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Journal of Secrets chapter 1: Finished Product |
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Chapter 1
Theory 2009
There it was again.
For what seemed the thirtieth time this week, this dream was once again lingering in my unconscious states, waking me up with screams. I was covered in sweat, my mind jumbled up with the many thoughts that threatened to spill out any moment in my life. It felt like someone had my legs and hands bound in tight together, and I couldn’t break free. Of course it was the blanket wrapped tight around me. I fought with the blankets trying to free myself from the monster.
Finally when I was free, I sat up, and pulled my knees close to me as I put my head in between them to regain consciousness further.
I needed to do something. These dreams weren’t going to disappear any time soon, and the fact that the dreams kept getting more vivid with each new night, I could tell that they were planning on staying with me until I finally got the picture. But what was the picture? I didn’t get it! This girl… this odd girl with albino skin, her skin as white as bone in farther comparison with intense cold blue eyes that bore into your heart… She was tall for her age, yet so beautiful that it was almost scary. Her cheeks were the only thing that shimmered color of a light rose, her lips were as white as a cloud like her skin… And that man! The way he spoke and the way he shifted the conversation between the girl named Meagan and himself, so that he could easily lure her away from killing herself. He had to do it himself… How sick.
And the blood and guts, the way how the maroon color shimmered in the pale moon light. I felt the bile rising in my throat. I stood up, falling on my knees in my room from the dizziness that covered me in thick darkness.
I cursed under my breath. I stood up, giving myself a second before moving again. When I was sure that I wasn’t going to fall, I ran to the bathroom, and felt that the bile stayed underneath my throat, and I smiled uneasily as I peered into the mirror in my white bathroom that was covered in autumn leaves and signatures from my friends. I had to laugh when the paint job was finished three nights ago. Now I could remember my friends while I finished up my business. Awkward.
“Pull it together, Lexie…” I spoke to my image in the mirror. “This is all in your head. They’re just dreams… after all; the Singers are a myth… They said that her murder was inexplicably too complicated…” I spoke again. I turned to look at the alarm clock beside my crème shower curtain to check the time.
It was 5:30. I had an hour before school started. I sighed and decided to call Alex, my best friend who had a huge crush on me. I sighed and resigned. No, I would call James who knew a lot more about paranormal than I ever would or Alex for that matter.
I walked out of my bathroom, and out into my organized room that was painted orange and had a huge tree in a corner that resembled my favorite season: Autumn.
I walked past my torture bed, and walked straight to the phone that was located on a brown desk that also had small paintings of tiny green, orange, yellow, red, and light brown leaves on the drawers and on the top layer of my desk.
I picked it up, and dialed James not even looking at what I was typing in. I knew his number by heart already.
He picked up, with a groggy tone. “Yeah?”
“Fine. Answer that way James. I see-“
Then his voice cleared up. “Hey Lex! How’s it going? Why are you calling me? Want to go out?” Of course. At the end of his every sentence was exactly that. Want to go out?
I giggled. I was flattered, yes. But James was completely different than I. He was into all that reincarnation stuff and video games and paranormal… ew. I was into the mall, the outdoors, and hanging with my friends at the park three blocks over in Indiana.
“No. I was-“
“Then there is no need for this conversation any farther, eh?” He asked, his voice becoming a whisper. A shot of guild ran through me… I really kind of did like James. More than Alex, anyways. Alex was a debater in my debate class, and he was all about the girls and school and the mystery of Meagan’s death. Optimistic about it even though he knows that there were no such murders.
“You know what?” I asked him, pleading for him to say it. I didn’t want to.
“You’ll go to dinner with me tonight? After class?” He asked eagerly.
“Yep. I will, James. One question.”
“Shoot,” he replied into the receiver. I heard him rummaging in his desk.
“Okay. So you’re into all this paranormal stuff…” I started.
“Mhmm…” He prompted.
