WARNING: The following words will criticize a certain Zac Effron. If you are indeed hopelessly in love with him, do not read any further, it will anger you senselessly I promise. You've been warned. For those of you who cannot stand Zac Effron with a passion, have at the next several paragraphs.
If I ever met Zac Effron in person, I'd like to ask him how he can live with himself, being so disgustingly pretty. Don't get me wrong, I've learned over my adolescent years that I have a thing for men who are deemed pretty. But Effron, he's so pretty it's disgusting. Honestly, I don't know how someone can look so pretty and not be able to throw up when they look in the mirror.
Derek and I are waiting for him to come out of the closet. Derek because... well he's gay, and if Effron was gay, Derek would ultimately throw a party. I'm waiting because if he did make an announcement that he was gay, the entire world would know, no matter where you were at the time of the announcement. You'd be walking down the street and hear a zillion hearts from a zillion teenage girls breaking and you would just say "Oh, that must be the sound of Zac Effron coming out of the closet."
I hope if he does come out of the closet, it's within the next two to five years, because then I won't have to grow up with kids who grow up on Zac Effron, and then I'll have to listen to them fantasize about how my kids love him so freaking much it makes me want to intake an unhealthy amount of something that will give me a heart attack. I feel bad for those parents who have those "oh my God, Johnny Depp is so hot, I want him to marry me" kids. Don't get me wrong, the man is freaking hot, but really... the kids who want to marry him are like... thirty years younger than him. Ew. I mean, I freaking love David Bowie to death, but he's sixty years old. I'm seventeen. Ew.
But there is a big difference between Zac Effron and Johnny Depp, besides the fact that one is disgustingly pretty and the other one unbearably hot. Johnny Depp has talent! There was news that Effron did not really sing in HSM1. I doubt he did in HSM2, will sing in HSM3, and if he really sang in Hair Spray.
In conclusion, Zac Effron, along with the untalented cannot sing "Hannah Montana", need to jump off the nearest cliff. Although I will admit two things; if Effron admits to his homosexuality, he can live. And Miley's song "To See You Again" or whatever it's called, it's pretty good. I'll admit to dancing to that when it plays on the radio, it's got a techno beat that I like. But she still can't sing and doesn't need to belong on this Earth.
If the following has offended you, I apologize. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion though.
A Flying Monkey Tree Community Member 
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