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GODDAMN!!! I'm so damn bored right now!! I WANT TO SHOOT YOU ALL AS A NINJA MONKEY!!! God... I hate school. Me and Devon are "friends"... but I'm still not content with life... I also find it quite annoying, since I like having close friends... and I wouldn't consider him one of them. So I don't even think I can ever really consider him a friend, anyway(as much as I'd like for us to be friends). And My computer ish ******** up badly right now!! XD I'm just listening to some Jpop and Jrock... CHILD PREY WOOT!! That song never gets boring for me!! XDD PLAY IT SAFE PLAY IT SAFE PLAY IT SAFE PLAY IT SAFE PLAY IT SAFE PLAY IT SAFE YES, KID! PLAY IT SAFE!! whoooa~! kiss me deadly! kiss me kill me love me! kiss me, kill me LOVE ME!! XDD I likes!! Hm... I really want to be explosively happy right now!! But just everything hurts and I'm freakin' fed up with life!! ZOMIGOSH THERE'S A HOLE IN MY THROAT!! :333 i think...?? XDD Ugh... I'm tired of this crap!! >.< how in the hell am i going to survive three more years of highschool?!?! Torture... and not the Sexually pleasing kind... XDD *dances randomly* XD the bees attacked me... LOVINGLY!!! XD haha!! Yeah... I don't think I'll ever love again perhaps... I just don't feel anything nowadays cept annoyance, sadness, boredom, lonlieness, and crappy feelings that I wish would go ******** themselves... though i know that that's quite impossible O_O....GRRRR.... THIS PISSES ME OFF MAJORLY!! *pulls out hair and screams* I also feel distant from everyone else!! It's like they're in a little bubble of bliss, and I'm on the outside... unable to penetrate whatever layer is impermeable and won't let me pass through... in order to feel and know what happiness they may be feeling... OOOOHHH!! I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS~! MY LIFE HAS BEEN TOTALLY RUINED!! I JUST WANNA KILL SOMEBODY!! Or maybe I'm just exaggerating things... or overreacting... but i just don't know!! I wish I could sleep forever~~ Well, there are many things that I wish for... but I know that I can't have any of them xDD AWWW~!! TARE PANDA ISH SO CUTE!! XDDD *giggles* aw crap... my tummy feels all sick inside... ugh... FECKING HELL, HOLY s**t, WTF... Well, I'll add much more to this entry later...but right now, I just don't have the time!! crying maybe I should go to sleep for a little while or something... anything... *sighs* Maybe summer will be better... I can't even love the bishies!! THE BISHIES!!! *waves arms* They are like, everything!!! *screams* And I hate gym class with a burning passion now... I just don't feel like running or doing anything and me and kitty aren't doing the same sport!!! I really need something new to love also!!! I used to have Envy... but i really can't bring myself to love him again, no matter how much I really want to... *sighs* I like being addicted to things... Well, except for ONE thing... that i totally regret ever being addicted to now... well, PERSON, i should say... XD haha, THING.... Maybe I should download/buy more anime and manga... but i dunno... I've tried many things to make me happy again... but who knows, maybe time will do it... XOOO BUT I DON'T WANT TO WAIT FREAKIN' FOREVER TO FEEL HAPPY AGAIN!! THIS IS THE AGE IN WHICH INSTANT HAPPINESS IS IN HIGH DEMAND!!! x333 *squee* Tare panda ish just too damn adorable~~ I think I should start to collect the stuff... X333 i feel like wearing my hair up with chopsticks all of a sudden!! *squeals* I have wierd mood swings... and I want to wear pink outfits, whorish outfits, normal outfits, dark outfits, or whatever.... XDD and do crazy things~!!! *waves arms* well, so yeah im off for now, tata!! XDDD i'll write more... to this entry... cus i believe it's lacking SOMETHING!!!
