Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

i feell soo used..everywhere i go can u do this for me or can u do that for me plzz!!!thts all i ever get,and everyone keeps reminding me that i did stuff for other ppl but ot them..i'm sry ok...i apologize to this whole world.i know me too i wish i would b able to do everythig u guys want me to but i can't i'm a person just like u i've loved and kept it to myslef,cuz i know u guys have't been havin such a great life,i don't want to dump everything on u guys.i know ur not gonna read thiscuz it's just a blog entry,nothing tht great but i wanna rite out everything cuz if i don't imma cry myslef to sleepand i'm sick and tired of doin that.i love u guys alotmore than anything in this world.... thts why i can't tell u guys wats on my mind cuz i don't want you to wrry.i want you to know tht i'm still here to listen to u and not wonder off on my on thoughts while ur talking....it's hard to explain cuz i myslef donon wats going on up in my head..i have no clue at all besides the fact tht i don't want u to wry abt me.i'll be fine. i always am at the end....it's always been liek tht and i like it liek that. cuz then it doesn't last tht long.. for example tabii.. i cried my head off for wat i dono!! i think abt it now and it was onlii cuz i told ppl abt him and tht i was always reminded abt him.. but shani i didn't tell many ppl and soon everyone forgot and so did i. i know i had lots of things planed out for this summer but nothings going to happen.... i just dreamt it all...and thts all tht it'll ever be a dream... ajnabi... cuz it'm lost in this world... i don't see the direction i'm suposed to move in. rite now i'm livin the life of many different ppl. i can feel their p[ain or happiness, thier hyperness, thier love for tht person. i can feel it all. but i can't feel wats runnning through my head.lol i know i'm hppy for faraz.. but now tht he's got somebody and he's gonna move on with his life i know he's gonna forget me... he gonna be a big brother i lost..... i don't want to loose him cuz when i talk to him i get happy. he makes me laugh even when i don't want to.. so does farheen, and faiza, and saniyah, and sarah and many ppl. i love them alot but none of them have felt liek an older brother to me..ahh well. good night ......