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Tsuyaru's Journal; eternity
Tsuyaru's Journal
eternity
part one


It's been quite a while since I started traveling with Sesshoumaru, Jaken and Rin, but I've never felt so much at home than when I'm traveling with them. Kohaku has also been with us for a short time now as well.
The other day, Sesshoumaru learned that his Tenseiga was cast off from Tetsusaiga in order to cast off the Meido Zangetsuha attack so that one day the Tetsusaiga, in Inuyasha's hands, would reacquire the technique. Sesshoumaru was very displeased and I don't think he really understood what his father had intended for his sons by doing this. In fact, Sesshoumaru believed that the purpose of this meant that he would have to defeat his half brother in order to master both swords and the Meido Zangetsuha attack.
We were just coming out of the woods into some marshland when I began trying to convince Sesshoumaru to rethink his conclusion and not try to kill his brother over the swords...

"Sesshoumaru, please, I know you think that you have to defeat your brother, but I don't believe that's what your father had intended. I didn't know him in person, but I've seen all of the things that he has taught you recently, even though he's been gone a long time. I don't believe that he intended for you and your brother to fight each other over the swords, let alone kill each other for them."

Sesshoumaru stopped walking and turned his head my direction slightly and paused a moment. Then Jaken began to scold me, though I payed no attention.

Jaken - "How dare you speak to lord Sesshoumaru like that, foolish girl. Nobody lectures Sesshoumaru on what to do!"

Sesshoumaru turns towards me and begins backing me into the forest. I'm not scared, but I continue to back up until I am backed up to a large tree. Jaken, Rin and Kohaku are still outside of the forest and they can't see us, though I can hear Jaken rambling on in the background.

Jaken - "Foolish girl. Now she's gonna get it. No one scolds Sesshoumaru and gets away with it!"

Rin - "But Jaken, Sesshoumaru wouldn't hurt her."

Kohaku - "Do you think maybe they love each other?"

Jaken - "Nonesense! Sesshoumaru would never love a human woman."
........
Back in the forest....
Sesshoumaru walked up to me calmly and gently took a lock of my hair in his hand and seemed to lend his concentration to the texture of my hair rather than the words that I was speaking to him.

Tsuyaru - "Sesshoumaru... regardless of my past feelings for Inuyasha, I still don't think that Inuyasha deserves to die. And I don't want you to kill him... especially not over a sword."

Sesshoumaru lifts his gaze towards my eyes and speaks in a calm but perhaps slightly disappointed tone. "Do you not have any faith in me?"

Tsuyaru - "I... of course I do... I just don't want you to hurt Inuyasha..."

Sesshoumaru lowers his gaze towards my hair in his hand again. Then Kohaku walks in sight.

Kohaku - "Lord Sesshoumaru?"

And with that, Sesshoumaru turns and begins to leave the forest again. I still stand against the tree until he stops and turns his head my way slightly, looking from the corners of his eyes as if to ask me if I was coming. Though, he didn't say a word, I continued to follow.
....................

A couple days later, Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha clashed swords as Sesshoumaru asked Inuyasha to prove that he is the true heir to Tetsusaiga. I was afraid that Sesshoumaru might not have listened to my request, or that he would attempt to kill Inuyasha over the sword anyway. Much to my relief, Inuyasha did prove himself, and Sesshoumaru willingly gave the Meido Zangetsuha technique to Inuyasha and Tetsusaiga. And though the Tenseiga broke in order to relinquish the powerful technique and also disperse the control that Naraku held over the Tenseiga for the short time, after the battle was over and Sesshoumaru had also proven himself to have surpassed his father by overcoming his obsession with his father's sword, the Tenseiga fell to the ground as a whole and was no longer a broken sword, but the sword that can not cut. Sesshoumaru refused to take the sword back, but Rin and I took the sword as we left and agreed to give it back to Sesshoumaru when he was in a better mood.
.................
I don't remember exactly if it was a few days later or that evening, heh, the days kinda fell together a little bit, but anyway...
it was getting late and Kohaku went to gather firewood while Rin and Jaken went to the nearby river to catch some fish for dinner. I opted to stay with Sesshoumaru in the meanwhile.

Sesshoumaru - "Aren't you going to get something to eat?" Sesshoumaru asked as we stopped to camp where we were in another wooded area.

Tsuyaru - "No. I had a bunch of berries earlier. I'm not very hungry." I replied. Of course, this wasn't my real reason for not following Rin, but I needed a chance to talk to Sesshoumaru alone.

Sesshoumaru sat down against a tree before asking an odd question...

Sesshoumaru - "Why do you follow me?" he asked as he turned his head my way.

Tsuyaru - "... Why does Rin, Jaken and Kohaku follow you?" I asked in response.

