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Quick poem. Will edit later. VENDETTAS FOR GREEN M&MS She groans at start of morning. All the M&Ms are gone, Except one green that's halfway-out of the bag. An urban-legend irony does not get proper reception when the truth is hitting you blunt-edge and turning you jaded; green vendettas written in white on spherical sugar. (Comes full circle.) :EDIT: Okay. So, I've gotten a few comments on this piece, and I want you people to notice the timestamp. This piece of st is 3 years old; I agree that it needs a lot of work, and I thank you for any advice that you have given me, but this is NOT a representative of my work now. I wrote it when I was 15, for chrissake. I'd like to think I've improved a great deal since then. If you want to see a better representative, go look for some of my work in the OP/L. I would appreciate any comments on that more recent material. heart**

Posted by: Astaire Sat Sep 25, 2004 @ 02:34am

THE IVORY QUEEN

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Amelia Sailune
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Commented on: Thu Mar 03, 2005 @ 12:49am


	Ooo... Good... I am forever jealous of your writing skills. domokun

Commented on: Tue Apr 24, 2007 @ 04:54pm


	Pretty good, but it lacks any fully digestable material. Try giving the reader a clearer view of your topic. Some may not be able to understand that you're experiencing regret (like every other emo on this forum) without just blankly reading your title. You shouldn't have to explain your poetry with a title, it should explain itself in the end. What is the use of the object M&M's? Your poem is fairly self explanatory, but the M&M's throw off the content. By the way, you'll do better not to write on depressing emo topics like everyone else on this forum that needs to get away from razor blades and live a life.

heymrdj
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Faustine Liem
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Commented on: Tue Jun 12, 2007 @ 02:45am


	Not going to be too harsh hun but that IS one of the....strangest poems i've read in a VERY long time. To me its not very good. I've seen you commenting on peoples poems quite harshly. So i'm not going to be unharsh. Personally (and don't yell at me for it) this is a terrible poem that came out of a confused writers blocked mind. If this IS a old work then I would like to see how you got better. I've done a lot of poems. I barely posted a few on Gaia. I warn you though if you want to read my poetry you better not keep saying my poems need to be happier....i hardly have any happy poems. Maybe 2 out of the hundreds i've written. Go ahead and read my journal where a few of mine are posted.

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