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I'm simply and truely lost, amazingly, adoringly, depressed. Everything is as sharp as a butcher's knife and everything is as sweet as a piece of freshly picked chocolate. Everything is as cold as the Polar Ice Caps, and everything is as sad as the mourning over a lost soul, another one, lost to suicide's grasps. Everything is right here, right in front of me, like a test given with the answers on the side of the paper. Everything is so close to me, like darkness with a flick of the light.
Oh, the darkness. And the pain. And the irony and agony.
His eyes are as cold as the ice caps, but as warm as the sun at 1000000000000000000 degrees. Everything is right in front of me, but time is wasted because I am so damn hesitant. I wonder why this is...
I'm still trying to find lost time, and I'm still trying to fix the holes created by my foolishness and childishness.
My life is as dull as the end of a pair of sissors, and my eyes are as worn out as a over-worn T-Shirt. My body is as weak as a lone hockey stick used too many times. Everything about me is lost. But when I look into his cold eyes, I still cannot be angry and I cannot be sad. And I cannot feel remorse. Everything is so clear to me, but even time, time itself, cannot free me from the agony of knowing that he hurt me so many times, and yet I fall for his same devious tricks. So clear. And so painful. Yet, to arrogent to see, I do not see the evil in him, or the evil intentions in his cold, hard, blue eyes that still draw my attention.
Even death itself couldn't free me from his gravotational pull. I'm still finding the lost time that has seemed to confront me in an unfriendly fashion.
So unorginized.
So Pathetic.
In finding lost time, I still finish last.
Can someone please explain this to me? Why do I keep falling for his same, devious, disgusting, and fould tricks. What the hell is wrong with me? Is he pulling me down to the depths of hell, silently giving me the middle finger behind his back when I turn around so he can carass my hair? Or my cheeks? What am I missing here? The answers are all right next to me, and they eyes are right there taunting me. But I keep failing to look at the answers. Is it because I am too afraid to find out why I know I will despise? Or over turn? Am I so kind-hearted, or so cold-hearted, that I really only care about my feelings? Or do I want to believe he's something completely different then I thought? I'm still finishing last, with contemplating thoughts and contemplating questions. I'm lost. In lost time, why can't I just see the damn ******** answers? What the hell am I doing wrong here?
Everyone is pointing to the answers, the teacher is watching me, but not taking my answers away. Is she silently taunting me, giving me the middle finger as well as the silent mock? I can't do this anymore!
It's as simple as just moving your eyes around to the answer sheet, and cheating. It's not that hard!
Why can't I just turn my head, and look?
Just do the stupid deed, already. DAMN IT!
Finally, making the correct choice, I turn my head, and spot the only answer to a million question test,
"He's using you, you dumbass."
 Deceased Poet · Sat Jan 24, 2009 @ 04:33am · 0 Comments |
