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Although I’m not overly active on the forums – I just thought I’d give you guys a general lowdown on what has been going on as of late, and why I won’t be around for awhile. Please bear with this message if it’s kind of confusing or ambled (or just plain spelled like a toddler on crack wrote it). I haven’t slept in days and I’m running off of pure caffeine and nerves.
Thursday night at around 9pm, I went to check on my dad in his room – and noticed he wasn’t breathing normally. My mom came in and we tried to wake him up, but he wasn’t responsive. We tried shaking and calling him. I held his hand and pleaded for him to wake up and he would return the squeeze for awhile, then suddenly he went lax and stopped breathing.
My mom checked his pulse, got nothing, and started messaging his chest and after about two minutes he came back. We called 911 (who fudging put us on HOLD for like 5 minutes), and he was sent to the emergency room.
His heart stopped and he was pronounced dead twice (Maybe three, not counting the first time mom and I brought him back). Once in the ambulance and once in the hospital.
We brought him back a final time, and a team of doctors said that the cancer sores have formed into a form of gangrene-ish infection and that on top of the angiosarcoma attacking his nervous system and lymphatic system is what is killing him now.
He’s still with us now, but just barely. He was fine early Thursday morning, then towards the evening dramatically changed. The doctors said he won’t live past the weekend. His kidneys are failing, and his whole body from under the breast is dead and suffering decay from the cancer and gangrene.
I’m so angry right now, I can barely speak. Angry that I’m going to loose my father, and angry that the poodle of a doctor we had at the VA didn’t bother to even check my dads upper wounds – when we told them to. The infection is what is killing him now. It is NOT something you develop overnight. As far as I’m concerned – the reason my dad is dying a few months sooner than he should, is because that fudging biotch didn’t do her job. I’ve already contacted a lawyer, and we’re going to file a lawsuit. We have several people on our side, even coworkers of the stupid doctor who agree with us. Even the Doctors at Madigan (where we took him to the ER), were pissed that the other doctor didn’t even notice. It was OBVIOUS. She would even smack my dads hand when he’d try to show her (this on top of many other things). If I had been there. I would have broken a few of her teeth. No idea how my mom refrained. I do know my mom wanted to.
Yes the cancer is killing him and quickly, but he still had a chance to live a month or two longer to see my nephews and nieces, but now with the infection It’ll be a blessing if he lives till morning. I’m so angry. I’m not ready to lose my dad, and it feels like a part of me has been dying along with him.
Instead of keeping him in the hospital, we brought him home – since he told us yesterday that he did not want to die in a hospital. So we just got him home this morning and he isn’t coherent, and he can barely talk now. I only pray that he’ll make it through the night to see my brother who is flying over tomorrow. He wants to see Tony so bad, that he calls out for him. My brother wouldn’t be able to handle not being here when my dad passes away. We all want to be there with my dad when the time comes. To hold him, and let him know he’s not alone.
My mom left the hospital to get the house ready for the ambulance to bring my dad home, and I stayed at the hospital. When the ambulance came for my dad and I, before we could leave the doctor came in and I found out that my dad had given me power of attorney over him. So I had to make one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make in my life.
I had to choose if I wanted to try and revive my dad or just let him die.
I’m so tired of seeing him suffer. He suffers so much – and the doctors are amazed he’s even alive. They said anybody with something even a quarter as bad would be dead by now. He’s suffered so much – and doesn’t deserve it. His heart has already stopped 2-3 times. He’s fighting to see my brother, and that’s pretty much all that’s keeping him.
With all that in mind, and the fact that if they bring him back – he wouldn’t be any better, he’d just suffer more.
So I went ahead and told them to just let him pass on. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to say. I’m 19, not ready to lose my dad yet. Though I know it’s what he would have wanted me to say. He suffers so much and he doesn’t deserve it. He mentioned before he was hospitalized, that he wouldn’t want them to do full code on him – and ram tubes down him. I felt that by saying no, I respected his wishes.
With all of this, I’ll be very scarce. My mom and I are taking turns watching over him in two hour shifts. His sister and niece came down to be with him as well, so now we’re just hoping my brother makes it in time.
So don’t really expect to see me on much, and when I am – I might not be all there or not in a talkative mood.
After my dad passes away I probably won’t be on for a month or two (possibly more). We’re losing the house for sure, and will be moving to Gatesville North Carolina to live with my brother (although he’s in AZ, but the family is still in NC).