“I had another dream, this time it was more vivid. I don’t know what to do, James. It’s killing me. It felt like…like I was actually there with this Meagan person, except this time, I was the one with the slit of the throat, the one with the thoughts of killing herself, and I was the one screaming! And every time I wake up, I feel freezing even when I am sweating through my clothes. It’s so strange! And sometimes-“
“Sometimes you feel like you’re being watched.” He stated.
“Yes,” I whispered, watching the clock tick by lazily.
“I can have a preacher banish the ghost,” he spoke swiftly while grunting. Must be putting on jeans.
“No, no. I don’t even believe in the paranormal, James.” I felt my hand grow tighter around the receiver.
“Then, why are you afraid?” He asked confused.
“The dreams scare me, James.”
“Lexie, I really need to get ready for school. So do you, we’ll talk about dinner and the dreams when we get to school.” James hung up before I could object.
I sighed, and rummaged through my closet that was on the opposite wall than the one I was just on.
My phone rung again when I had finally found something decent: a green camisole with a pair of flared jeans. I grabbed a brush and threw my clothes on my bed, and picked up my blue flip phone.
“Yeah. Hello?” I said, ripping my brush through my hair.
“Hey, cutie. What’s up?”
“Ripping a brush through my hair,” I responded.
“Fun,” he spoke through the receiver. Completely relaxed. Well, he wasn’t going to be relaxed-
“So, want to go out tonight. Ya know I love you.” He laughed.
“No, Alex. I kind of had plans.”
“Screw ‘em. Come to dinner or lunch at least.”
“Hell no, Alex.” I spat into the receiver, putting my brush down on my desk with a thud.
“Why not? I love you, Lexie Anna Killington. Just agree for once!” He yelled.
“I agreed three months ago, and when you were done kissing me, you moved onto the blonde. Your mistake, Alex.”
“She looked like Meagan! I had to kiss her!”
I laughed loudly. “******** you, Alex. You know she’s a myth.”
“I would love it if you screwed me up, Lexie.”
“********. You. Get. A. Life.” I said through clenched teeth, and hung up on him.
He really annoyed me. I turned my phone off, going into the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I was finished, my teeth a sweet mint, I took a long breath, and stripped down to my bra, and looked for a pair of underwear. I settled for black underwear, and pulled them up, along with my black jeans, and then grabbed the too tight camisole to pull over my torso.
When I pulled all the clothes on, I headed for the bathroom for the last time to appraise myself before putting on black eyeliner and pulling my hair into a pony tail above my head.
I smiled at my reflection. Then I realized why I had chosen really pretty clothes rather than my nice warm green sweats and black tank top. I was excited about; my date with James Singerton.
I laughed at myself, and fell onto my back, laughing hysterically. I was sure my friend down stairs could hear me.
“Wow, that’s a good one!” I laughed, and then abruptly stopped when I heard someone walking in my tiny kitchen in the corner across from the bathroom. These dorms were too small, so I could hear almost anything that crept up from under the floor boards.
I sat up from my hysterical crouch, and pulled myself up using the edge of the tabletop, and feeling hysterics.
“Hello?” I called, telling myself that it was just me from laughing so hard. When I was sure that no one was in my kitchen anymore, I turned to flick the light off, and headed out of the bathroom, taking hesitant steps toward my ugly yellow kitchen. When I turned into my kitchen, I sucked in my breath.
There was no one there. I let go of the breath, feeling my throat begin to burn. My phone buzzed again in my pocket, even though I was sure that I had turned it off. I muttered something unintelligible, and flipped my phone up to my ear. I was going to scream.
“ALEX! ******** OFF! I DO NOT LIKE YOU ANYMORE THAN YOU HATE ME! SO STOP CALLING ME!-“ I broke off mid-sentence when I heard a low chuckle.
“Alex Panacea Langston?” He laughed again.
“Oh, uh, hi,” I spoke suddenly self-conscious.
“Hello Ms. Killington,” he chuckled again, “I take it that Mr. Langston has called you on this bleak morning?” His velvet voice was so unbearable…
“Hello, Jinx. Yes, he has called me on this glorious morning.” I started to twist my hair around my finger, and fidgeted whenever he said my name…
“Wonderful, remind me to strangle him. Hey come downstairs, I’m taking you to school today.”
