Self-hatred and mental disorders
Valentine's day is all about love. ********. I hate it. One ******** day when you can express your love to someone, and some bitches have made it all materialistic. Screw them. You don't need a $1,000,000 ring to tell that you love someone. HAVE PEOPLE FORGOTTEN 3 SIMPLE WORDS?! ********. 3 simple words, "I love you". All that you need to make someone's day better. "I love you". "Aishiteru". "Jag älskar dig". "Rakastan sinua." "Ich liebe dich". "Wo ai ni". "Je t'aime". It's not that hard. Just say it to someone you love, and they will feel better. I wish I could hear those words. All I ask for is that I could hear Ren say he loves me. I don't want him to blame himself for some reason I never accused him for.
~
To Ren: I could never hate you. How could I? I love you. More than anything. And I always will. I don't know what's running through your head right now, but I wish you'd talk to me. I wish I could help you. I wish I was there by your side. I love you. Really. And I always will.
~
Lately I've felt unbelievable self-hatred. I feel like I could kill myself. I hate myself. I'm useless. I feel like nobody loves me. My feelings are out of control. I feel like I've lost my mental stability. I can't even sleep anymore. I don't eat anything anymore. Is this what's called ultimate depression? What caused it? One thing I know, though. It's not because of Ren. He's the main reason I still wake up every morning, alive. If it wasn't for Ren and Nanuto, I would've committed suicide.
~ Dai-chan
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