here once and I did it, thought you might want to do it, too. Since you're the sweetest b***h I know and it seemed like it would be your thing. twisted
Seven Deadly Sins Quiz
(For this quiz, the seven deadly sins are as explained below.)
Pride is the excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.
Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.
Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.
Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.
Wrath is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Anger.
Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness.
Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.
WRATH
1. Who did you last get angry with? (And don't say something like "humanity", either, missy. That's wussing out. I wanta read some bitching! I know you can rant...now rant, damn you!)
2. What is your weapon of choice?
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
4. How about of the same sex?
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
6. What is your pet peeve?
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time?
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?
4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the really long ones)?
6. When was the last time you got in a good workout?
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
2. Meat eater?
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought "LUNCH"?
LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family?)
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?
4. Have you "done it"?
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?
GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own?
2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
6. Have you ever stolen anything?
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
PRIDE
1. Whats one thing have you done that you're most proud of?
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life?
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces"?
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
4. Have you ever been cheated on?
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?
OH, FUN!
I loved filling this out. xD Thank you for thinking of me...and for the "sweetest b***h" part. ^.^ Since the quiz pleased me so there will not be any flaying your skin for the "b***h" part. heart You are welcome. twisted heart
Seriously, though...this was much fun. And for anyone wondering, this is how we talk back and forth to each other on here all the time. I really would not flay anyone...and I think being called a b***h is a damn fine compliment.
Now...on to the quiz.
WRATH
1. Who did you last get angry with? Humanity. HA! Because you told me not to! OK, OK...The last person I remember being angry with is myself. Other people really don't make me all that mad...not like the level of angry I get with myself. Oh, man. @.@ If I could turn the power of my anger back on myself, I would have exploded already.
2. What is your weapon of choice? My calm. The more I keep centered and cool, the more it pisses off whoever it is trying to dig at me. Which is funny that I answered what I did to number one; it is funny because the calm comes from that anger. So to all you would-be psych majors in the making that might be reading this- have a ball with those two answers.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? I have and I will again. When I was a Little Flare, I beat a lot of little boys up. I mean a lot. So many that I think that explains where I stand with so many guys now. My relationship with the opposite sex was warped from the get-go. There was no help for any of the ones I actually liked in any way- those were the ones I pounded the hell out of the most.
4. How about of the same sex? Yes. Act like a b***h, get hit like a b***h.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? ...Probably you for answer number one. xD No...I think the last person to get really angry at me would probably be Asai. That I know of; there's been more, I am sure. But the last person that let me know they were not happy with me was Asai; that was a long time ago.
6. What is your pet peeve? I had to think about that one long and hard because I have so many. But I think they all stem from the same thing, and that I will sum up as "emo". Whiners really, really, really make the urge to destroy the world rise in this one. They are all that is wrong with humanity.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? I am still seething over things I did as a kid; I do not forgive myself anything. But other people? I can't hold too much of a grudge when I see all the blame is mine; bottom line on a great many things is that I should know better. I know how people are. Anything they do is my fault, in the end. If I am stupid enough to put any faith in people, I get what I deserve.
SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? Actively exercised; the walking I do is completely mandatory and should not count. I don't do anymore physical exertion stuff then I have to; yoga, to me, is not exercise. It's meditation with a twist. Literally. And pain, if you do it wrong.
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? In a purely AM/PM sense, I woke up once at around 11:53 PM after crashing at around that time in the AM. Time is all relative. What's late to me won't be late to you, and vice versa.
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't? There's more people on here that I need to get in contact with then I have questions to answer in this entry. gonk To name just ONE would be obscene. And that is just on Gaia. There are so many other areas of my life that have been done like Gaia. Let's see...someone not on Gaia? To keep it simple? I guess someone blood-related.
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? I called in to work at Berkline and said I was having car trouble. xD And that's funny on so many levels! ...But it is the truth, very loosely. I do have trouble with my car. It's not real, for one.
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the really long ones)? No, I am not into TV unless it is something I specifically have to watch on a TV screen. I am lazy, but I can keep myself entertained better than that.
6. When was the last time you got in a good workout? Walking to and/or from work can be an adventure.
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? Once before I threw the phone. Only one time was all it took to turn the phone off. Does that count?
GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Most expensive stuff I drink are meh Redbulls. Oh, but they are so yummy.
