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Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of one of our own.

La vie Boheme.

But first the background.

My mother left early today, missing Solo and Ensemble Fest. to return to Pittsburgh. Pap Pap was dying.

It's funny, "Pap Pap". I have never called him that in public before.

Why?

Because I was ashamed. It is an unusual name for a Grandfather. I have never called him Grandfather, or even Grandpa- always Pap Pap to his face. I was far too afraid of hurting my own selfish image.

I regret that now.

He's gone now, we got a call about forty-five minutes ago.

I spent the next half an hour in a bath tub. Overly distraught? No.

Sad? Yes.

I was planning on taking a bath from the beginning. However this time, I lit candles.

And I sat. As still as I could. The water calmed, the ripples ceased, and I could see.

I could see the individual candle lights, the fish statue by my parent's tub, the facet, the tiles.

The light.

I sat that way for a while. Soon the water began to rise and fall with my breaths. Oddly calming.

And so I've been.

An ending to be expected with a day like today.

Ecco quel fiero istante.

I've done a lot of thinking today. I'm thunk out.

I will be leaving soon. Tomorrow most likely. Morning. Early. No rest for the weary.

No sleep this weekend. No rest.

Rest well Pap Pap.

Dobre nus.