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I'm pretty bored right now, but oddly awake. Normally when the internet keeps failing and moving really slow I get pissed off and decide to go to bed. However, tonight is different. There is this voice in my head telling me to run, run fast, and far. I just don't know where. I'm sitting at my mom's house perfectly fine, except for the fact that I would love to have Brendan in my arms right now. I hate those urges to cuddle, or something because I feel like I'm annoying him if I ask if we can hang out. I would rather him invite me ^^;... I honestly don't like inviting myself places. It makes me feel rude, but sometimes I just need to get out of my house (I have a low tolerence for my siblings)... Anyways back to the little voice in my head, where would I run to at 10 o'clock at night. It's like somebody is in danger or something, or somebody needs me and I can't figure out what is wrong.
Maybe it's the fact that my friend and this other person broke up. Honestly I don't want to deal with it right now. I'm pretty happy right now. My life is good (weird) I am getting good grades, I have friends I can trust, there really is no drama, stress, anything! I like it, but I'm not afraid to risk stress or anything if a friend needs me or something...I always want people to know I want to listen to their stuff that they just need to get off their chest or something they need advice with. I just don't want to come up to them and be like hey im always here for you randomly because I don't want them to think I think they have problems because I dont think anybody has problems. It's like a just in case you get a problem kind of thing.
One of my friends from middle school killed herself awhile ago v.v. Even though we haven't talked in like 2 and a half years it still makes me wonder why? What was so bad that you had to do something so terrible to yourself. Nobody should take their own life, it's just not the right decision. I think people kill themselves because they either feel like they just get in the way, they feel like nobody would miss them, they're just in so much emotional pain they feel like nothing could get any worse, just alot of reason. In my opinion they just need some help looking on the brighter side, and especially someone to help them get through it <3. Friends should always be there for eachother... I'll miss her. *sigh*
I hate ranting about sad things so Im just randomly going to shoot to a happy note ^^;; We have had 100 days of school. Yeah wow this year has gone by fast. Woot I'm getting closer to graduation. I know its "scarey" and stuff, but really I think it'll be fun. Just a new adventure around the corner. Life is going to begin soon, and you're gosh darn right I think its going to be hard, but ******** YEAH IM GOIN FOR IT ^_^!!!!! After college the world is mine to explore, and take over with the help of a few friends >.> (s**t did I say that out loud) I plan to be some kind of Psychologist or something, maybe a social worker, a theropist, idk I just really want to help people, or even animals, get through life, like if they've had a rough time, and just need somebody to talk to, and guide them step by step. However, if that plan fails I'll be a massuste ^_^. Giving massages is something I enjoy, I figure after practicing for a while the cramps in my hands would go away. Sure eventually I would probably get some kind of disease that would prevent me from doing it anymore, but it makes good money I hear lol.
College o.o I should really look at that lol. We just recently took this personality test thing for Life Ed. and it said," People like you are rare. You are a unique and creative person who tends to march to the beat drummer. Private, quiet, and socially cautious, only friends who know you very well may even see a playful expressive side. In fact, it takes a while for you to feel comfortable with new people, you can be described as somewhat reserved. But inside, you are a person of great feeling and care deeply about others, and causes that you feel good about. You are rarely willing to compromise on anything that conflicts to you. You can sometimes become overwhelmed by the intensity of you emotions, and you want to be free of conflict or tension for you to remain in them.
You are also a highly imaginitive person and may enjoy expressing yourself through the arts. You are also somewhat of a perfectionist, you may have trouble hearing constructive criticism without taking it to presonally.
You are quick to understand the deeper meaning of things, and often have a fresh or original feel to people. Since you prefer by nature to act spontaneously, you resist too many rules. You also have trouble staying orginized or making decisions. At heart, you are a non-co(idk the words got cut off) . You should find the path that is really right for you, even it if means striking out alone."
I mostly agree with that, there are some dings in that, but its amazing how a test can get your personality almost right on the dot lol. It also have me a list of jobs that I would probably have potential in ^_^ like: Health Services, Human Services, Communication & Media, Science & Scientific Research, The Arts, Computer Science & Technology, Education & Training, Sports & Entertainment, Business, Management & Finance, Government & Law, and Market & Sales...Thats alot o.o lol compared to some of the people I was sitting next to.
Well yeah ^_^ for college I know Im going to be like everybody else and obviously apply to Uconn xD...I'm going to do this stuff early so I can get as many opportunities as possible ^_^!
ahhh New Hampshire *dreamy sigh* ^_^
Well I'm off to take a stab at getting somemore gold before I go to bed, Night!
 Kuri Kawaii · Mon Feb 09, 2009 @ 03:42am · 0 Comments |
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