2. Meat eater? More than most, less than some.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? Less then three sips of this god-awful stuff a friend "got for me" (read: got for himself) for my 21st birthday. Some kind of wine or some sour crap. It sucked. He said it was wine, I said he could have it. There were no arguments.
On a side note- Cheap bottle of something-resembling-wine: $3.89. Birthday pizza: $20.50. Watching someone get so plastered on cheap wine that they fall asleep while eating bread to calm their drunk tummy and fall out of their chair onto the floor: Priceless.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? No. I don't like that much commitment.
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? Not really. Others might; I know some people think that seeing ribs and looking like a Holocaust survivor is sexy but I like my curves, thank you muchly. I am not too big, not too little in my eyes. I don't ever want to be an Olsen. Would much rather be a Monroe.
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? Depends on the mood I am in, which also can be applied to 99.99987% of my behavior and preferences. Right at this very moment, I think salty sounds boss.
7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought "LUNCH"? Not really. Though I have had Fiddler crabs as pets and I love me some seafood. Again I must ask- does that count?
LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? Five.
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family?) One.
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? Glancing, not staring. You kinda can't help it. Sometimes your eyes just...zone.
4. Have you "done it"? Oy. No fear with the questions, huh? Yes. I have.
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? Eyes. I am a sucker for a pretty pair of eyes.
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? No, but I do know some real man-whores. I don't think it counts that they would be the ones having to pay to get laid, though.
7. Have you ever had an STD? No. xD Unless you count life, which is one all of us are carriers of.
GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? None and do not ever want one. Debit card is just fine and dandy.
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? McKay's, which is this used book store in a city near where I live that just...@.@ I want to hug that building and never let go.
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Give it to the people I love that need it. I would keep just enough to put into a trust for Candle if something happened to me; that way, I would know that someone would take care of my little fluff.
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Rich. I can't as easily buy people homes with fame. I mean, I guess I could, but let's try to keep this simple.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? I can not think of any way to bore me. That's the problem. I don't get bored. The idea of being quiet and repetitive does not at all bother me. So first you gotta think of a way to bore me. Go ahead, dare you to try. I think of times were others might be bored as mental breaks. And I need all of those I can get.
6. Have you ever stolen anything? All the time. Literally- all the time. I am stealing time right now, just by sitting here doing what I am doing.
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? 48.6 gigs worth- 8,591 files, 450 folders. Music, I love you. heart
PRIDE
1. What's one thing you have done that you're most proud of? That is a really close one- going to college or paying for and keeping my own apartment.
2. What one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of? I guess the same; probably the college part the most. I would not know.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? Write what I love to write for an actual living; actually being able to walk into a bookstore and see my work, actually be able to pick a book up with my name on the cover and know that I did that. I did it.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? Only if I think I could have gotten first but dropped the ball because I did not give it all I had to give; 'sides, as long as I am good at what I like doing, that is what matters to me. First, second...Don't really give a damn. I happen to have a healthy self-image when it comes to things like that.
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? No. Where is the fun and challenge of that?
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Yes. 3nodding Here on Gaia. The quizzes and such- like the Tsubasa ones? I just went and got the answers. Aries, pure and simple. I am short on patience.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? I worked on this entry a little. I don't think I actively hurt anyone's feelings today.
ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? This is not an item, but I want the people I know's time. I seem to be the only person I know that does not have time to be bored with the net or Gaia or my games or life in general. I do not get bored with anything, to be really technical. I am not even sure if I have ever been bored. There's no time to be bored, let alone get tired of doing something. I can not think of a time when I have ever had to stress about how to pass my time. Even as a kid I never got bored; there's too many fascinating things to do and see and experience. I can not envy the kind of mind that finds life boring or can not think of something to be entertained by; I do not think there is anything to envy when someone is that kind of person. But hours at a time to just sit and wish I had something to do? Why, yes. Thank you.
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces"? I don't really know the show. I don't watch TV. But more to the point, I like my place. It's mine. Minemineminemineminemine. Everything is right where I want it and that's where it will stay until I or Candle move it. (I think we just found my main sin- all the "mine's" just gave it away. xD)
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? I am not sure if she counts, but Flare. Oh, no QUESTION. If I had to pick a "real" person...That's the problem. I can't think of anyone I would switch with. I really dig my life and my own things. I guess if I have to pick someone...Victoria Harwood. Ten points to whomever can guess why I picked her.
