I am a complete and total emotional wreck.
Sometimes I wonder if there is something seriously wrong with me. Something on such a deep level, that I have just learned to ignore and suppress through out the years. Something that's buried so deep now, I don't even know what it's triggered by.
I can be perfectly happy and content one moment and then a split second later, I'm either angry or so upset that it takes more will power than I possess to calm myself down.
I have no idea how anyone could be happy spending an extended period of time with me. I must be so confusing, unpredictable, and emotional draining for my friends and loved ones.
I wish that I had better control over my emotions. I don't want to be that obnoxious girl that is laughing one minute and then sobbing the next. (even though I think that's exactly what I'm becoming)
I never originally thought that there could be something "wrong with me" but I'm beginning to lean that way more and more. I'm not the type of person that's going to take a pill and wait for it to be all better, and I'm not the type of person that's going to subject myself to testing.
I just want to figure this thing out of my own head.
The problem is...I don't know if I can.
 Ryuuri · Wed Apr 06, 2005 @ 03:05pm · 2 Comments |
Kaigen is my guardian lover