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Not a Linear Cycle of Change
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To give and take.
Forgot, but never forgave.
Born to die;
Told the truth, but mostly lies.
It wasn't a love or tragedy.
It wasn't war only reality.
In the end.. isn't that enough?
Sin, sin, remorse, and sin again.
Perhaps sin another time.
A sickening spin, to the center of it's head.

The pleasant cave is caving in.
So no, not too bad (so far).
Another try to the other end, this heart ain't mine.
Never thought it'd turn this way.
Not torwards me, the other way.
Saw it the way forwards from backwards.
A good way to act cruel.

Think you can, you couldn't.
In the corner of the room;
This is as good as it gets, very suspicious.
Not very inocuous.

Continue this way and I say, so far so bad.
Too good to be true.
Several ways to act so cruel.
Continue on this way and I say, too good to be true.
Not so bad so far, only worse than what it began as.

Trying on the new sounds in the room.
None fit the description, I'm looking for a boom.
Continue on this way, so good its bad.
Today I saw noise in my head.
Claimed I was okay, that I was richous.
Couldn't have been so wrong.
Stop acting like your happy.
Stop having stupid smiles and grins, I said continue on.
Oh, well arn't you so kind?
Not really, so I say continue on.

So bad, too far to see today.
Repeat that again.
So good, I can't see today.
Oh not again.
I hear the music in my eyes.
I saw the pictures in my ears.
So simple, even the endings.
Don't pretend your happy.
That I'm here
I said don't.
I said do.
So very inocuous, when you don't got blood on your blouse.
Too bad I ain't happy.
Don't pretend your happy that I'm still here.

I'm getting suspicious, leaving your friends.
Ready to jump to the next block again.
Not much left to do (these days) but the same thing over and over and over, and then again.
What to do, what to do.
Not much here because everyone is gone.
So very suspicious when the clock turns backwards.
Never seen this stuff before.
except the last time this happened.

I noticed some blood on your kitchen floor.
I spilled it from my cup, it was half empty as I said before.
I left the door open with empty children outside.
So very suspicious of myself, and maybe you.
Sin some more and we will see who is worse.
Can't belive its ending so fast, as we grow more suspicious of you.

You though you were so inocuous.
Only made me suspicious.
As you sinned.
I remorsed.
We began the cycle again.
Not a linear cycle to be so slow.
And anyways, away we go.

I left the door open.
Hoping you'd come in.
Only got crooks and murderers.
Who would have thought again?
And anyways, we repeat the cycle again.
Hope you saw that this wasn't what we began.
We're only repeating this cycle again.

We grew apart;
As you thought you were inocuous, you weren't.
I grew suspicious, you knew.
You took hold of this heart that wasn't mine.
Broke it in two.
I knew you had some blood on your blouse.
I got you some on your floor.
Only as we keep repeatin' this same cycle again.
And again.
Maybe...again.
You thought you were inocuous, I was suspicious.
You knew, we knew, they knew, no chance for us.
And then we grew into two people.
One inocuous, one suspicious.
Had our fight.
Oh so sad, won't you say?
This place was the worst I'd say.
So much blood on the ground.
And as the door was open.
We stood lying there in eachother's arms.
Singing a song.

No body was coming and we knew.
They were all gone.
We were all we had.
And it wasn't pure.
Oh, weren't we all so sure?
So many times we stated feelings, we didn't mean.
I can't remember your face.
And now that the cycle is over..
We begin it again.

And as those days went on, we grew older.
And as those days went by, I realized.
It all wasn't real.
And as the time died fast, I knew I wouldn't die.
And as we all lined up for slaughter, I knew I'd be back again.
This world remained acting inocuous, as I remained suspicious as the repeating repition.
Gained over and over and over again.

As I steppped into the morning air.
stepped out and stated that something wasn't clear.
That I was alright.
It was a mess.
I cleaned up my part, do yours next.

And as I watched you lay there.
I knew it wasn't picture perfect.
Oh please don't listen to me.
I'm only livin' in my dream world, breathing from my fake lungs.
I heard a heart, I saw none.

And to continue on with my repeating story.
It never ended as I watched and read.
And as I gazed out the 7 millionth story window of the house.
I knew that there weren't heart or mind in those zombies.
They weren't zombies, they were vampires.
They said they were humans.
I said they were machines.

Crushed a rose.
Didn't bleed a single drop.
Bent a flower.
Torn a tree in three.
Not a single splinter into my fist of rage.
And I didn't care for the end to your repeating story.
I didn't care to hear or see you at all.
And here it does again.
Suspicious of you, and repeating again and again.
Same all s**t, repeatin' again.
I can't take it any more.

And as I sit wondering why its always repeating.
And as I sit pondering why your still alive after all I've done.
Shoulda known; You'd came so close to suicide.
Your tumbling down the rabbit hole that was 7 million kilometers down.
Again and again.
As I stood watching from the 7 millionth story window of that house.

