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Why I think I'm goin crazy |
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Why? How did this universe come to be. More importantly, why did it come to be? Why are we here? Not just us, we humans, this planets, but the whole universe. Life never had to exist. Everything could have remained a vast emptiness. None of us truly understand. We know How, or at least we think we do, but this life, what we know, or what we think we know, there has to be a meaning behind it. This universe could cease to be in a heartbeat, for while we can guess or predict what will happen there are no certainties in life. Everything, dimension, plane, existence, doesn't have to be. This could all be a great black emptiness. What made everything come to be? Am I just another story in a person's mind, another character in a book, like the ones we read? Is all this just a fantasy, a fiction of someone else's mind?
I guess I could be having what a person may call a crisis of faith. But it really isn't a crisis of faith. It's a questioning of reality. I was cleaning my room, listening to music and all of a sudden, I just had this strange feeling. Like nothing was really actually real.Then I began wondering...why. Why do we even have to exist. There is a good chance that we were a fluke, a trick of nature. Not even just humans, but the whole universe in question. How do I know that I'm here, and not some figment of another person's imagination. Not just some character in a giant cosmic book? Hell, why is it that the universe and the dimensions and everything else out there exists? How do we know anything at all? We think we know the hows, but no one ever searches for the whys. Why does mankind exist, what else exists? What don't we know that will be crucial to survival. Everywhere we are bombarded with things that could kill us, hurt us, yet most of us live relatively safe lives. Why? Why did this universe come to be? I'm trying to find the words to something I already know, yet I don't know how I need them to come out. I know truths that remain unspoken, truths I should never know, yet I cannot understand the lies of illusion, the masks that makes this universe spin. For a minute as I sat listening to music, I felt numb. On the outside looking in, and for the third time in my life I was consciously aware of asking why? Of knowing that truly this universe does not actually have to exist. That it could have become a small spot of nothingness, not even a spot, but just nothing. There would be nothing, no space, not one thing. Just....a true emptiness of something that does not even exist. But I still feel...numb. Like I'm not even really here. Just observing. Like it's not even me, but some...higher awareness. Yet I'm aware of what I'm saying or typing, yet I cannot do anything. this is frustrating! I can't say the words in my mind because I don't even think they exist! Or they do, but in this place they have no meaning, and I don't have the words to explain them.
 crypticxguide · Tue May 27, 2008 @ 03:30am · 0 Comments |
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