• “I’ll call you tonight, around six, okay?”

    I stared at the phone with a growing sense of irritation. He said he’d call, but it’s almost midnight. For a moment, I almost wanted to believe he forgot. He’s got a good memory though; it’s more likely he just didn’t feel like calling. I frowned, my eyes still glued to the phone, hating that even now I wanted to believe it would ring.

    I thought of the day I’d first seen him, buying a book at the store I worked at. Sure, I’d been attracted to him right away, but he showed no interest then either. He was never affectionate in public; I embarrassed him.

    And why shouldn’t it be embarrassing to be seen with another man?

    But when I was near him, gender didn’t seem to matter as much. People may stare but I hardly noticed when I was near him, his was the only face I looked at, that mattered. But he seldom glances my way until we’re hidden from view.

    If the mere sight of him didn’t send such a reaction through me, I would never tolerate someone like him. I sighed, permitting the deep yearning I’d been suppressing roll over me. Someday, I told myself, I’ll kill that b*****d.

    Tadashi, why do you have to be so infuriatingly addictive?

    How long had it been since I’d felt this way? Though I’d been in relationships before, ones much simpler than this, none seemed as real. Tadashi is the only one with the power to affect me so drastically. It hurt to know that he couldn’t say the same about me.

    Through sheer determination, I willed my eyes away from the phone. I turned my head, letting my gaze skim my apartment casually before looking out the window behind me; the night sky returned my stare with a blankness that matched my heart. Why can’t he just pick up a phone already?

    So many times, I waited for his calls, afraid to call him and have someone else answer. I’m almost certain he’s not loyal to me. His pride never accepted the idea of him and I being together.

    But we were together. There were times, when we were away from the prejudice and discrimination of society, when he held me so tenderly in his arms; when his eyes were filled with a passion I couldn’t entirely grasp. Those were what kept me from commenting on his behaviour on other occasions. I didn’t want his eyes to lose their passion.

    I didn’t want to lose him.



    The sound of the phone ringing startled me out of a sleep I didn’t remember falling into. Almost instinctively, I reached for the phone and answered it on the second ring.

    “Tadashi, it’s about time−”

    “−Raz.” The voice on the other line interrupted me, the sound of it made my heart stop. It wasn’t Tadashi. “There’s been an accident…”

    I felt a sinking sensation in my chest, tell me this is a dream. The voice continued talking, unbeknownst to my rising panic. Though it sounded as if from a distance, I managed to catch fragments of sentences, on his way home... tried to take his phone... Tadashi...

    Tadashi...

    The phone slipped out of my hand, I watched it fall to the floor with a blank expression. Tadashi, you promised you’d call…