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Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
While handling guns in the hunting department,
suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
Act as spastic as possible.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible".
While walking around alone,
pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation.
Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying
"How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me!
I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won.
You kissed ME darling."
Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,
assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!".
Hold indoor shopping cart races.
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming!".
Attempt to fit into large gym bags.
Attempt to fit others into large gym bags.
Get boxes of Condoms, and randomly put them in peoples carts when they're not looking.
Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.
Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls.
Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes,
then leave them lying somewhere.
Hide in the clothing racks,
and shout things like "pick me!" when people stop to look at clothes.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?".
Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
Take bets on the battle described above.
Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together,
and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!".
Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone,
"I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner,
look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic".
Set up a tent in the camping department;
tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come, Robin! To the Batcave!".
Put M&M's on layaway.
Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head,
and walk around the store casually.
When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
"Why won't you people just leave me alone?".
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
Make up nonsense products,
and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock.
Ex: "Do you have any Shnerples here?".
Go into a dressing room. Sit there for a few minutes,
and then shout "theres no toilet paper in here!".
Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World After All" constantly.
Hide in one of the clothes racks and suddenly jump out at random people,
whilst chanting a Native American rain dance chant.
Yell "Heads up" and see if anyone ducks.
 Ophrysia · Fri Dec 29, 2006 @ 01:39am · 0 Comments |
