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MY QUOTES:

1.“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall in an open sewer and die.”

2.“I consider myself influential, as opposed to manipulative.”

3."Start the day with a smile and get it over with."

4.“There are two words I hate: Don’t and stop. Unless you use them together.” (i say it rarely)

5.“Rule #1: I'm never wrong. Ruler #2: When in doubt, refer to Rule #1.”

6.“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”

7.“I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards.”

8."Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special."

9.“I really want to love somebody. I do. I just don't know if it's possible forever and ever.”

10."See the happy moron - he doesn't give a damn. I wish I was a moron - by God! Perhaps I am!"

11.“I don't recall the so-called devilish things I do. But there are considerable amounts.”

12.“Lead me not into temptation. I can find the way myself.”

13.“Never think about the mistakes you made. Think about the mistakes you will make.”

14.“There are people I would take a bullet for and people I’d like to put a bullet in.”

15."When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So, what the hell, leap."

16.“I try to do the right thing with money. Save a dollar here and there, clip some coupons. Buy ten gold chains instead of twenty. Four summer homes instead of eight.”

17."I guess in this society, being male and an a*****e makes you worthy of our time."

18.“Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don't think of until too late.”

19.“Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.”

20.“Friendship is love without his wings.”

21.“I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.”

22.“Treat your friend as if he will one day be your enemy and your enemy as if he will one day be your friend.”

23."When in doubt, lob a second grenade."(got it from my friend crystaldragon)

24."When done reading a person`s journal entry, it`s only polite to comment."