Sesshoumaru looked away again knowing that his question made little sense considering that we all follow him simply because we desire to be with him, but still wondering what my response could be.

Knowing that he wasn't going to pursue the question further, I walked over and stood in front of him for a moment and then dropped to my knees right in front of him, put my arms over his shoulders and looked him in the eyes as I responded once more...

Tsuyaru - "I'm with you because I want to be."

There was a quiet pause for a moment before he turned his focus to my hair, like before. Then he put his had softly on the side of my face. My heart was pounding. He looked me in the eyes again. I could feel his breath.....

"Tsuyaru! I cought you some fish!" Rin shouted as her, Jaken and Kohaku returned.

I immediately turned away from them and practically broke my back as I half fell over backwards. Sesshoumaru and I both had to hold back a grin as Rin asks what's wrong.
(I know, I know, most wouldn't think of Sesshoumaru with a sense of humor, but with that I must say... that's because you don't know him like I do! It's a natural ability I have, so don't take it personal. I just understand him more than most.)

"*cough cough* I wasn't feeling well and thought I had fever. Thank you very much Rin, for catching some fish for me." I answered to Rin.

And with that, and after that slightly awkward situation, we had supper and sat by the fire for a while.

Rin - "Tsuyaru...?"

Tsuyaru - "hm?"

Rin - "I'm glad to have met you." Rin continued. "Since my parents died, you've been the closest thing to a mom to me."

Tsuyaru - "Aww. Rin, I've never had children, but if I had to choose from a thousand little girls, I'd still pick you. You are such a wonderful little girl."

(This moment still puts a smile in my heart. Rin is family to me whether treated as a younger sister or a daughter.)

Tsuyaru - "Say, Rin. How would you like it if we went to the city in the modern era for a day?"

Rin - "I thought only Inuyasha and Kagome could go through the well?"

Tsuyaru - "haha, and how do you think I got here?" "There's only one way to find out, isn't there."

Rin - "heehe, that sounds wonderful"

Tsuyaru - "Sesshoumaru?" I ask as I turn towards Sesshoumaru as he still sits against the tree.

He looks through the corners of his eyes like he does "hm?".

Tsuyaru - "Would it be alright if Rin and I go to the modern era for a little girl time?"

Sesshoumaru - "Do as you wish."

Then Rin and I giggle with excitement.

And with that, we went to sleep.
...................................

The next morning we stopped in at Kaede's village as we headed to the well.

Kaede - "Oh, Rin, Tsuyaru, what are you doing here?" Kaede asks curiously.

Rin - "Heehe, we're going to Kagome's time!" Rin exclaimed excitedly.

Kaede - "Oh?"

Tsuyaru - "Rin and I are going to take a little girl time to ourselves." I added.

Kaede - "I see." Kaede chuckles quietly. "Have a good time then." she adds.

Tsuyaru - "We will. And Kaede, I'll see if I can find something to bring back for you."

Kaede - "Oh, thank you child."

With that, we continued for the well. Though, we almost forgot Jaken was with us until he started to complain.

Jaken - "I can't believe lord Sesshoumaru would make me sit here at this well while you two go have fun." Jaken said disappointedly.

Then Rin and I jumped into the well.
Once on the other side, I lifted Rin so that she could get out of the well, and then she lent me her hand to help me out as well. We walked out of the shrine, but only got a few steps before Kagome's mom notices us and said hi as she was sweeping the ground near the house.

Tsuyaru - "Oh, hi Mrs. Higurashi!" I said as Rin and I walked over to her.

Mrs. Higurashi - "What are you doing here Tsuyaru? And who is this?"

Tsuyaru - "This is Rin. Rin and I came here for sort of a girls day."

Mrs. Higurashi - "hmhm, I see" she replied kindly.

Tsuyaru - "Mrs. Higurashi, I wouldn't normally ask this, but seeing as how modern money doesn't have value in the feudal era, and considering I don't have any anyway, I was wondering if I could borrow a little money for today?"

Mrs. Higurashi - "Of course!" she responded and then led Rin and I into the house so she could get some money out of her purse.

Mrs. Higurashi - "Here, take this." she says as she hands me some money.

Tsuyaru - "!?" "... This is too much!" I exclaim as I see how much money Mrs. Higurashi gave me.

Mrs. Higurashi - "Take it, I don't mind. Have fun!"

Then Rin and I giggle to each other excitedly and head out the door.
When we stepped outside and got down to the sidewalk, a taxi whipped past us and Rin shrieked "!?!?"

Tsuyaru - "Rin, it's alright. That was just a car."

Rin - "This world sure is different."

Tsuyaru - "Tell me about it. I can understand why Kagome enjoys coming back once in a while, but I still prefer the feudal era. It's so peaceful..." "well, usually anyway haha.".

