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Ch.38 (Phoenix): Getting to Know You |
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"Ana, this is Erik," said Jasper, indicating me with a loosely extended arm. "He'll be your new voice teacher."
He didn't hesitate to come to the point did he? 'Why did I tell him my real name?' I thought, unabashedly terrified. (I would never admit to it of course; although, I do admit to thinking Ana felt the same way too at the time.)
I stood for a while, my eyes taking in what was to be my newest young Muse as she turned and hugged her elder brother. There was something familiar about her I had not seen in any of my previous students, not even in Chloe. Jasper had been true to his word.
"Your parents don't deserve either of you," I spoke candidly. Anastasia looked at me as I came across the clearing towards her and Jasper. "May the Angel of Music watch and keep you always." (Since the curse would keep me alive indefinitely, I would remain true to my blessing, whether I liked it or not. How else would I have trained Lea Solonga, I ask you?)
"Jasper," I said as I turned to face him directly. Ana's curiously inquisitive stare at the mask I wore did not go unnoticed by either of us. I could see an unnatural knowing in Jasper's eyes as well, so I quickly remembered what I had wanted to ask him. "Is it all right if we had our first lesson tonight. I want my young muse's voice ringing through-out this forest as soon as possible."
Jasper merely inclined his head to me, a gesture meant in complete politeness; I had the feeling though there was something more behind it because as he turned to leave us, he said, "Just know Erik. She can't be with you forever." and then he left.
"So," I said after a brief and awkward silence, "what can you do?"
Ana stiffened a little, timidly trying to comprise an adequate answer to my question. I looked at her expectantly, waiting with baited breath, but that just made her look away. To be honest, I think she was scared of me. (I knew I shouldn't have chosen to appear in what was close to my true form!) "It looks like we have a lot of work to do," I sighed, taking her by the hand and leading her to the center of the clearing.
"Sing a D major scale," I commanded, trying to sound as unintimidating as possible. She paused for a while and then softly sang the notes. Her pitch was good but I could barely hear her, and I was standing right in front of her. Also, the rhythm in which she sang the notes was unsteady and jumbled. "Louder please," I said, "and this time, keep it steady." That was the beginning of our lessons together.
Every night after that, we met in that clearing. I was never one for tradition, so besides learning something musical, Ana would learn something about Alecto's travels. I told her about Ireland, England, Mexico, Japan, Persia, and many more countries I had wandered in my eternal damnation, always under the alias of Alecto, my previous body's real name. (She particularly liked the ones about working for the King of Persia; I would never tell her that those were true though.)
The only downside to this compromise was that Ana revealed little about herself, shyly trying to suppress her shattered emotions along with anything else that might have allowed me to help her. This was where Jasper became my salvation yet again. He would meet me once a month at the place where we had first met after Ana's lesson was done and talk about her. I learned that she loved the color purple, was fond of red roses, played the flute as well as singing, and many more curious things. Also, according to him, people were quite curious as to how her voice had progressed so much in so little time. (As you can imagine, that made me feel proud.)
"It's her birthday the night after tomorrow night," he said on a cold February evening. "I won't be there to see her reach her teens, but I thought maybe you could do something for her."
I crossed my arms and skeptically arched an eyebrow. "What do you expect me to do?" I asked, knowledgable cynicism as well as questioning in my voice. "Get her a kitten?" (I had been told she liked cats.)
"No, I think you know exactly what I want you to do, Mr. Phantom of the Opera."
I gasped internally. 'How did he know?!' "Didn't take me too long to figure it out Erik. You look just like the actor in the movie."
"What movie?" I asked, genuinely confused. "What's a movie to start with?"
"Another night perhaps, but believe me when I say that there's more about you than you know anything, and that my sister knows a little, about. You're so famous you're practically a hero."
"A hero? Me? Don't be foolish. Who could possibly love someone as hideous as me?"
"A lot of people actually, including my sister. That's why our mother got tickets to take to her to the Broadway show on her 13th birthday. She was always the more musical of our parents and she knows it'll mean a lot to Ana."
That gave me an idea. "You're saying you want to give her a present she'll never forget by telling her the truth of my identity."
"Exactly. I wanted to tell her but I figured that would be selfish and wanted you to tell her yourself when you were ready. And from where I stand, now's as good a time as any."
A wry smile crossed my face. Jasper was quite the perceptionist. "Tomorrow night. That's when I want you to tell her," Jasper said, and then he stood up and left.
The next night started off like usual; Ana met me in the clearing and I took her through her vocalise. However, just as we were about to start her serious singing, it began to snow. I had heard from Jasper that Winter was Ana's favorite season, but from what I could tell from her shivering frame, she was not enjoying this unexpected change in the weather.
Her thin cotton slumber wear would not provide sufficient insulation against the cold. I needed to get her somewhere warm and- Wait! That was it! "Ana, hold on to me!" I said, waving her into my arms. She ran and clasped her arms around me in a constricting embrace without hesistation. The tightness of her arms around me was sudden but strangely relaxing; I focused on that feeling as I brought us to our destination. I only had to think of it and we were there almost instantaneously.
