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For those who go to Ambridge |
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Hiya! So, if you have the time, here are 194 reasons to why Ambridge is a waste of life.
P.S.- Kaylee and I found this on Kelly P.'s (the slutty one) Myspace page.
1. You have monthly drug searches throughout the school.
2. You seriously wonder what temperature the bread has to be in order for the butter to melt.
3. The school goes into lock-down due to so many fights in one day.
4.The bathroom stalls don't have doors.
5. Sadly, the most refreshing smell in the whole school is the cigarette smoke. The whole place smells like s**t in general.
6. When they give you report cards at the worst possible times, such as Christmas and now the Superbowl.
7. You get excited for spicy chicken day.
8. If you're on the first floor, you can smell Mrs. Bukah from the 3rd floor.
9. You have to dress in layers of clothing when you come to school, that way you are warm if its a no-heat day, or you can remove layers as you walk from the first floor to the third...its like going from Canada to Mexico....
10. When you can't get to your locker on the second floor for certain reasons
11. The fat hall-monitor, wearing socks with sandals, knows your entire life story... comments on what your wearing... tries to give input as to what you should eat for lunch... is Mr. Wellendorf's little b***h... etc.
12. Have a terrorist and a drug addict for guidance counselors.
13. Have 3 principals for no reason, one who is named B.B. KING
14. When girls think the biggest p***y ever is so hot and great.
15. When only assholes get girls.
16. When the same people get busted for drugs/alcohol multiple times.
17. When you actually have a band with hot girls in it. And when cool kids skip band to get drunk then go wreck their cars and fracture their skulls.
18. When students AND teachers call the one end of the 2nd floor AFRICA, and you have a hard time walking through Africa due to the large multitude of African American students standing in the middle of the hall blocking your way singing and dancing like they're on a slave ship.
19. When even the hall monitor tells people things like "you won't want to eat what they're serving today." & "Vocelli's on the left, spicy chicken of the right. I think the pizzas from last Wednesday kids I wouldn't eat it."
20. When ms palmers pissing her diaper in the middle of class
21. When you can walk to the band room and see 40 penises drawn on the wall.
22. When you have cameras labeled as "Temperature Relay", and people actually believe it.
23. When more that 12 girls are pregnant.
24. When we have a kid who killed his parents, one who built a bomb, one who brought a 4 inch blade, and one who got caught selling and doing drugs, all in one grade.
25. When the "African Americans" rule the school.
26. When you sweat in the winter and the summer.
27. When there are as many wiggers as there are African Americans.
28. When some of those wiggers are referred to as African Americans
29. When common phrases are "chuh" "jeeeeeeyuhhhh" "yeah I'd rock that" and " oh fo' reaaaaal" and other stuff not so common such as "fo' south" "fool, your club is small" "dirty south" and "my club is dirty"
30. When someone's uncle is younger than them
31. When people refer to the above-mentioned person as dirty south
32. If you have played poker for money at lunch with police officers and principals, mind you that cards in any form are banned
33. When your mascot is a retarded water boy called Bridger bob
34. When band is a class
35. When you are noted more for the band than actual education
36. When you laugh at these because they're all 100% true
37. When an entire floor smells like s**t. Literally.
38. When the girls go in the bathroom for a smoke the toilets don't even flush the cigs.
39. When your teacher has AOL & pretends that he got fired & puts it in his info but really isn't fired.
40. When half the population of the black people is...white.
41. When 75% of the fights broken up are girls.
42. When everyone knows the freshmen class won't survive 3 more years without killing each other.
43. All the half decent looking guys suck at life & the guys girls wouldn't really look at actually know how to treat us.
44. When the biggest stoner/burn out in the school is one our teachers.
45. The most common spot to smoke during school is the bathroom right across from the principals office
46. The teachers all know basically everyone smokes but doesn't do a damn thing about it
47. You get half nine weeks report cards...not just progress reports... report cards
48. The only people in the school that don't think the football teams sucks is the players themselves and the teachers
49. You have weekly pep rallies for football just so they can lose but you don't get anything for the teams who actually win and make it somewhere (such as soccer)
50. All the money goes towards building a new football field but none towards building a new high school
51. You can't walk 5 steps without seeing something that's broken
52. The basement smells like acid, weed, cig smoke, s**t and pee all at the same time
53. On Steelers day Fridays you still have at least 3 or 4 people wearing the opposing teams jerseys and you can hear people screaming down the halls that the Steelers suck just to try to get attention
54. You always know who the weekly slut it just by reading the bathroom walls
55. Doors in some of the bathrooms look like midgets should be in there cuz the doors are about 4' high
56. There is an odd man with a massive black substance on his head... does anyone know what it is?
57. The teachers complain to the upperclassmen about how the freshmen this year don't do anything ...and they all know it too
58. You can never run out of bad things to say about AAHS
59. When in every single one of your classes there is at least one person sleeping ...every period
60. You get yelled at for having your cell phone out but the teachers can stop class to talk on theirs (...did this person have ms trombetta??)