4. Have you ever been cheated on? Not that I know of. And at this point, I would be happy to find out I had been. xD
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? Yeah, but who has not? I feel too short. I might not be too short...but I have always felt too short. And we won't even get into all the physical ways that I wish I were different that are not possible- like, you know...being able to manipulate light into a physical, tangible weapon. I bring that up because I would have glowing green eyes. All the time. I mean glowing.
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? The ability to be able to forgive myself. Not to be the type that blames others for everything, or the type that sees no fault in themselves...just be able to forgive myself for the things I well and truly could not have changed. I am a choice-theorist to the atom, though. Even though logically I can see things a certain way, I can't feel them a certain way, and it's the heart that feels that strain, not my mind.
Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin? My favorite or the one I roll in like mad? Those are both the same- greed. I think it really is the one they all come from; the way I see it, there's only one true sin and it is greed. Even pride is really just a kind of greed. I am hella greedy. I am the greediest person I know. It's another reason why I will never get bored. I am greedy for the time to get bored. I am greedy for more then anyone has the time to read about.
So on to the next question.
The Alchemystery Why do you put up with the assholes you put up with?
Who is an a*****e and who is not is all in the eye of the beholder; what I think of as an a*****e thing to do is not what others might think, and that one is definitely vice versa.
None of the people I deal with now are assholes, not to ME. If you mean what I think you mean by that question, then the most simple answer I can give you is that I do not. Welcome-Mat-Days are over with in Flare-Land. Those times have come and went and anyone left crying at this point over things should have thought about what they were doing when all the warning signs were put out for obvious notice.
I am the only a*****e I know and put up with; to show what a big a*****e I am, I just refuse to give up on things, refuse to let people take my happiness from me and refuse to whine and cry about things. I am a happy masochist when it comes to life- I refuse to be like the majority and break when things don't go my way. I don't scare easy.
So Number One a*****e in Flare-Land would be the mayor of it, and you are talking to her right now.
Cootie Carrier Did you do those quizzes I sent you, bish? cool heart
I did and here were the answers to the first two:
What's the Part of You That No One Sees?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatsthepartofyouthatnooneseesquiz/
The Part of You That No One Sees
You are compassionate, caring, and soothing.
You like other people to depend on you...
In fact, you don't feel right unless you are helping someone out.
Underneath it all, you feel the burden of everyone's problems.
Without your guidance, you fear that many people's worlds would fall apart.
You like to feel in charge, even if it brings you a lot of stress.
How Cluttered is Your Mind?
http://www.blogthings.com/howclutteredisyourmindquiz/
Your Mind is 98% Cluttered
Your mind is incredibly cluttered. You have so much going on in there, it's hard to think straight.
Consider talking to a therapist. It's a good idea to sort through your thoughts, if only to see which ones are worth hanging on to.
And here is the information on the third one, because the coding is all-kinds of screwed and so I just copied/pasted the relevant information:
Almost Perfect- INFP
33% Extraversion, 73% Intuition, 20% Thinking, 40% Judging
So, you want to make the world a better place? Too bad it's never gonna happen.
Of all the types, you have to be one of the hardest to find fault in. You have a selfless and caring nature. You're a good listener and someone who wants to avoid conflict. You genuinely desire to do good.
Of course, these all add up to an incredibly overpowered conscience which makes you feel guilty and responsible when anything goes wrong. Of course, it MUST be your fault EVERY TIME.
Though you're constantly on a mission to find the truth, you have no use for hard facts and logic, which is a source of great confusion for those of us with brains. Despite this, in a losing argument, you're not above spouting off inaccurate fact after fact in an effort to protect your precious values.
You're most probably a perfectionist, which in this case, is a bad thing. Any group work is destined to fail because of your incredibly high standards.
Disregard what I said before. You're just easy to find fault in as everyone else!
Luckily, you're generally very hard on yourself, meaning I don't need to waste my precious time insulting you. Instead, just find all your own faults and insult yourself.
That is so damned creepy, Cootie! gonk How does it know?! @.@ Its perfect aim in picking me apart and knowing me is spooky and frightens me. o.o
*Thinks about poking at the site with a stick* It is magic. O.O Whatfore else might this thingy know?!
I very much believe in love. And freedom. And truth. And beauty.
Font Hitler Why do you type like this?
Because I do not want to type like this. I only type like that for RPing. What can I say? I gotta be me.
Full Metal Gear Solid Alchemist What is your biggest vice?
Caffeine...because I refuse to think of my love of writing as a vice.