I stepped back and away from her, letting her take in the splendor of the place where we had come. 'I can't believe it's all still here,' I thought, mildly amazed myself that my home still looked the same as the day I left it, even if I hadn't lived in it for more than a century. The lake, the boat, my organ, even my sanctum of slumber... everything was as I remembered, except for my artwork which had thankfully been removed.
"Where are we you ask?" I asked after I was done staring, answering the unformed question on her lips. Ever the gentleman, and, strangely, wanting to impress her, I swirled my velvet cape once around my shoulders and deposited it on the floor before continuing. "We are in my home, or, at least, what was my home?" I had never showed any of my students this place before her, so why was I starting now? That question, and quite a few more, roamed the recesses of my mind.
"What do you mean 'was your home'?" Ana asked, mildly confounded. Then, she took a good look around again, and then a good look at me. Everything came together in her expression as she blinked her brown eyes in disbelief, trying to rationalize that I couldn't be who I really was, stupified into silence.
"Do not think I wish to frighten you, Anastasia," I said, using her full name, which I had learned from Jasper. "Jasper told me you might be when I broke the news to you."
"He knew!" Ana blurted out accusingly, glaring at the floor. (I was thankful that she had decided not to "shoot the messenger." wink "He knew all along and he never told me."
"He wanted me to tell you," I said truthfully, "but I was afraid that you would discontinue your training before you could hold your own if I told you sooner. (This partly true because I hadn't really wanted to tell her at all. I couldn't bear the thought of losing another one of my students.) Besides, considering what you're doing tomorrow, I thought it might be an appropriate surprise."
I disclosed to her everything that had passed between me and Jasper the night before. All night long, we sang songs from the musical that had sprung from my epithet; she made out brilliantly in all the parts, almost as if she could sing the show by herself, which was good for me since I had just gotten the sheet music from Jasper earlier that day. Me being what I am though, you can probably guess that I caught on in no time at all.
Ana was happier than I had ever seen her during our lessons together that night. We sang into the wee hours of the morning (She had told me she had been born at 3:00 AM, so I thought I'd extend our lesson as a birthday treat.), and just before she collapsed from exhaustion in my arms, I took a picture of us with her camera. (Having magical powers imbued in me by the curse, I could summon objects if I knew what they looked like.) I still have a copy of that picture, a reminder of how happy I, she, we could be.
Our lessons continued for another year. While her voice improved during that time, I noticed a change for the worse in her mood. Late one Spring night at one of my monthly meetings with Jasper, I asked him about it. "You told me that her peers had started looking up to her instead in of the other direction," I said, delving for information. "And yet, her mood seems to be slipping every time I see her."
"And since she's not very open about herself, you came to me, right?" Jasper said, one skeptical eyebrow raised. I swear he was a blonde version of me sometimes.
I inclined my head, indicating for him to go on. "The fire may be extinguished but the burns remain. She consistently degrades herself in the attempt to recreate that atmosphere, most likely out of fear that it'll come again in the near future. I've watched her self-esteem slip to abyssinal lows I never thought were possible. No matter what I say to her, she can't bring herself to believe even the lightest "I love you." anymore."
I couldn't believe it! She was putting on a brave face for me so that I wouldn't know she was feeling like this. I would have comforted her if only she would let me and if I had known. I felt terrible, thinking about the things I could've done, the things I should've said in her dreams, to make her feel better. Here was a person who really did understand my position: wanting to be strong by putting up a front of anger and frustration when in reality trying to hide your fear and sadness because you're afraid of being hurt by others.
I stared at the sidewalk, too disgusted with myself to say anything. "It's not your fault, so you don't need to feel bad."
"But I do," I said. "I feel worse than you could possibly imagine right now."
"I think I can imagine. I really think I can. She's my sister, and, naturally, I can't bear to see her like this. That's why I'm visting her tomorrow when Ana's at school. With any luck, I should be able to work something out so that she can be happy again. This may be the last time I see you for a while; wish me luck."
Jasper stood up and left me. 'He couldn't mean her' I thought. Then again, I had heard the trees circulating that a certain witch had appeared somewhere near here. 'Even if he did find her, what could he offer her?'
Then it hit me. He wasn't going to offer the witch just anything; he was going to offer himself! Knowing fully now what Jasper intended to do, I set out after him the next morning. Before I left though, I deposited "the photograph" on Ana's pillow. I might not be coming back from this, so I wanted her to have something to remember me by. I also didn't want to have to deal with the sting of one day losing her to another, as with all of my Muses, but as I went off to stop Jasper from making the biggest mistake of his life, I felt in my heart that she had never intended to leave me.
 srs diva 2011 xxl · Tue Sep 22, 2009 @ 02:59am · 1 Comments |
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