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I do not talk to myself, I talk to appliances
December 12, 2007
Yelling at electronics is a time honored tradition in my family. My grandparents yelled and talked to the radio, my mom yelled and talked to the TV and now the newer electronics and I am a big believer in the power of a nasty word spoken to many of the electrical appliances I own.

I don’t have a navigation thingy for just those reasons. My sense of direction is wonderfully disfunctional, so I don’t need anyone helping me with that. I will often have words with the electric timer on the stove, microwave, computers and the DVD/VCR player.

I wondered if my children would carry on the tradition, until recently when I overheard one of my kids mutter “b***h!” to some sort of device that had wires running into the head, out to the pocket and inside the coat.

Apparently these electronic demons have sexes. I’ll have to do the research and see if it’s random or assigned so that next time my computer acts up I’ll know whether or not to call it a son-of-a-b***h or just a b***h.

Until then I’ll stick with the standard “What the hell?!!!” and the ever popular “Don’t YOU tell me no or I’ll kick the electricity out of you!”.


I used to see life as ironic, now it looks more like moronicBFC
December 17, 2007
I’m just wrapping up my Christmas shopping this week. A pair of shoes for the boy and I’m done. I’ve managed to avoid any “real” shopping up to now by doing most of it online or where I normally shop.

Yesterday I bought a stocking stuffer for the kids. They’re both into those energy drinks. They slam them back when playing computer or video games so that they can stay up to ungodly hours of the night. I was in a liquor store yesterday picking up a Monster before I hit the gym when I ran across a new size of the drink. I’ve done the 8 oz and the screw top 24 oz cans, but lo and behold they make a 32 oz pop top now.

(que the angels singing)

Underneath the name and description (enery drink, like you’d be guessing) they have the letters “BFC”. Bill and I pondered this for about 10 seconds before I blurted out “Big ******** Can!”.

My mind is a terrible place to live. I can’t decode basic algebra but if you give me 10 seconds I can make a phrase with swear words in it. Now, I happen to think I’m right about those initials, but just in case I’m not, I’m open to suggestions.

Posted in Humor, caffeine, children | Tagged drink, Monster | 5 Comments »

I do not talk to myself, I talk to appliances
December 12, 2007
Yelling at electronics is a time honored tradition in my family. My grandparents yelled and talked to the radio, my mom yelled and talked to the TV and now the newer electronics and I am a big believer in the power of a nasty word spoken to many of the electrical appliances I own.

I don’t have a navigation thingy for just those reasons. My sense of direction is wonderfully disfunctional, so I don’t need anyone helping me with that. I will often have words with the electric timer on the stove, microwave, computers and the DVD/VCR player.

I wondered if my children would carry on the tradition, until recently when I overheard one of my kids mutter “b***h!” to some sort of device that had wires running into the head, out to the pocket and inside the coat.

Apparently these electronic demons have sexes. I’ll have to do the research and see if it’s random or assigned so that next time my computer acts up I’ll know whether or not to call it a son-of-a-b***h or just a b***h.

Until then I’ll stick with the standard “What the hell?!!!” and the ever popular “Don’t YOU tell me no or I’ll kick the electricity out of you!”.

Posted in Humor, family, issues, stupidity | Tagged electronics | 7 Comments »

Love Spoon
December 11, 2007


I ran across a charming old celtic tradition that the welsh have carried on to the present day while surfing the net. It also neatly ties into the hand fasting that I will be having in February.

It seems in days past that sailors who were at sea who spend their “leisure” time whittling. They would sometimes whittle ornate spoons for their girlfriends and wives. Over time the spoons became more and more ornate. They often include elements that reflect the woman, or couple that received the love spoons.

I found a carver in the UK who does commissioned spoons. http://www.adamking.co.uk/spoons/ I know it’s supposed to be from a man to a woman, but since it is 2007 and not the 1600s I decided to have one made and present it to Bill at our hand fasting. I used Irish knotting elements from other spoons I’ve researched (we’re both at least part Irish) as well as a symbol from the Ukrainian flag which is part of his heritage. The artist has agreed to make my design and I’m really looking forward to seeing it!