And certain people, most definitely. ninja heart
Asks This All The Time What is up with your villain obsession?
I happen to find honesty very, very sexy.
Have fun with that answer.
Valentine Whose the last person that told you they loved you?
Did you believe them?
You did and no, I did not...because I know damn well you love me for my pixels and not for my mind!
I know you want my Horns! But they are mine! Minemineminemine!
rofl heart
Sky Kisser What is a human behavior that you can not stand? What's a "typical" male behavior that you can not stand? What's a "typical" female behavior that you can not stand?
Ouch...you just struck the bone on that one. xD My darling, you asked for this, so please do not be offended that I am going to answer this honestly.
And that goes for anyone reading this; a disclaimer before I go any further: when I think of "male" and "female" traits I am going strictly by the idea that violence and aggression are more "male" traits and that emotions and such are more "female" traits. So if I make anyone mad with what I am going to say after this, please know I meant no harm, I am just trying to stereotype this answer as much as possible- there's no harm meant in my trying to answer this as honestly as I can from my perspective.
Having said that, a human behavior that I can not stand is this idea that someone has to be in a relationship to be "happy" or "whole" or worth anything. I call this a human behavior because I tend to see it on both sides, though I will admit that in my own circles, that kind of thought does not tend to run on the side you would think it would. I just can not see what is wrong with being able to support yourself in all ways and be independent; especially when I look around and see how miserable people are that are in relationships. This mad rush to get paired with someone just for the sake of being paired with someone only ends in disaster. There's quality and then there's quantity. I have said often which I prefer. I do not see what is so wrong with waiting for someone that is good for you instead of just latching on to anyone who will allow you to claim them. All these people I see in miserable relationships that stay there because they would rather not be alone just blow what little chunk of my mind I have left.
There are far more traits then that but I would have to put out volumes on what they are. I am just getting started with that one right there. And I only included that as a basic human trait that gets on my nerves simply because I thought it would be far better to put it as a human trait, and not classify it as male or female.
And because if I get on another of my rants about how we are letting the greed and love of and for money eat humanity alive, my head will explode.
A "typical" male behavior that gets stuck in my craw is a trait that not every guy has but enough have it that it gets annoying. If you think a relationship is a conquest, a game, something you have to "win" at then you are in the relationship for the wrong reason. A heart is not something that you should focus on "winning" or "getting" because of some primal bottom-line that is going on in your head. If all your focus spirals down to getting the girl and then you drop the ball on keeping her, then here's an ugly truth: you lost the game before you even made it onto the field. Way to be.
What's a "typical" female behavior that I can not stand? Oh. @.@ I could go on for hours but the best way of putting it plainly is that I see some girls who put up with anything to keep a guy, losing all self-respect in the process, and this is something I simply can not wrap my head around.
Some guys are not worth the effort but how can they learn any better if there's an idiot female who is sad enough to keep putting up with crap from said guy? It might be mean to say but the sad truth is that while guys might be programmed in their brains to act a certain way that does not mean any female should put up with it just for the sake of being in a relationship.
Sometimes it is better to be alone.
Again- quality over quantity.
I've never been shy about bashing the more idiot behavior in some guys...but here's something to think about for all of those that ever listened to me on this kind of tear: if I think so little about some guy's actions then imagine what I think of the pathetic females that put up with it.
There have been years where I was more vocal about guy qualities I have never been fond of but it's the women that put up with said qualities that make me grit my teeth and say not a word (and for anyone wondering, if I am talking and making noise about something then that is a good sign- a silent Flare is a Flare seriously contemplating murder and how many places will be needed to scatter the remains). There are some people that are just beyond help and someone who wants to put up with such things because they just can not stand to be alone...Well, those are the ones that have to learn the hard way. They won't know what "hot" means until they reach into the fire.
Bullet-Proof Hotdog If you could be a superhero, what would be your name and power?
...I will answer this when I stop laughing.
Fellow Stephen King Fan Ok, I has a few questions for you, though I am not sure if you will answer all of them, but would you pretty, pretty please with sprinkles on top?
Thanks to you, Miss Flare-Person! These are just some stuff I kinda always wondered about you, considering you don't talk about yourself all that much and seem to shift the conversation when I get close to certain subjects.
ninja Oh, yesh. I know your tricks, you tricky woman!
My guiltiest guilty pleasure is ...
What do I have to do ...
I want ...
I feel ...
I need ...
I hate ...