“What’s the occasion? You know that your girlfriend would strangle you.”
“So? It’s your nineteenth birthday. One more year, and you are mine.” He chuckled softly, and I felt like a thousand butterflies had just lifted me up off the floor. Whenever Jinx mentioned that fact that I would be his for the taking, I just couldn’t get over that. He was twenty three, and we agreed that he would only take me in marriage when I was officially twenty. So for the mean time, he dated Kelsey Arlington, my enemy. He could kiss her as many times as she wanted him to, but he would always be mine. I smiled at that, and finally heard him trying to keep in a laugh.
I groaned. “Did I do it again?”
“Yup,” he replied smoothly, his voice sending a chill down my spine.
“Did I break the record?” I asked, pulling on my cashmere sweatshirt.
“Nope. That was only two minutes. Your record is… fifteen minutes after I asked you to marry me. You’re only thirteen minutes off.”
“Only thirteen!” I gasped dramatically.
He chuckled again, and told me he’d be there momentarily to pick me up, so I hung up. This dating thing might be harder now…
I picked up my purple bag and threw it over my shoulder, staring into my yellow kitchen again.
“Meagan Anne Singer…” I spoke thoughtfully. “Hmm. Maybe you are real, but I don’t see why you’re hunting me.” I sighed, and backed out of the kitchen and into the hallway to leave and see Jinx.
He was there, of course, the minute I exited the dorm facility. I straightened my shirt, and flexed my muscles under the tight jeans, and walked towards his red Volvo.
He was smiling his huge breathtaking smile, and I smiled back. Words couldn’t describe his beauty… He was a pale white with big almond shaped blue eyes that shimmered in the moonlight. His skin was as smooth as marble, and his temperature was a slightly 21 degrees colder than my own. Of course anyone would wonder why on earth he chose a average brunette who was tall, and too skinny, and very smart, yet clumsy to her own accord. But he loved me for who I was, and that was all I could ask for. All I wanted from him… well besides something else, but that’s beyond the point.
I saw his brow furrow, and I looked at him, my crimson eyes boring into his who were trying to take me.
“Five minutes, Killington. You’re working your way up.” He chuckled, and patted the leather seat next to him; the passenger seat. I smiled, and opened the red Volvo’s door, and let myself in. The seats were as black as the night sky as was his car from the heavy obnoxious tint his father had bought for him when he was my age.
I cringed at the smell of Hollister perfume. Kelsey Arlington. He saw my reaction, and touched my lips.
“Before you can say anything, love, understand that she needed a ride too, today.”
I muttered something unintelligible. “She can find her own ride after I’m twenty,” I said in clenched teeth.
He nodded, putting his hand back on the wheel, pulling out of my driveway, and onto the freeway. “I understand. And you know I don’t care for that little brat, anyways. She’s a pawn so people don’t think I’m an old sap getting jiggy with his fiancé because she’s too young to marry… yet,” he said mischievously, flashing a smile and then laughing at his own joke, I joined in too, enjoying the first smile I had gotten all day.
Then, a headache hit me full force, and I fell forward almost as if he had braked too fast… but he was still going 75 miles per hour.
He looked at me concerned, and pulled over when I didn’t respond to a question he had apparently asked me.
He got out of the drivers seat, and walked over to my side, pulling my hands that were clutched around my forehead. When did I do that?
“Love?”
“I-I’m fine… Just a quick headache…” but it was more than that…There was an image that flashed through my mind that I had never seen before… A image that belonged to someone else. Not me.
“Maybe we should reconsider school today…” He started, reading my mind. In theory, I would’ve resigned, and said no, but this headache really took a punch, and it really did feel like someone threw a punch into my gut and knocked the air out of me, so I relented.
“You go on ahead to school. I’ll just…Walk it off…” I spoke, and felt dizzy again. That image wouldn’t leave my perpetual vision.
He looked at me, mesmerized. What was he looking at?
