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I don't really get the last part but cool you had fun on college.but it's just tough... whee

Wow. A great story- I just found you to be even more of a sweetie Jass. But I'm sorry for what happened : x Don't cry..but I do have one question: You said, "But what kept me alive today was Ali’s mother’s cook." Qhat exactly do you mean o- o? Still nice story ^^

Well, it was a gathering. Like a BBQ party. So the one who cook is her mom. And it was superb! I will add something a little bit more in that text.

That big block of text that was assasinating my eyes ish very interesting. OxO A sweetart and an unlucky guy you are. u.u I hope you feel normal and better soon. 3nodding

That must've took a hella lot of time though. OxO" Hope you didn't get arthritis or something.

Isn't it physically injury? Not mentally.

even though i dont like 2 read at all i read all ur story n wow it was 2 sad .....but its gona b dificult cuz if it was ur first love well ur first love its the one tat hurts u more just like me i lost the love of my life one day b4 valentines........but dont get sad things happen 4 a reason well i think.........

Oh My God. . .My Eyes Burn And To Be Honest You Didnt Have To Go In Details

Anyways, Um. . . All I Can Say She Really Doesnt Love You

Or Try, So I Guess Your First Love Isnt Ment To Be

Its Sad Really, I Have No Experiance With Love, Im To Scared to Feel It Because Of Rejection O___O;;

Anyways I Hope Theres Someone Who Will Make You Feel The Same Way Because to Be Honest

You Just Cant Force Someone To Love You If Thats Just How They Feel?

Reading These Just Shows All The Signs Of Her Feeling Bad Because She Cant Love You, Anyways Good Luck

EDIT: Im Sorry I Ever Wrote That

I NOW Know What You Mean. . .But I Sill Wish You Good Luck

I was told it would be okay if I commented on this journal (I'm the friend of a friend, if you're curious). I read the whole thing, and unless there are details missing, you're in a horrible spot. She might like you, she might have liked you, but she can't trust you at all. If you look back and read it, she did show at least a gradual amount of interest in you. But, over time, your feelings grew, and you denied them until they became strong. The thing is, though, as they became more and more strong, you actively told her, that you didn't see her that way. That she was like a sister, even when you knew things were becoming different. You ended up lying, and betraying a very important bond you shared with her, even if unintentional. She has a hard time looking at you, because she trusts you, and she cares about you, but she has no idea what that means anymore. You said her life was difficult, and she stressed about it. She's stressing more, just by thinking about both of you. She's going to start blaming you for her other problems, the more you're around, too.

It's not fair. It's clear both of you are inexperienced in this. But by continually showing up, and giving her things, and by being a friend and looking like you constantly want more, when she doesn't, is going to make the end very painful for you. You're going to have to take a step back, and not think, talk, or look for her. You need to move on for a while, maybe longer.

On the bright side, this distance will give both of you perspective. There is still a chance that your stories might still be connected. But, you can't count on it. You need to take care of yourself first.

Naw, this is not my first love. .___."

And the story ended up almost 3 months ago. 10 to 11 weeks already. She still likes that person, even though that guy is having a relation with someone else. (Just had it for a couple of weeks, and serious relation)

Maybe I should update it. But for now, I don't feel like doing it. Either I am too lazy, or too busy, or not in the mood to right it down.

I tried to avoid any sort of special relation since I enter college. Because I want to focus with studies. But I know things can change in a snap. *Snaps my finger* We never know the future, but I already expect for me to have someone I like. Someone I really care. But I never expect for it to happen this fast.

By now, I know that she rather have me out of her sight. Knowing that she said "I wish he never exist in my life" really hurts me. I wish I never even exist. But I already am and I can't change that fact. And I'm not the kind of guy who would end my life so easily.

I've been keeping a distance for 2 months since I put down this journal. And 2 months, our semester ends. And after the last class, I manage to talk to her, and she seems "okay" with it. And I just ask if she is doing alright and stuff, college, life. And she said something that I wish it never happened. That I will put it up in my journal later. I will simply edit this one.

Oh, I forgot. I rather not force someone to love me. That is obviously won't work. I tried not to force her to love me. I was just emotional and express my feelings at those time.