I love...
Fact is ...
I want less of ...
I can't handle ...
I miss ...
I think ...
There is no need to ...
It would be nice ...
Love is ...
Last weekend ...
Tonight ...
My love ...
I am allergic to ...
Let's go ...
I would ...
When I fall for someone ...
My hands ...
When I am alone ...
I am listening to ...
The last person I called was ...
The last IM I recieved said ...
Hugs are ...
My house ...
There is a thin line between ...
My best physical feature is ...
The last person I kissed was ...
The future ...
It's funny how ...
My favorite Dane Cook quote is ...
The best BATMAN movie is ...
I cried ...
Hospitals are ...
My shoes ...
I think porn is ...
When I was little ...
Cake ...
I can't seem to find ...
I like my jeans ...
I prefer ...
Rap music ...
I remember ...
My sibling(s) ...
I felt like the biggest a*****e ...
This one time ...
Nothing makes me smile quite like ...
Tattoos are ...
Piercings are ...
I lied because ...
My job ...
My ideal job would be ...
Movies are ...
No one ...
Thunderstorms ...
My mom...
My dad...
My ideal wedding would go a little something like this ...
Hotels ...
Throwing up ...
Target ...
Frankly my dear ...
Toilet paper ...
Sex is ...
Sex should be ...
Vampires ...
Fear is ...
Money ...
Why ...
Why not ...
Life is ...
I have become ...
I don't...
Did you know ...
All I ask is ...
If I were a sin ...
I am ...
I want more of ...
It's over when ...
My worst habit ...
I have the bruises to prove ...
Internet is ...
If I were to be crowned a Little-Miss-Something-Or-Other, I would be ...
My greatest strength is ...
My greatest fault is ...
No one will ever see me ...
Everything I know in ten words or less ...
My best non-physical feature is ...
Maybe I should ...
Nothing is ...
I don't understand ...
I lost my ...
People would say that I'm ...
Somewhere, someone is ...
I will always ...
I should be ...
but instead I'm ...
Forever is ...
I never want to ...
I think the current President is ...
When I wake up in the morning ...
Life is full of ...
Everything is ...
My past is incredibly ...
I get annoyed when ...
Parties are for ...
I wish ...
My dog is ...
My cat is ...
Kisses are the worst when ...
Kisses are the best when ...
Tomorrow I'm going to ...
I really want ...
I will no longer ...
I have low tolerance for people who ...
If I had a million dollars ...
Tomorrow I could ...
I wish I could stop ...
I am better off ...
Never wanted to ...
Fact is ...
My guiltiest guilty pleasure is Gaia; doing exactly what I am doing right now.
What do I have to do to answer this question?
I want to die in a painless manner.
I feel as if I will at any moment wake up.
I need more cowbell.
I hate people that knowingly hurt others. I also hate that I hate people that do that and wish to one day be able to grow enough that I will be able to completely separate people from their actions.
I love the brief flashes of reassurance that come out of complete nowhere: that I am doing ok and that I have not ruined everyone's life that I have come across; usually I get these when I am completely blissed out on no sleep, caffeine, and desperation but still, like Asai said once said...A little positive reinforcement is always nice.
Fact is there is nothing that you can not do.
I want less of all the bad traits that I have; mainly, the ones that let people down and harm all the good efforts trying to be made.
I can't handle the idea of what will happen any day now.
I miss something I never deserved in the first place.
I think too much and at the same time not enough.
There is no need to feel sorrow anymore; what is done is done and can not be fixed, only thing to do now is walk on and be better.
It would be nice if people could understand that what they do to one another has an actual effect; there is a ripple-effect that stems directly from every action or inaction and one harmful move reverberates around the world. What happened to the Golden Rule?
Love is a neuro-chemical brain-state.
Last weekend went by too damned fast.
Tonight might never happen.
My love has been written.
I am allergic to stupid.
Let's go all the way. What other way is there?
I would gladly die to live again.
When I fall for someone I never land right.
My hands connect me to people more then most realize.
When I am alone I am at peace.
I am listening to KoRn, Candle purring, my breathing, and the stove tick as it cooks dinner.
The last person I called was someone at Wal-Mart, a Katie or Catie or something like that. Katrina. Cassandra. Something like that. Catalina?
The last IM I received said "Pay attention to me, you never talk to me anymore! LOL!!!"
Hugs are good only when from someone you like. Flare is not a very touchy-feely person unless she likes you.
