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i'm sorry. i'm a jackass.

i should be treated like dirt for what i did. i didn't know how hurt i accually was. not only did i just bottle everything up and try to solve every problem by myself, i snuffed off my friends, who were just trying to help me. and i needed the help, but i was just too blind to see it.

i'm not used to having a friend i can confide in. up until freshman year i only had one friend. then i ended up joining a cult called "marching band". that's when i found people i could depend on, and people to depend on me. but this time, i've let everyone down, including myself... i turned my back on the world, on my friends.

last night was the first time i've ever cried myself to sleep. i haven't cried sinse i was seven. i felt so bad about what i did, i even had an urge for a cigarette. and i don't smoke.

i said that i want to be alone. i was wrong. someone please help me, i just don't want to be alone anymore.

i relize what i've done and i hope that you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for what i have done. i am truely sorry and wish you'd accept my deepest apologies.

Matt

P.S. emi, i'm sorry i snapped.