Ok~!! heart heart heart I'm back from a most lovely nap!!! I forget a lot of things when I'm sleeping... or sometimes i accidentally remember them because they're in my dreams!! THAT'S THE BAD THING!! Well, I woke from my nap because of a call from Devon...and he asked one strange question and one other question that i was a little reluctant in answering... but i did so nevertheless... I don't really care if he knows such things... I can't help crying at times... *sighs* Wow... talking to old old friends from like.. 5th grade is wierd and FUNNY... ugh... I feel like a dog that needs to be put down... well, maybe not that bad... I don't know... I just feel like crap... AND I JUST WANT TO FECKING RIP MY HEART FROM INSIDE OF MY CHEST!! AND IF I HAVE A SECOND STILL LEFT TO MY LIFE AFTER DOING SO, I WILL EAT IT... and then die, of course~!! XDDD... IT JUST HURTS AND I WANT IT TO END... BUT HELLZ NO I DON'T WANT TO BE EMO... I'm just really sad... oooh... is happiness... just too much to ask for?? *sighs* YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M JUST A BIG IDIOT!! I PROBABLY DESERVE THIS!!! hah... to think I could ever be loved or feel good inside... I wonder... when WILL I feel better, if ever?? I hope it's soon... I really do... And I can't really forget anything right now... which totally sucks... I wonder what I should do... *shouts* NABE NABE NABE!!! (ahaha, it's funny to say out loud) but meh... I NEED TO MOVE ON!!! I NEED TO CHEER THE HELL UP!!! I NEED TO LIFT MYSELF FROM THESE DEPTHS AND THINK ABOUT THINGS OTHER THAN DEVON!!!.....................................................................................................................................................................................Though, this is more easilly said, than done... NOES!!! I'VE BEEN RUINED!!! *sobs* crying crying crying !!! Well, off to eat something now... perhaps it will make me feel better!!! Though I know that eating only give me a temporary happiness... I can't keep eating though!! It's terrible to eat in your depression!!! GOSHERZ!! OH YEAH!!! I'm going to the orthadontist... or however it's spelt... tomorrow!!! I wonder if I should change the purple to a different color... I'm kinda glad that I'm going because my braces have been bothering me like HELL... the end metal thing on my molars keeps pulling at the side of my cheek and the wire that goes through the brackets sometimes goes under and pushes the teeth and it hurts like hell then... *le sighs*Well~!! Spaghetti tastes good, i must say!! X333 *giggles* oh hell... *screams silently*my computer still wont allow me to do anything! Yeah... I should create a line of indecent avis!!! XDD Explosive Fun Girl is a WHORE avi.... Fizzy Soda Girl is a porn star avi?? and maybe i could create a pimp avi... haha XDD ExplosiveFunGirl is feeling awfully sad and lonely... and heartbroken!! Perhaps I should create a male avi to marry her to... and then create a story about them~!! XDD It could be fun!! heart heart
Power to Power the law of the land, those living for death will die by their own hand... life's no ordeal till you come to terms rejecting the system dictating the norms ... **And if rain brings winds of change, let it rain on us forever, i have no doubts from what I've seen that I have never wanted more... with this line i mark the past as a symbol of beginning I have no doubts from what I've seen I have never wanted more... ** crying crying And... things happen... Hm... I have two songs titled "Stay with me"... one by someone and another by Celldweller... the other one by the unknown artist is pretty scary... and saddening... It's a strange kinda electronica... and in the background, you hear a machine-like "stay... with ... me... stay with me." It's kinda eery... but I like it. I think I'm a rather sick person a times... perhaps it IS wrong to eat babies and think thoughts unfit for a young lad such as myself... NOOO!! THREE OF MY NAILS!! *WAILS* I BROKE THREE OF MY BEST NAILS!! THEY WERE SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVED THEM !!! NOOOES!! EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS GOING WRONG FOR ME!!! *sniffles* cry cry cry *smiles* They say it's good to smile to yourself, even though you can be sad and stuff... stressed stressed But it doesn't help me at all!!! I have nothing to smile about, anyway!! This journal entry... is not... long enough!! GOD DAMN YOU!!! ok... I just feel like swearing now... XD swearing lots!!! YOU ******** GAY a** SUNUVA FREAKIN b***h s**t HEAD IDIOTIC a** PONY ... and... i dont feel like swearing anymore!! it's not a nice thing to do!! Destroy everything you touch, today... destroy me this way ... anything that may desert you so it cannot hurt you you only have to look behind you at whose undermined you destroy everything you touch today destroy me this way EVERYTHING YOU TOUCH you dont feel, do not know... what you steal... shakes your hand, takes your gun, wants you out of the sun... watch you teach , you dont feel... do not know what you steal... destroy everything you touch... today... Please destroy me this way.
I really like that song... i once used it in an Envy amv thing that I made... it matched pretty well! It's still one of my favorite songs... along with Am I 2 Blame? and some other ones... hehe... OH NOES WHO DROPPED TEH DAMN COOKIE ZOMFG!!! hehe... typing in caps like that makes it a little bit better... *sighs* Wow, i feel like such a geek now... i've logged on to a site that i havent been on for a year or so and im chatting up a storm with people about books versus manga and television and RADIO... for some reason... Hm... DAMMIT... I'm reminded of the call... I don't know if it had an air of gentility to it... or something... *sighs* who knows... AHAHAH... KICK HIS BA**S IN--- OMIGOD!!! *laughs uncontrollably* Well, it wouldn't be good if it were to actually happen... and it's not a nice thought... nor is it a nice thing to do!! But still... it's quite funny, if you really think about it!! XDDD O_O crap, im thinking bad images... *wipes it out... wipes it out...* Well, I'm off now... for the night... I want to dream right now and feel better... I'm tired of feeling both weak and depressed... it doesn't suit me, i believe... SO!!! Nighty Night everyone~! And sweet dreams!! OYASUMI NASAI!!! 4laugh 4laugh 4laugh heart heart heart (is that enough smilies?)
 ExplosiveFunGirl · Tue May 01, 2007 @ 09:48pm · 0 Comments |
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