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my thinkings of life and sometime poems in my big head and a chinese story that has gone dead..
LOVE AT THE SIGHT..BROKEN
i saw you that evening
you saw me that night
you were my candle light
brighting my day
i was your shadow
who proctected you from the dark
we meet on that hill
seeing the sunset
you were the day i was the night
to oppsites with contact
to see my friend
with you
broke my heart
i ran away
jumped off the hill
and was never seen again
you with her
might of been for the better good
i found nothing but you did
i found darkness swollow me whole
you found light at the edge of it
i felt the last light on my finger tips
and fell,fell,fell
i might of ended up in hell
but i reached for the light and it swallowed me
i had a second chance instead i pushed you off the hill with her
walked away with a frown of hatetred
unable to cry at your screams
i lived you died
i had a second chance and never took it
you had no chances and wasted the one chance you had
i feel sorry for you
and my friend...
my best friend with you..
neverless i will forget this for a while but
not forever






User Comments: [1]
jinxauthor
Community Member





Thu Sep 18, 2008 @ 03:23am


This is impressive too, but I got lost somewhere towards the end. Can I give some constructive criticsm? Try to use more specific details and stay away from vague cliches. you're already kind of doing that but you keep it up and I think your poetry is pretty sweet! xd


User Comments: [1]
 
 
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