My house is my home.
There is a thin line between madness and love.
My best physical feature is the mole on the right side of my neck.
The last person I kissed was Candle.
The future will soon be a thing of the past.
It's funny how it is the little things that undo one.
My favorite Dane Cook quote is "Someone s**t on the coats."
The best BATMAN movie is so easy to name- come on, who can not love the line "See, I'm not a monster...I'm just ahead of the curve." Joker. Owns.
I cried and wish I could go the rest of my life without doing it again.
Hospitals are Death's supermarket.
My shoes are worn from the paths I take.
I think porn is funny. Sex, period, is just funny. The lengths people go to have something that they then do not respect the other person for anymore, even though they think it is the center of existence. It's hilarious.
When I was little I was a tiny hell raiser. "Here comes trouble" was my favorite t-shirt for a reason.
Cake is delicious when it is not a lie.
I can't seem to find my mind; then again, I never had one so there's no need to look for something I simply will never find.
I like my jeans comfortable.
I prefer quality over quantity.
Rap music can be good when it has the right beat and the right words for whatever mood I am in.
I remember times different then what I logically know they were.
My sibling quiet technically never lived or died.
I felt like the biggest a*****e when I killed rock and roll.
This one time I tottered on perfection and had no idea.
Nothing makes me smile quite like watching Candle play.
Tattoos are scary because of the needles. @.@ Oy, do not like pain.
Piercings are the same but also a way to baby step towards conquering a fear.
I lied because I am a p***k and like all self-righteous morons thought I was doing the right thing.
My job is day-to-day maintaining.
My ideal job would be being the author of my dreams.
Movies are a glimpse into someone's soul.
No one has a completely pure, innocent existence. Everyone has some private shame or pain. Thinking of that should help people to act better towards one another but seems to not even be a blip on some's radar.
Thunderstorms make me think that anything is possible.
My mom gave birth to me.
My dad helped by adding an important ingredient.
My ideal wedding would go a little something like this: it would have to be ideal.
Hotels are fun because there's the pool and the neat feeling that you are doing something different; I have always loved trips that dealt with staying in a hotel.
Throwing up can be the very thing you needed to do sometimes.
Target has the neat Gaia Cash Cards. xD
Frankly my dear I seriously do not give a serious ********. Seriously...Did you think I would say "damn"?
Toilet paper proves that humans can put their brains to good uses when they so choose.
Sex is funny. I think I discussed this already.
Sex should be something thought of as a gift, something to share, not the bottom-line.
Vampires are damned sexy when done right. Hellsing- yes. Anne Rice- no.
Fear is optional.
Money is not the root of all evil. Human greed is- it is what places a physical sign of "wealth" over the better good of one another's fellow beings. We let one another go hungry, die out on the street, and do without things that there is absolutely no need to do without all in the name of the all-mighty dollar. Children are going hungry and not getting the care they need simply because someone does not have money...and same goes with all the adults struggling to make ends meet and can not, no matter how hard they work. It's another of those things that before getting my shut-eye, I pray for a good dose of avian flu or a meteor to strike the planet like the angry fist of god. It would be putting it lightly to say I am a little disenfranchised with the way people do one another and the pathetic reasons they offer up as excuses for their actions.
Why does humanity as a whole crab-bucket all the damn time?
Why not help one another, be good to one another...Altruism never hurt anyone. There's no excuse for the way things are and the way they have been for years. There is no reason why humans should be doing the things they are doing to one another...and then they dare to ask why bad things happen to them. Has anyone else ever noticed that it's the people that whine the most about hard they have it that are the ones doing the most harm? The person that thinks they have it so, so hard is the one that never cares to realize that there's at least one other person that has it worse. At least. And then they try to rationalize their behavior by acting as if the world or the people around them owe them something. They are right about that one- a good swift kick up the a** is owed.
Life is no fun without a good scare.
I have become comfortable in my not being like anyone else I have ever met or likely to meet.
I don't want to add to anyone's burdens.
Did you know that I am too evil to be completely good but too good to be completely evil? I would give the money out of my pocket to keep someone from going hungry but if I was the one that got to hit the Apocalypse Button I would not hesitate to press the button. Hard. And as often as I was allowed. One apocalypse is just not enough. >.<
All I ask is to one day understand.
If I were a sin I would be Greed; there is no doubt I would be Greed.
