✿ Regret is one the darkest shadows. ❚his point of view❚
Sometimes, it is easier to bear.
Time has made life routine, mundane - I think I could go through my days half asleep and no one would know the difference. I've changed since I was younger; I can smile when I'm sad and laugh when I'm miserable. No one around me can tell that I am pretending and the only one who can is beyond my reach, ever inches from my finger tips. The saddest part of this nightmare is the knowledge that I am the one who has placed her so far from my grasp.
How many times have I wished for the courage to turn back?
How many times have I prayed, desperately, to hear her voice one more time, to feel her hand in mine and have my heart thud to life for her? But to this day, I still remember her eyes, bright and sparkling with tears, her face so confused and heart broken that my soul still cries in shame. I was the one who pushed her away. I was the one who closed myself to her words.
She is the shiest and gentlest of creatures. I knew that better than anyone. I should have known her better than anyone. Since she first spoke my name, she has been true to me, but I doubted her because I was foolish and rash.
And I am the one who wronged her. So this is my punishment.
I think I will live forever dreaming of her.
- - - -
"Don't worry! I would never do anything to hurt you! Because we're going to be married, right?"
"...Promise? You really promise? If you lie, I'll never forgive you!"
"Yeah!"
Her hand was so tiny in mine - I didn't understand it, but it was small and cool and smooth against my skin and all of a sudden my pulse was thundering in my ears. She tilted her face up at me, eyes wide and full to bursting with trust and faith, and I thought for sure that my heart would explode then. In that moment, when she clung to my hand, an oath on her lips, I was so happy I thought that perhaps she was a little angel - an angel of happiness.
Seriphe's soft smile certainly lent itself to that theory. Her smile was all it took for my day to brighten.
So I pulled her small frame towards me, tingling with the sensation of holding her within my arms. "Forever," I swore to her, "I will protect you forever. And in return, you must never leave me."
Even then, I knew that I could never live without her.
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