Sometimes, if I'm feeling really sad, I like to write letters to people, even if they never see them, and even if I never have the courage to show it to them. This one's for my Granny.
Dear Granny,
It's been 5 months today since you passed away. I've been crying a lot for the past couple of days because I really wish I could see you, I wish you could hold me again like you used to. I could tell when you looked at me that you loved me so much and that's how much I loved you too. I still do. I will never meet another woman who was as gentle, kind, and loving as you. You were the best grandmother anyone ever could have asked for. It was so sad to see you go. You faded away from us. At first your memory was just a little fuzzy but in the end you didn't even know who anyone was. But you always knew me. The first time we visited you in the hospital, the first person you asked for was for me. You slipped your ring on my pinky finger. I wear it every day and I probably will for the rest of my life. It reminds me what an amazing person you were and how lucky I was to have you in my life. I wish you didn't suffer as much as you did. I wish the cancer didn't take over your body and mind. I wish the world could have had you in it for much longer, because it would have been a sweeter place. You brought so much joy to anyone who ever met you, because you had such a motherly instinct that made people feel like they were home. I miss you and there's not a day that has gone by that I didn't look at my life now and realize how different it is without you. Even not seeing your name on our caller ID feels weird. I used to love sending you poems so you could stick them on your fridge. It made me feel so special to see my name right there on that paper, hung up in your home. I want you to know that I still write poems for you Granny, even if you're not here to read them. As a matter of fact, you were buried with one of my poems. I hope you took it with you to Heaven and read it. You already knew every word that was in it-how much I'd loved you and how much I'd miss you. Even though life isn't the same for everyone down here, I know how happy you are in Heaven. Knowing that makes me feel better. You don't need oxygen to breathe in Heaven, and cancer is nothing but a 6-letter word. You're reunited with everyone that you lost in life. And you're looking down on me, my guardian angel, protecting me from all things bad. Before you passed away, I never pictured God as a man. I saw him as a ghostly spirit, almighty in the clouds. But now I see him as a man, I see him looking at you with loving eyes and wide open arms. Sometimes I am sincerely convinced that the only reason God took you from us 5 months ago is because he simply needed another angel. heart
Love, Molly
 yay_its_molly · Sun Dec 11, 2011 @ 04:10am · 0 Comments |
