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I think I am getting sick. Indian food should clear all that up, if I go today that is.
Even so, it was still a slap in my face. How can I view you two as friends, when its so god damned easy to see that you two are together? The intent might have been innocent enough, but I see things differently.
If you are ever going to send anything to this address again. Don't even PUT your name. You know, like your family did whenever they'd send stuff to my address.
The truth in the matter is, I personally don't like you two. I can tolerate you, but I do not like. I'm sorry, I really am. But I cannot let myself like you two. Maybe in the future. But not right now.
Honestly, how can I like the person who ruined my life? And the other person that took my life from me? You two are sitting there having what I desperately want and need right now. You have someone that cares for you, while I have to fight with the stupid pain of having no one to go to when I'm about to break down.
You haven't expirenced that feeling of being alone - don't give me the crap that you've been alone for 16 years before me. That doesn't count. You jumped from me, to her. No breathing room in between. So you will never expirence that pain, unless she dumps you on your a**. Like I should have a year ago.
I should have been the one to end it. But you know what, I cared about where you were going to go more than getting rid of you. Don't even start with all the fights we had. You obviously didn't know me as much as you thought you did. Just as I obviously underestimated you.
I worked so hard to try and mend things in my life. I guess I wasn't as strong as I thought I was, since a stupid name on a package undid most of what I tried to create.
Stop opening up my wounds, dammit. I want to forget you, everything about you. If I could, I'd get rid of all the times we spent together, and get rid of the times where I supposedly raped your ******** a**. I hate everything you stood for in my life. It was a false sense of security, and you pulled me down instead of lifted me up.
I know that you are not fully to blame for everything. But you ruined a lot. I hope you ruin Pam's life in the future. You're probably thinking "I'LL NEVER HURT HER LIKE I DID YOU, NEVER EVER EVER"
Promises change, dear. They always do.
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