The first thing we did while in the modern city, was we went to the store to buy some sandals. Rin laughed and said that they were so lightweight. Then we bought some nice smelling soaps and headed back to Kagome's house.

On our way back, Rin asked "Tsuyaru?"

Tsuyaru - "Hm?"

Rin - "Are you and Sesshoumaru in love with each other?"

Tsuyaru - "Why do you ask?"

Rin - "Well, Kohaku suggested that you and Sesshoumaru might love each other. But Jaken says that Sesshoumaru would never love any human."

Tsuyaru - "I see." I respond and then continue... "Rin, if Sesshoumaru didn't care for us, would he have Jaken sit by the well to wait for us?"

Rin - "You're right."

Tsuyaru - "Mhm, see. Anyway, we'll talk about this later."

Rin - "Okay."

Tsuyaru - "Now, let's get back to Kagome's house and get cleaned up... heh, I guess we probably should have done that first, but oh-well, we needed some nice soaps anyway" I laughed as we walked.

Rin - "Then what are we going to do?" Rin asked.

Tsuyaru - "I have a few ideas. But first, lets get cleaned up."

So when we got back to Kagome's house, we both hopped into a nice hot bubble bath with our sweet flower scented soap. It felt so good to finally get a hot bath. Rin was playing in the bubbles and I told her not to get soap in her eyes, but if she does, to rinse her eyes with water. "Heehee," she giggled "I already did get it in my eyes, but don't worry, I rinsed it out."
After a little bubble fight, we rinsed off and I threw a big towel over her head.

Rin - "Heehee" she giggled and laughed some more.

Tsuyaru - "Oh, Rin, I got something else while we were at the store." I said as I took a brand new hairbrush out of my bag next to the door. "Now we can brush all these awful tangles out of our hair." I said as I started brushing her hair.

Afterwords, we headed out again. Our next stop, the mall! Every girl's favorite shopping place.
While we were there, we stopped in at the photo booth.

Tsuyaru - "Hey! Let's take some pictures for Sesshoumaru!"

Rin - "Heehe," she giggled "Alright!"

So we went into the photo booth and made funny faces. Some of the pictures we looked prim and proper, others were all goofy. In one of my favorite pictures, Rin and I wrote on a little sign that said "We love you Sesshoumaru!" and held it in the picture.

Tsuyaru - "There's one more place I wanna go while we're here."

Rin - "Where?" Rin asked.

Tsuyaru - "You'll see." I replied as we headed for a jewelry store.

Jeweler - "Hello, how may I help you today?" the jeweler asked us when we walked up to the counter.

Tsuyaru - "I like the silver one, but it's missing something. The gold is good, but I don't like all gold either."

Rin - "What about this one?" Rin asks as she points to a gold and silver locket.

Tsuyaru - "It's beautiful, Rin." "We'll take this one." I said to the jeweler as I handed her the money and copies of the pictures that Rin and I had taken earlier.

Rin - "Do you think Sesshoumaru will wear it?" Rin asks me curiously.

Tsuyaru - "I'm sure he will!" I reply confidently.

Jeweler - "Here you go." The jeweler kindly said as she handed me the locket.

Rin - "Can I see?"

Tsuyaru - "Of course." I respond as I hand her the locket.

Rin - "Tsuyaru, there's still room for more pictures?" Rin says curiously.

Tsuyaru - "Mhm, Those are for Sesshoumaru and Jaken." I responded "I also got a camera that instantly develops the photos so that we can add pictures of them ourselves."

After a little more shopping, we decide to head back to Kagome's house.
On the way, I bring up the conversation that Rin brought up earlier.

Tsuyaru - "Rin."

Rin - "Hm?

Tsuyaru - "Remember what you asked me earlier today?"

Rin - "About you and lord Sesshoumaru?"

Tsuyaru - "Mhm."

Rin - "Yeah."

Tsuyaru - "I do care for him."

Rin - "Does he care for you too?"

Tsuyaru - "I don't know. I would like to hope so." ... "He won't admit to caring for a human though. I think he lies to himself, but I understand why." I remark. "Rin, keep this between you and me, okay?" I also add.

Rin - "Okay." she responds. "Why do you think he would lie to himself? Is that possible?"

Tsuyaru - "Mm, yes. See, if he were to admit to caring about a human, he would also have to admit to the possibility of being hurt and he would have to take responsibility if we were to get hurt." I continue... "It's not that he doesn't already take responsibility, but his pride won't let him admit to it." ... "It might sound odd, but I wouldn't want to change that... his pride I mean." ... "He's a powerful demon after all. He deserves some pride."

Rin - "Mhm, I guess you could be right."

Tsuyaru - "... ... ... I just wish he would take pride in us, too..."


To Be Continued




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