And to say I cared, when I stared blank to you.
And as I tear this world down.
And as I unwravel the threads.
And here it goes again.
Burning this process and dancing in these embers.
And all as I can't take it anymore.
So ready to tear my own matrix down.
Ready to drop out of this repeating race.
No second or last place.
No finish line, no hold.
No track or mold to create from.
As things keep repeating, and its not repetition.

Slightly different every time.
I know it was often a lie.
And you said I swear.
You said forever.
You said I do..
And I knew you were so no true.
And now I'm left in that house wonderin' who is next.
And then 7 million tears hit the ground.
Again...after it has already happened 7 million other times.

Lost in the dark.
I'm just feelin' around.
On my way 7 million stories down.
Noticin' they're all repeatin'.
Driving me insane.

I plugged my ears.
I heard no evil.
I closed my eyes.
I saw no evil.
I zipped my mouth closed.
I spoke no evil.
And some how I sinned in your eyes.
Thats how it goes.

Someone help me out of here.
7 million stories down, I know its almost done.
And then it repeats again.
Left staring out my window and 7 million meters high.
Its all I got.
Trapped in this never ending story book of a house.
Forced to endure all 7 million stories all over again.

When it made him turn insane.
Struck you on your head.
No sign of life.
Won't you wake?
I got a feeling, and its gonna go on.
And then repeat again.
As I hear a heart beat.
I saw no heart, once again.
Walked out the revolving doors, 7 million floors down.
And no sign of life.
Deja Vu.
That feeling again.

Crushed several roses in my hand.
In my perfect matrix, who said I'm alive?
Now I'm standing over 10 million stories high.
On the edge, standing in delight.
And as I took one step into my flight.
I grew wings and flew away.
And as I took another step back.
I fell two 7 million miles away.

And in the next moment I was drivin' circles in the parking lot.
Breathing several million toxic fumes.
And as angels watched me in my misery, they cried.
And the tears fell to earth, like meteors.
I said let it rain, let it pour.
And drenched I was, and I was back at my window.
7 million floors up.
Ready to do it again.
As I was still suspicious, you stopped acting inocuous.
And in several million moments you never woke.
Still suspicious and I knew I was not inocuous.

I watched those machines, in my own matrix.
I considered it lying to the devil.
A sin for a sinner.
And as I remorsed.
You sinned.
And you woke.
And I fell asleep.
And you watched.
And I drew vivid pictures in my mind.
And you knew you were actually inocuous;
I wasn't, I was the suspicious guilty.
Again and again.
Atleast we are moving forward 7 million miles at a time.

You walked 7 million meters down.
Looked to the next person, said.
"Let it rain, let it pour."
Watched an angel fall.
You wished you'd seen one.
You havn't ever before.
Stared at it.
Left it laying there.
Lying to it, said you'd be back.
A sin for a sinner.
And as it turned to a devil, again.
You ran and hid from your creation.
And as you heard it recite.
A pretty siren's song.
You were never lured away from the line.


In.. the end.. wasn't that enough?
And to think it was reapeating itself all over again.
And oh what repitition it was.
So clearly, I woke up screaming.
You stood there.
We were both up and we stepped out into the fake world.
Took it for what it was.
And watched as it repeated.
Said that we saw something that wasn't clear.
This feeling again.
Repeating this process once more, and then again.

And we talked to the people of machines.
And of vampire zombies.
Said we were alright.
And continued to look at the angels fall.
One by one we counted them.
And they kept falling as we counted 7 million that had fallen.
And we wondered what 7 million was as we went up 7 million floors.

And there to great us, stood our own selves.
Staring out the 7 millionth story floor.
Of the house 7 million miles high up.
And I stood next to me and stared out the window too.
And I left out the door as my light went out and was left feeling my way down 7 million floors.
As I stood staring out that window.
As you left to sleep again.
I held you in my arms again, as we sang a song.
And as I spilled blood from my cup.
And as I repeated the whole process again.
Left turning on this screw, it won't go in.
Deja vu, so familiar again.


Hello to my friendly fiends.
My enemies, my demons, those whom I ignored.
Why help a sinner?
And my new fellow friends explained it to me.
And lowered my self-esteem.
Deja Vu, felt this before.
Deja vu to that too.

And as I must discuss all these insights.
I said stop smiling, I said continue on.
I left that door open.
And I got no one but crooks and murderers.
And I noticed you weren't coming in.
As I stood watching myself repeating this process again.
7 million stories gone.
7 million more to bare inside.
7 million tears.
7 million stories to climb back down to the ground level floor.
7 million more angles to count.
7 million more tears fall to earth as I ponder on what to do.
7 million more reasons on what 7 million can mean to me.

As you slept, I saw your eyes.
They compared to a dreaming angel that lost all faith in comparison.
Passion is just a better way of looking to war.
And your eyes resembled a raven that was ready to make me scream "Lenore!"
And then I jumped through that window that I soon saw as a door.
7 million stories high.
Thought of a way to live through it.
And as I hit the ground.
My eyes only opened again to a new sight.
As beholding to amazment.
I was alive again.
Just ready to repeat the same process again.