I am a proud Aries; complete with all the faults of the sign, including the one that says I won't find faults in my faults unless I want to. Sticks and stones and all of that. I think "Aries" is just a nice umbrella word for "choice theorist".
I want more of time and more of the energy and ability to do good with my time here.
It's over when I say it is over.
My worst habit is being me.
I have the bruises to prove that I have fallen, in all possible ways.
Internet is for Gaia! (Naughty minds...did you guys think I was going to say for porn?)
If I were to be crowned a Little-Miss-Something-Or-Other, I would be Little Miss Obsessive.
My greatest strength is that I refuse to give in, give up, or stop pursuing what I care for, no matter how hard the road or battle gets. I don't know the meaning of giving up. I physically am incapable of giving up.
My greatest fault is not having the good sense to know that just because you focus your attention or will elsewhere it does not mean that you have given up. There's nothing noble in trying to help people that do not want to be helped but rather want someone to pull down with them; continuing to try to save someone like that is just a waste of time and energy...but still, one stupidly and stubbornly tries.
No one will ever see me fall from grace.
Everything I know in ten words or less is that this, too, shall pass.
My best non-physical feature is that if I love you and believe in you then heaven help trying to change my mind about it.
Maybe I should just learn to breath. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Nothing is impossible. We limit ourselves.
I don't understand why people do things that cause their lives to go into the toilet and then mourn what went wrong, acting as if they did nothing to deserve such things. Appreciate what you have. You can lose it at any given moment.
I lost my time-management skills or what passed for them so long ago I now do not believe I ever really had any.
People would say that I'm insane and they would be right.
Somewhere, someone is falling in love for the first time.
I will always remember certain moments in my life with a clarity that feels as if it will never fade.
I should be cleaning the apartment...
...but instead I'm doing this.
Forever is not long enough.
I never want to come back down.
I think the current President is sticking to his guns out of a perverse need to be proven right, no matter the costs that others pay for it.
When I wake up in the morning I will already be late for everything.
Life is full of absurd moments of beauty.
Everything is madness.
My past is incredibly interesting.
I get annoyed when people are ignorant and rude on purpose. It is one thing to be accidently rude and to not know something just because they were never taught better...but the kind of people that treat others bad on purpose and are just stupid...those kinds of people make me pray for an apocalypse.
Parties are for happy events.
I wish I could make everyone happy all the time.
My dog is only in my mind; he's not really a dog but a hellhound.
My cat is the BEST.
Kisses are the worst when they are done out of duty, obligation, or are mechanical.
Kisses are the best when they take your breath away.
Tomorrow I'm going to go to work and possibly sleep. That last part depends on if I can just keep moving and not slow down enough to let my body succumb.
I really want a time machine.
I will no longer compromise my personal happiness and peace of mind for people that only seek to take and use what little there is good about my personality. The well has dried up. Now I pray for rain.
I have low tolerance for people who willfully aim to hurt other people.
If I had a million dollars no one that I love would ever go without anything ever again.
Tomorrow I could wake up dead.
I wish I could stop obsessing over things that in the end really do not matter.
I am better off unread, unsaid, and probably dead.
Never wanted to dance with nobody but you wouldn't take no for an answer.
Fact is there's nothing out there you can't do.
You know, it is really strange that you asked that because unless you are the other person that asked me that a long time ago, you make the second person to PM me that question.
I will assume that you are not the person that asked me that before and answer you like I did them. No, I think this has to be a case of mistaken identity. I do not know who that is and don't know anyone that could be; I don't know anyone that has any account by that name or a name like that, or even a nick name for that matter. I can't even match that name with any of my RP characters (or, for that matter, anyone's RP characters I know); I have enough characters in my head but there's still no one up here *knocks on her head* that matches that name. The closest character I can think of that I have is named Celia- or Cel for short- but I just very recently started a story with her and I was asked this over a year ago before I even had that character. And I kinda doubt it is the same character anyway, if it is a character you are looking for, since the RP that is from would not be widely known. I find it odd that you are not the first to ask me if that's who I am, but I am at a loss to figure out who it is. The first person never answered me back when I said I was not this person so maybe it's just some kind of odd mix up. Maybe someone uses a name like mine for his or her account? Hell if I know.
I am sorry my answer is not more of a help...but no, I am not Ceal. xD
~
The rest of the questions and answers are continued in the next post.
~ heart </div>
 RadiantFlare · Mon Aug 18, 2008 @ 02:35am · 0 Comments |
