[Sentence from In the End by Linkin Park.]
Im not kidding...All my memories...And used to be future memories...Are no longer in my reach. My friends...The only thing that keeps me sustained in life...Are not here anymore...I feel isolated in a never ending nothingness of misery. Its cold, to where I become numb, and I dont know why...But no matter how hard I try to make my new life work for me, it just doesnt work.
Mom says I should make friends...But to here, friends are just people you talk to. But to me, there a way of life. My key to survivle. It took me SIX YEARS to find the friends that will be by my side for life. And now that Im in highschool, and there is only 4 years of HS [In my school] I dont have 6 years...Im limited to 2 years now. If I were brave enough, I would take the challenge but Im too weak now. Although I promised myself that I would be broken again by the horriable desigion my mom made, yet it happened. Unless I have my friends by my side...I dont think I can be the Moe that everyone knows...
As of sunday, my girlfriend Kitsunes Fire, broke up with me [Temporarly I think.] because we live to far apart. It puts strain on her knowing that she cant see me everyday like we used to...I am not mad at her, but I feel that its my fault that she broke up with me in the first place. Everybody knows how hard I am trying to convince my mom to let me move back to Ct, I WOULD DEMOTE MYSELF TO LIVING IN A BOX THAT BE ALONE! But she wont let me. She says life is better down here. Maybe to her but not to me. The only option I can think of, is suicide...But if I do that...I wouldnt go back...I would go farther away ten everybody else. Being put into a deeper seclusion and just watch everyone have a great time with there lives...
Everytime one of my friends call me [Which is rare these days.] There all having fun with each other. Laughing, having fun and so much more. I would tell them that what there doing is not helping me, but hurting me deeply. So now...I dont answer my phone anymore...The only time I want to talk to one of my friends is in person...One more of those calls...And I might not make it to this summer...I just really cant...
Im not kidding...All my memories...And used to be future memories...Are no longer in my reach. My friends...The only thing that keeps me sustained in life...Are not here anymore...I feel isolated in a never ending nothingness of misery. Its cold, to where I become numb, and I dont know why...But no matter how hard I try to make my new life work for me, it just doesnt work.
Mom says I should make friends...But to here, friends are just people you talk to. But to me, there a way of life. My key to survivle. It took me SIX YEARS to find the friends that will be by my side for life. And now that Im in highschool, and there is only 4 years of HS [In my school] I dont have 6 years...Im limited to 2 years now. If I were brave enough, I would take the challenge but Im too weak now. Although I promised myself that I would be broken again by the horriable desigion my mom made, yet it happened. Unless I have my friends by my side...I dont think I can be the Moe that everyone knows...
As of sunday, my girlfriend Kitsunes Fire, broke up with me [Temporarly I think.] because we live to far apart. It puts strain on her knowing that she cant see me everyday like we used to...I am not mad at her, but I feel that its my fault that she broke up with me in the first place. Everybody knows how hard I am trying to convince my mom to let me move back to Ct, I WOULD DEMOTE MYSELF TO LIVING IN A BOX THAT BE ALONE! But she wont let me. She says life is better down here. Maybe to her but not to me. The only option I can think of, is suicide...But if I do that...I wouldnt go back...I would go farther away ten everybody else. Being put into a deeper seclusion and just watch everyone have a great time with there lives...
Everytime one of my friends call me [Which is rare these days.] There all having fun with each other. Laughing, having fun and so much more. I would tell them that what there doing is not helping me, but hurting me deeply. So now...I dont answer my phone anymore...The only time I want to talk to one of my friends is in person...One more of those calls...And I might not make it to this summer...I just really cant...