So we’ll be in a major process of relocating among tying up other loose ends.
I'll still pop on now and then and lurk the forums - though the best way to contact me is on msn.
Thursday night at around 9pm, I went to check on my dad in his room – and noticed he wasn’t breathing normally. My mom came in and we tried to wake him up, but he wasn’t responsive. We tried shaking and calling him. I held his hand and pleaded for him to wake up and he would return the squeeze for awhile, then suddenly he went lax and stopped breathing.
My mom checked his pulse, got nothing, and started messaging his chest and after about two minutes he came back. We called 911 (who fudging put us on HOLD for like 5 minutes), and he was sent to the emergency room.
His heart stopped and he was pronounced dead twice (Maybe three, not counting the first time mom and I brought him back). Once in the ambulance and once in the hospital.
We brought him back a final time, and a team of doctors said that the cancer sores have formed into a form of gangrene-ish infection and that on top of the angiosarcoma attacking his nervous system and lymphatic system is what is killing him now.
He’s still with us now, but just barely. He was fine early Thursday morning, then towards the evening dramatically changed. The doctors said he won’t live past the weekend. His kidneys are failing, and his whole body from under the breast is dead and suffering decay from the cancer and gangrene.
I’m so angry right now, I can barely speak. Angry that I’m going to loose my father, and angry that the poodle of a doctor we had at the VA didn’t bother to even check my dads upper wounds – when we told them to. The infection is what is killing him now. It is NOT something you develop overnight. As far as I’m concerned – the reason my dad is dying a few months sooner than he should, is because that fudging biotch didn’t do her job. I’ve already contacted a lawyer, and we’re going to file a lawsuit. We have several people on our side, even coworkers of the stupid doctor who agree with us. Even the Doctors at Madigan (where we took him to the ER), were pissed that the other doctor didn’t even notice. It was OBVIOUS. She would even smack my dads hand when he’d try to show her (this on top of many other things). If I had been there. I would have broken a few of her teeth. No idea how my mom refrained. I do know my mom wanted to.
Yes the cancer is killing him and quickly, but he still had a chance to live a month or two longer to see my nephews and nieces, but now with the infection It’ll be a blessing if he lives till morning. I’m so angry. I’m not ready to lose my dad, and it feels like a part of me has been dying along with him.
Instead of keeping him in the hospital, we brought him home – since he told us yesterday that he did not want to die in a hospital. So we just got him home this morning and he isn’t coherent, and he can barely talk now. I only pray that he’ll make it through the night to see my brother who is flying over tomorrow. He wants to see Tony so bad, that he calls out for him. My brother wouldn’t be able to handle not being here when my dad passes away. We all want to be there with my dad when the time comes. To hold him, and let him know he’s not alone.
My mom left the hospital to get the house ready for the ambulance to bring my dad home, and I stayed at the hospital. When the ambulance came for my dad and I, before we could leave the doctor came in and I found out that my dad had given me power of attorney over him. So I had to make one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make in my life.
I had to choose if I wanted to try and revive my dad or just let him die.
I’m so tired of seeing him suffer. He suffers so much – and the doctors are amazed he’s even alive. They said anybody with something even a quarter as bad would be dead by now. He’s suffered so much – and doesn’t deserve it. His heart has already stopped 2-3 times. He’s fighting to see my brother, and that’s pretty much all that’s keeping him.
With all that in mind, and the fact that if they bring him back – he wouldn’t be any better, he’d just suffer more.
So I went ahead and told them to just let him pass on. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to say. I’m 19, not ready to lose my dad yet. Though I know it’s what he would have wanted me to say. He suffers so much and he doesn’t deserve it. He mentioned before he was hospitalized, that he wouldn’t want them to do full code on him – and ram tubes down him. I felt that by saying no, I respected his wishes.
With all of this, I’ll be very scarce. My mom and I are taking turns watching over him in two hour shifts. His sister and niece came down to be with him as well, so now we’re just hoping my brother makes it in time.
So don’t really expect to see me on much, and when I am – I might not be all there or not in a talkative mood.
After my dad passes away I probably won’t be on for a month or two (possibly more). We’re losing the house for sure, and will be moving to Gatesville North Carolina to live with my brother (although he’s in AZ, but the family is still in NC).
So we’ll be in a major process of relocating among tying up other loose ends.
I'll still pop on now and then and lurk the forums - though the best way to contact me is on msn.
