I feel like s**t.
So bad- I'm crying, and maybe it will stop sometime soon.
Or maybe I can just cry it all out, before tomorrow.
Today was suppose to be my day. So I could breathe again.
After all that s**t.
And just be happy, for the first time in such a long time.
I wanted to be able to smile, and enjoy the morning...
But people are so ******** stupid sometimes. Or maybe it's just me.
Maybe I'm the stupid one.
I know I have no friends. I can talk to the world, but I have no friends.
why doesn't anyone understand that. I try to cry for help- but no one
pays attention, and sometimes I think suicide is the best way out of this.
I don't want to live anymore...
I don't want to have to live in another fantasy, thinking I can have more
best friends that honestly understand me. Because they don't. And they're
walking away from me, and forgetting me. And I'm trying to pretend I'm not alone,
that family, is always with me. But it's not enough, it's not :]
Someone I loved, told me that they promised me somewhere in their heart,
Someone loved me. And told me things. And made me feel like I had a reason
to keep living. But I don't. Because I'm not- 'beautiful', silly person.
But it was all a lie, and I wanted to truly believe it was real.
To really believe I WAS ******** WORTH IT, BUT I GUESS NOT BECAUSE
ALL THE ******** PEOPLE WHO TOLD ME THEY LOVED AND SAID
I MEANT SOMETHING TO THEM, WHO SAID THAT THEY'D ALWAYS
BE HERE FOR ME AND THAT WE'D BE TOGETHER FOREVER ARE
ALL ******** LIARS- AND HOW IS IT THAT I AM THE ONLY ONE TO KEEP
THAT ******** PROMISE AND NO ONE ELSE CARES.
maybe I should be a liar to...
******** THAT.
I don't need you losers.
You aren't worth me crying every night, you aren't worth me cutting my flesh open.
You aren't even worth the ******** memories.
I'LL FIND SOMEONE.
Someone who loves me.
Who understands me.
Who won't EVER back stab me.
who will ALWAYS be there for me.
Who won't ever use me.
Who will do the little things,
and call me and tell me about
how they forgot to tell me 'I love you' that day...
I guess I really am a liar....
 Pain-Killer 4 Dead Angels · Mon Sep 01, 2008 @ 06:00am · 0 Comments |