Is this cool or what?

Posted in Love, family | Tagged gift, love spoon | 2 Comments »

Worse than a Hanging Chad
December 10, 2007
I found out over the weekend that my daughter’s school has stolen the class presidency from her.

A couple of months ago the class elected class officers. My daughter ran for president and social vice as a fall back. The only other kid running for president was running to win a bet and did not prepare a speech. My daughter spent 4 hours writing her speech.

They all voted, a faculty member counted the votes and then immediately shredded them. They announced the other kid had won president and my daughter won social vice. At that time she was confused. It didn’t make sense to her and she suspected that they had fixed the elections.

I found out this weekend that they indeed had taken her win away from her because her father was having trouble paying the tuition. He has since negotiated a deal with them, and they told him they had taken her win away because they “thought she might not be there at the end of the year, so they put in someone who they knew would be there”.

My daughter wasn’t supposed to know, but she got it out of her dad. This upset her so much she told me. This upset me so much I got heartburn and couldn’t sleep that night. This is supposed to be a christian school, but apparently if you have enough money you can buy whatever you want.

I’m sickened by the whole thing. I remember in about 4th grade they would come home every week with a new word. It would be integrity, fairness, forgiveness, righteousness, etc. All good things they wanted their students to have and use. It seems so grating to find out that they behaved in such a shamefull way.

I have a call into the principal this morning. I’m going to call him on the carpet for this. I’m hoping he still has enough conscience to at least partially fix this. I want my daughter to be promoted to co-president. If the principal continues to behave poorly I will go over his head and to the local press.

I know this is only an 8th grade class election and in the bigger picture my daughter will have larger challenges, but you have to draw the line somewhere. Perhaps I’m over reacting, but if I don’t stand up for her who will? (not her father) I may not be able to effect any change, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have to at least try.

Posted in children | Tagged voting fraud | 8 Comments »

Things that go Squeek
December 5, 2007
I’m not even sure this is blog worthy, but here it goes.

Last night as I was driving to the grocery store to pick up dinner my car clutch started squeeking. I know, not a 10 on a 1 to 10 scale of things that should grate on a person’s nerves, but still. Every time I changed gears the stupid thing squeeked. I experimented to see if it was only a slow motion thing or if it would squeek no matter how fast or slow I pushed in the clutch. I wondered where you should put the oil on it to make it stop squeeking or if maybe that was a bad idea. Can you believe so much thought is involved in such a small and irritating thing?! Me either. But try as I might I could not let go of that irritated feeling.

All of this reminded me of other things that squeek and also irritate and/or annoy me. I also thought I’d see what squeeky things irritate you all. I’ll start the list

Shoes - I hate it when shoes squeek. People can hear you coming.

Chairs - Right now my work chair squeeks everytime I shift my weight.

Doors - As a former locksmith, a squeeking door drives me nuts. Fortunately only one of my car doors is in need of some oil at the moment.

How about you?

Posted in issues | Tagged squeek | 8 Comments »

A New Kind of Greeting Card
December 3, 2007
On Saturday before the party Bill and I went out to do errands. On his list was to pick up a birthday card for his dad, a gift for dad and a christmas gift for his sister-in-law.

Just so that you understand, Bill barely gets along with his dad and still is resentful about how he was treated by him growing up. He also isn’t crazy about his sister-in-law and I’ll have to say that I’m not too crazy about her either. But, family relations dictate that a certain minimum of civility be practised.

We went to a couple of stores before he found something generic enough to give his dad. I was really annoyed with the selection of cards too. Maybe my world is not remotely normal, because if I had to take my cues from the cards we went through all dad’s are princes of men. Always there, always providing material and emotional support, wonderful people.

Hello?!

I think there should be a birthday card for fathers that reads …….. “Happy Birthday to the guy who fathered me”. Inside the card it would say “Although you failed miserably I’m sure you will come whining to me now that you’re older and needy” Put it on nice paper with pretty pictures so that despite the blunt honesty it looks presentable.

Do you ever get the idea that the people who write for cards are doing some really good drugs?

all of these are from http://uniquelymoronic.wordpress.com/

LOL heart