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Warning! This story contain's lotsa lotsa bad language and stuff like that. If you're offended by bad language, don't read it...If you're offended by Jrockers being Pokemon-ized, don't read it. If you're offended by yaoi, don't read it. If your'e offended by...well, you get the point. I do not own Dir en grey or Pokemon or An' Cafe or or or....anything that's in here I suppose...except for the fact that I wrote it. Not you, not someone else, but me. I WROTE IT! D<

Chapter 1: I'M GOANNA BE A JROCKAMON MASTER!
It was late at night when Die was in his room masturbating-I mean...Practicing his Jrockamon trainer skills...
"ANDOU DAISUKE STOP ******** MASTURBATING AND GO TO ******** SLEEP YOU HAVE SOME ******** JROCKAMON s**t TO DO TOMMOROW, ********!" Die's grandma yelled. And so, not wanting to dissapoint his dear ol' grandmama, Die went to sleep...with an erection...which wasn't easy.
The next morning, Die awoke a little late but figured it was okay, and headed off to the..place...to get the Jrockamons..
"Gee, I wonder what I'll get...A Bou-a-saur...? A Meev-azard?" But as he got there, he realized all the good Jrockamons had been taken.
"********!" He cursed.
"Wait, we still have one Jrockamon left, Die..." Prof.Grass said. "It's a Kyo. It's kind'a defective..."
"Kyo..? So, it's not like a...Kyochu or something?"
"NO, IT'S JUST ******** KYO YOU STUPID RED-HEADED b*****d NOW SHUT THE ******** UP AND TAKE IT!" Prof. Grass shouted.
"Fiiiine, jeeeeeze!" Die whined. And so, Prof.Grass lead out the Kyo in a muzzle, on a leash. "Be careful, he bites..."
"Is he goanan kill me, or something...?"
"Maybe, but I don't give a s**t, just get him out of here."
And so, Die and Kyo began their adventure together....
Later on, in their Jrockamon adventure...
"Oh, s**t, a Jrockamon! Let me catch it! Kyo, uh, attack!"
"******** you."
"Fine, be that way. J-ball, GO!"
And so, Die threw the J-ball. But the wild SparGackt was being a b***h, and didn't want to be caught. And, being the stupid b***h that it was, it through a fit.
"You just ruined my perfect 23120471204721094712074 year old skin...Prepare to die, b***h."
And suddenly, thousands of ugly a** SparGackts flew from the trees. They divebombed Kyo and Die, causing them to run. And run they ran! Untill Kyo fell asleep in the middle of the road. At which time Die had to drag him. The SparGackts were catching up!
"Wake up you b*****d!" Die shouted. But Kyo continued to sleep. But without warning the wild SparGackt mounted the unsuspecting Kyo, causing him to give a shriek of surprise and mild pain. "SON OF A b***h!"
Die gasped and stared in awe. Finally, his voice returned to him "The legendary Surprise Buttsex attack...!" He had read of the Surprise Buttsex attack in PlayJrockamon.
He read it for the articles, he swore...
Kyo retaliated by spitting some sort of white liquid on the SparGackt. Die did not know what this attack was...maybe he should have read more than PlayJrockamon.
The SparGackt retreated and told the other SparGackts that it was no longer safe. They all left.
"Alright let's go to the next town and pass right through it randomly and do some more Jrockamon s**t!"
"******** you, stupid b*****d!" Kyo shrieked. "I need to go to the Jrockamon Center!"
"...Why?"
"My a**...is bleeding! And he coulda like...given me an STD or something...God, my a**...it hurts..."
"Fiiiiine...." Die sighed. "God, this Jrockamon stuff is hard work."
"No ******** s**t, sherlok..."
And so, Die continued on. It started to rain though and he wanted to get to the Jrockamon Center faster so he stole a bike sitting near a lake. All of the sudden, someone came up from the lake. Was it another Jrockamon trainer? He had a blue-ish color'd hair, was wearing a pair of leather Daisy Duke-like shorts, and if he had boobies they would be showing from his fishnet top. A pair of thigh-high boots he also wore...
"b***h!" he shouted. "That's my bike!"
"I'll give it back!" and he continued to ride off. Obviously, he was lying. He wasn't going to give that bike back. He was going to use over and over and over and-
"WATCH OUT, YOU STUPID MOTHER ********!"
Die crashed into a tree. The bike was ruined. Kyo went flying over the bike and landed on the road.
"I ******** hate you..." he growled. So, they continued their way to the next town...and at last, they finally arrived...