61. People leave milk in their lockers overnight to see if it will smell the next day ...and of course it does
62. Despite all of the bad things you probably wouldn't wanna go anywhere else
63. You can't go by any halls in the locker without seeing at least one massive d**k drawn on a locker
64. Over half of the top parts of the lockers don't even open
65. Teachers will openly make fun of the "troubled youth"
66. People in ISS actually have their own seats
67. Over half of the teachers are over the age of 50
68. In every class there is at least one person who gets kicked out
69. You get worried when there are no fights for more than a day or 2
70. No one actually likes mole day
71. All n' all Ambridge is pretty much the best place in the world
72. Teachers and faculty sleep with the students.
73. You have to camp out on Duss Ave. overnight just to find a parking spot that is not 5 blocks away in the morning.
74. You can just walk out of the front door...no questions asked.
75. You know all 50+ ways to get in and out of the school.
76. If you want to get a buzz, you just go into the bathroom and inhale very deeply.
77. You get a massive boner when you see Don Yannessa.
78. Your social studies teacher starts off the first day of school saying how he doesn't want us saying "******** head" "mother ********" "s**t face" "d**k sucker" etc.
79. All of the teachers in the "tobacco free school environment" go and smoke in the boiler room in the basement.
80. You've gone there for 4 years and there are certain hidden rooms and corridors of the school that you have never been in... and are too afraid to enter.
81. You're afraid to give your college application to your guidance counselor for fear that he will roll a doobie with it...
82. The school board refuses to spend money on education.
83. In the morning you are greeted with a slew of swear words and inappropriate drawings on your locker that doesn't open on the top.
84. A retard can take the same classes as you can.
85. You return all of the sweaters you get for Christmas because you know you could never wear one in school without having a heat stroke.
86. You've always asked why the cafeteria looks like someone threw Aquafresh toothpaste on the walls...and have contemplated eating one of those giant Little Debbie snacks hoisted on the wall.
87. Someone has s**t on the floor.
88. You've kept track on a running tally on the stall door for how many times the toilet has been used, called the "s**t count"
89. The band room is the only class with air conditioning.
90. You can trace back graffiti on the walls to the early 1940's.
91. You're excited for breaded pork chopette and hot turkey sandwich day.
92. Your freshman biology teacher told you that "Teaching at Ambridge is like planting an acorn in the desert."
93. The price of lunch goes up...and the portion gets smaller.
94. Some of the lunch ladies don't even speak English.
95. You've seen drug deals go on between class periods.
96. You wonder if Mr. King can actually move his torso and arms.
97. You get credit for gym for walking around a track for a period.
98. You've always wondered if the "commons area" was actually ever used for something important...other than a place to sit and smell toilet.
99. In order to escape the school's extremely hard crack down of smoking in school...you can just walk across the street across from the principal's room.
100. You've poked Mr. Taddy with a stick to see if he was still alive at his post.
101. You can spill a bottle of Gatorade on the floor and have it greet you everyday for the next several months because nobody will clean it up.
102. You can create an entire 100+ list of terrible things about our school, but you know you wouldn't have it any other way.
103. You know its bad when even the principal can watch homemade cheap whore pornography on a cell phone along with the entire school. GO DEBO
104. It's the only school in western Pennsylvania not canceling school, hell even a 2-hour delay, on Monday for the Superbowl
105. Your athletic director is the voice of the Steelers
106. Don Vito (the fat hall monitor) knows everyone's life story...except Anthony Bevilacqua's
107. You get in more trouble for cutting in line than you do if you tell a teacher to ******** off
108. When someone says God, you think of Don Yannessa, not the creator of the universe and father of Jesus Christ
109. Half of the teachers taught your parents or grandparents
110. When a teacher takes stolen signs that his students have stolen for him and then hang them in his room
111. When u need a hall pass to walk across the hall to get a drink from the fountain
112. When u have a science teacher that looks like the Gilmore girl
113. When someone will tap their pencil on their desk THE entire period
114. When people come to the football games not for the team but to c the band play lol and stay in their seats during halftime and leave during the game lol
115. You spend over 2 months in an AP class discussing the prom.
116. When someone you know had a nosebleed trailing all the way up the ramp that leads to the band room during band camp before freshman year... and it's still there when you're a junior.
117. You've had a full-blown snowball fight in the middle of study hall with snow off the roof, and the teacher doesn't notice.
18. You hear more about Westpoint Military Academy and how much your school sucks a** than actual learning material in your biology class.
119. You are told not to stick your pencil in the thing on the desk in Mr. Sovich's room, because it will electrocute you, and the teacher doesn't have a shutoff switch, nor does he really care besides complaining about it.