I cringed again as another picture flashed through my mind. This time it was a young girl, looking six this time, holding a fairly brand new book in her hands with a scowl imprinted in her perfect face. She was glowering at a few people somewhere unaware of my eyes.
Then my mind cleared again, and I saw Jinx tugging on my shoulder beside me.
“Are you sure? Maybe we should just skip today and take you to the hospital…” he asked me, looking past me and through my window. I turned to look, but saw just the red brick of an old beaten building. Was he spacing?
His beautiful face, with slight curls above his eyebrows, was as whiter then bone, like he had seen a ghost.
I looked back into his blue eyes, wondering what he was looking at.
“Why? What would the hospital see? That I’m just over excited about my nineteenth birthday,” I forced a giggle. Maybe this would lighten him up.
It did.
“And why’s that, love?” He was driving again, his arm resting on my thigh. I smiled and looked at his side-feature again, drowning in his beauty before speaking.
“Because in one year, that wicked witch will be gone,” I smiled at the venom in my voice. Was I faking that too to get out of the hospital?
Nah, I meant that.
He chuckled. “I should’ve guessed,” he sighed, looking at me with his blue eyes. I shivered even though it was blistering today.
“Did you?”
“Nope. ‘Cause that’s usually me saying that. Not you,” he relented, and looked back on the road.
I hid a smile. “Well, I believe you. It’s been killing me to be away from you so long.”
He chuckled again. “You have no idea how much I hate it, too, love. When she begs me to kiss me-” he glanced at me, giving an apologetic smile- “I cringe behind her back, and then pucker up ready for a sour moment. It’s so disgusting!” He shivered.
I laughed then. “Well when Alex, and James want to kiss me, or ask me out, I just want to scream! How do you do it?” I asked him, innocently.
He frowned. Jinx hated anything about Alex and James. Even if this was his idea about dating other people until I was at the legal age of marrying, he still hated to think that I may actually like one of them.
“Jinx, you heard my outburst on the phone. I do not like Alex or James,” I said sternly, emphasizing each word.
“Yeah, but James could help you with those headaches and dreams you have.”
I froze. How did he know about that?
He must’ve seen my reaction, because he reached over and kissed me when we were stopped at the red light.
“James told me,” he whispered, taking the wheel again.
“When?”
“When you started calling him about the dreams a week ago. I understand why you told him, Lexie, but if something is bothering you, it may be a physiological meaning to it. If being with Kelsey-”
“No!” I shouted interrupting him. “No, no. Not at all. It hasn’t anything to do with Kelsey and not being able to have you all to myself,” he smiled at that, “It has something to do with Meagan Anne Singer.” I finished, and he swerved. My head jerked forward, and I cut my lip when my tooth bit into it.
“s**t!” He yelled. I could’ve said the same thing about my lip. Jeez, what was that about?
“What the hell, Jinx!” I shouted, feeling my heart hammering in my chest.
“That b*****d cut me off,” he replied, grinning at my blank expression.
Funny, I didn’t see a b*****d.
“Meagan Anne Singer. Now where have I heard that name before?” He asked rhetorically, but I felt obligated to answer.
“James. I swear, she’s the only thing I dream about at night. I always wake up screaming… the dreams are so vivid.”
He just nodded. “Myth,” he snorted.
“Reading too much?” He asked.
I nodded. “Apparently so.”
He scowled. “Stay away from James Mulligan, Lexie. He’ll fill that beautiful head of yours with myths and lies.”
Course he would say that. I nodded, seeing the anger in his eyes.
We passed University of Indiana, and he drove straight toward the boys dorms.
“Where are we going?” I asked him, eyeing him skeptically. “My house. We’ll skip first block.” He said, throwing me a smile.
“Not today,” I sighed, and when he stopped the car, I let myself out and headed toward the college on foot.
Jinx understood nothing about my physiological mind… I needed to think, not have sex. But I didn’t think he got my drift.
 Deceased Poet · Wed Sep 24, 2008 @ 12:29am · 1 Comments |
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