Last night I cried. For the first time in almost 2 years, I cried about her. The last time was at the memorial. It's the little things that can bring back the memories.
I remember laying in bed and thinking about Story idea. An abusive father, hospitals, tender loving staying by the bedside. I guess I let my mind wander too much because next thing I know, Flash backs of the dream I had came in my mind. The face flying out through the windshield, flying right at me. Watching helpless. Then my eyes ran. I had to go to my mum's room and I slept with her the rest of the night after another 10 minutes of crying.
It's funny how it's the little things like words that can trigger memories. I wasn't even there the day she died, But yet the dream was like I was standing right there. Her face coming toward me then phasing through my body.
Almost 2 years have passed since the day I lost my sister and yet I still haven't gotten over her death. It's hard to imagine that someone could be there, and then the next minute they're gone. In the blink of an eye. The skip of a heart beat. The Pause of a second that seems to last eternity.
Life goes on. People say "She wouldn't want you to mope" But How do they really know. I know I don't want to mope, and I know that she is with me forever. My heart was wounded the day she died as was our family's, but I know that over time the wound will begin to heal and soon it will be a mere scar, but it will forever be there. We'll always remember those we lose, but time has a way of helping us move on with our lives. If we give into it, one day we'll heal. We just have to believe the impossible that the ones we love are looking down on us from some where above, and watching over us.
5/7/09 is a day I'll remember for the rest of my life, but I will not allow it to hinder my happiness. I miss her terribly, but I have to move on and Be happy. We must become happy enough to spread some of it to her.
5/7/09
Gone from our lives, Forever in our hearts.
 Sinful Fool · Sun Feb 13, 2011 @ 08:42am · 0 Comments |