120. You've been through hallways that smell like ham. Yes, ham.
121. You've had an asthma attack in Mrs. Dewar's room from the mold.
122. They have a substitute teacher with a speech impediment teaching GATE English.
123. They use the same one to teach health class, and he talks about "Pooberty", and "Reading, Math, and Science."
124. You have vandalized the school in some way, shape or form.
125. You have a teacher that looks like he shaves with a rock, and is obsessed with homosexual He-Man.
126. Someone in the school caught scabies.
127. You've had a club against lumpy nacho cheese in the cafeteria, and a Flat Earth Society. (I love you Mr. Rock!)
128. You've kissed the band room door in the Junior High and left your mark.
129. You were afraid to go under the stage because of rats, etc.
130. Your English teacher talks about how he only has one testicle from a tragic soccer accident.
131. You have a teacher who lets you steal random things and stash them in his room.
132. White kids try to join the African American club.
133. You can’t wait for them to sell pepperoni rolls.
134. One of your teachers had a dead fetus in a glass on her desk.
135. You've sat in the security desk and goofed around.
136. You think you've seen your hall monitors on Jerry Springer. (Ms. Beauca)
137. Your teacher gives you a textbook that consists of 10 pages from all of the others being ripped/fallen out.
138. Your school board finally decides to rip down the shitty school, and then wants to build the new one on the new tennis courts/park/abandoned steel mill right next store.
139. You've had a liquid black substance drip on to your desk from a wire coating melting in the ceiling.
140. You're afraid to sit on the toilet seats for fear of catching an STD.
141. One of your teachers was once a stripper.
142. The police station is right next to your school.
143. You've lived off of spicy chicken for almost the whole school year.
144. You've tried to hijack "The Huntmobile"
145. You've stolen a teachers marshmallow peeps and he was emotionally disturbed.
146. You've transferred to another school and miss everything listed.
148. There is no more pool, but the hallways still smell like chlorine.
149. When at least one of those penises on the wall is drawn by you.
150. You can leave any 4-7th period classes to eat, just by saying that you don't have a lunch.
151. When a freshman is First Chair in your instrument section.
152. You can buy hand-rolled cigarettes from a freshman junkie.
153. At least half of all the cheerleaders get drunk on a daily basis.
154. When you have "Don't Drink and Drive" sessions every year in health, but everyone still drinks and they still drive drunk, despite all the warnings.
155. You can walk in to the nurse's office, pick up a mint, and walk right back out - no questions asked.
156. When it's so hot in the auditorium that you could loose weight.
157. When the maintenance crews bolt the windows shut because the old guy in the box is cold
157. The best non stick surface in the world is 7 month old Gatorade, and a line of dripped blood coming from the band room which has been there for three years running, oh and we must not forget the hall of Johnson R.I.P. December 2005
158. Mr. Sovich at some point throughout every class must excuse himself to the paper towel dispenser, and feeds the dissection frogs to the worms
159. They pay a guy to sit on his a** and yell out what's for lunch.
160. When kids make improvised shanks and carry them around the school
161. You have to hold your breath in the bathroom
162. You have to go to the nurse's bathroom for privacy
163. You smell gas in the science labs
164. You can chip paint off the walls
165. We can't open windows for fear of them falling
166. There are more special education classes than gifted
167. You have a school board who doesn't support education
168. You have to take a 10-minute walk to find an open bathroom
169. You can see the same newspaper in the same stairwell for a week straight
170. You hear about the football team 24/7 while other sports make the state play-offs
171. Words are spoken that you never knew existed
172. You wear shorts to school all winter
173. You can't leave a calculator in your locker for a whole period
174. You pay $3 for lunch and still are starving
175. Your homeroom teacher tells a student that she seriously doubts that his mother loves him
176. There is one specific person who sings & dances everywhere: down the hallway, at the football games, in class... the list goes on.(Megan Mellor and Ashley Claycomb)
177. Your school is in the news at least once a week.
178. The school has bomb threats.
179. The school board will pay for bodyguards at the meetings, but won't pay $200 for substitute techers while the steel drums go on a trip to Notre Dame.
180. A social studies teacher gets arrested for having sex with a student... twice.
181. That same teacher is the son of the former school board president.
182. The principal installs brand new cameras in the one stairwell that everyone draws penises on, knowing full well that the school is getting torn down in less than a year.
183. Mrs. Trombetta tells a girl *cough* Courtney Troup *cough* that she wouldn't graduate because she almost knocked over $5000 worth of electronic equipment.
184. Watching the movie "Troy" is a luxery in Mrs. Trombetta's movie class, thanks to the first semester class of the 06-07 year
185. Thanks to a gas leak, the entire population of band camp is sent to a parking lot for about an hour, then to a church for 3 more.
186. You feel safe walking the streets of Pittsburgh at 1:00 AM, but not Ambridge at 7:00 PM.
187. You attempt to throw the food on the ground, in anger of its horrible taste, but instead of staying on the ground it bounces back up and hits you in the face.
188. When the principal referrs to himself as a "toilet".
189. When your proud you can only count to eight. (and thats only the band students).
190. You are afraid to go under the bleachers in fear of getting AIDS.
191. You know the bread is at least a week old when it breaks you teeth.
192. Rumors about a supposed fight spread throughout the school within 10 minutes and the people who the rumor was about were never gonna ACTUALLY fight until they heard the rumor themself.
193. People walk down the hallway with a lit cigerette in there mouth so they can purposly get suspended.
194. You get evacuated from the school before it even starts.
MaddMaddie's Tip 'o the Day: Life sucks, get over it.
 MaddMaddie · Thu Jun 05, 2008 @ 07:31pm · 4 Comments |
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