Chapter 2: p***s Town Trouble
Ah, p***s Town...Men walked around in short skirts and wore skimpy outfits. There were several d***o shops and not a woman in sight. Die couldn't possibly figure out why the town was called p***s Town...Die entered the Jrockamon Center with Kyo, who was limping quite noticabley "******** Surprise Buttsex..." he mumbled under his breath. There was a person at the counter for the Jrockamon Center ...receptionist...thing. Or what ever. But ********' anyway, the homosexual looking male at the counter acknowledged them "How can I help you two?" he asked gayly.
"My Jrockamon had the Surprise Buttsex attack used on him." Die said, not sounding all that worried.
"Oh, okay...well, let's do some Jrockamon s**t to fix him up."
"Yeah, um. How long will this take? I wanna go do some Jrockamon s**t. Like catch Jrockamon."
"Uhhh, b***h you probably won't catch any...Weak as Jrockamon trainer. Getting your poor Kyo surprised buttsex'd..."
"But it wasn't my fault! There were a bunch of SparGackts!" Die whined.
"Psh...'kay...It will take about an hour."
"AN HOOOOOOOOUUUURRRR?!" Die whined "Are there any strip clubs in this town? I want to see some boobies..."
"Hon, you're in p***s Town...there's no boobies here. However, there are strip clubs..."
Die grumbled and sat on a bench, while the homosexual man took Kyo to get taken care of.
---A half an hour had gone by and he was still waiting. He was watching the TV, seeing several penises. Some big, some small. Some purple, some pink, some green, orange, blue...Suddenly, two people burst through the door.
"PREPARE FOR TROUBLE!" one shouted. She was wearing a skimpy outfit that looked...skimpy.
"And make it tripple..." This man was wearing a skimpy outfit as well...
"Double you damn idiot.."
"I thought it was tripple..."
"Tripple doesn't rhyme with trouble!"
"Oh.."
The female cleared her throat "To protect the world from penetration!"
"To ******** all people within our nation..."
"Bonnie!"
"Clyde!"
"Team Pocket is putting stuff in at the speed of light!"
"Give us your s**t!" said a strange cat like creature.
Die blinked, confused.
"How do you protect something from penetration if you're going to ******** it...?"
Clyde sighed "I told you it didn't make sense!"
"Well neither does tripple rhyming with trouble..anyway...we're here to steal your precious Jrockamons!"
Die gasped "What?! No, I just got mine! Steal someone elses!"
"Psh, fine." Clyde said.
"What, no! We have to steal his Jrockamon, too!" Bonnie huffed.
"Dude you have no idea the trouble I've gone through with this fella! You think I'd...well, on second thought go ahead and take him."
"YOU b*****d!" Could be heard from the back room.
So, Bonnie and Clyde headed into the backroom and snatched up all the Jrockamons. Amongst the screams of several flaming men. After they were gone...
"How couldju let him take your Jrockamon like that?!" asked the attendant/recaptionist person thing.
"He was trouble...?"
"Tsk,tsk. I thought you were a Jrockamon trainer! Now how'r you goanna go about catchin' more Jrockamons? Y'ain't got no Jrockamon to lower another Jrockamon's HP to CATCH IT!"
Die hadn't realized that. "Oh s**t! You're right! I gotta go get him!" he said, getting up to run after them. Unfortunately, he had no idea where to start. FORTUNATELY, Bonnie and Clyde had only made it a few feet. They were fighting about something. Die snuck up behind them and snatched Kyo from their hold.
"HEY THAT WAS MINE!" Clyde yelled.
"No, it's mine. G'bye..."
And so, the two of them began their walk back to the Jrockamon Center.
"What the hell was that about?!" Kyo questioned.
"What was what...?"
"You were just goanna let me go with those creeps?! What's wrong with you?!"
"Oh, uh...well, I thought about it and realized...it wasn't right." He was lying, obviously, but Kyo didn't catch it.
"Good for you..."
As he re-entered, he found a familiar face waiting for him.
"You wrecked my bike, you ********' b*****d!" the blue-haired man said.
"Er, yeah...sorry."
"So, are you a Jrockamon trainer?"
"Uh, yeah I am. Why do you ask?" Die questioned.
"COOL SO AM I *gahurk* I'm going to come with you since you wrecked my bike and s**t..."
"...Alright."
And so, Die had a new trainer with him. Maybe they would have hot sex. Who knew. Only the future knew...The two...er, three headed off into the sunset...or, into the forest...where the sunset was kinda obscured...and that was kinda stupid, cause it was getting dark and the forest was already dark and s**t so...ANYWAY! They were heading off. What await them in the forest they couldn't know...and stuff.