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Well, I haven't been feeling the best these past few days... I don't think it's 100% physical... Mainly, I think it's mental finally reaching the point of also affecting the physical.
Entertaining 'house guests' for extended periods of time (when I don't much care to be around them once a year for an hour or two) puts a very taxing strain on my mind. I think that strain has begun to show in how I feel physically, since it's the only way I'm allowed to let it out.
My stomach feels odd and my chest feels heavy. My head will occasionally hurt. But I don't feel -sick- during any of this, not in the way of illness anyway. I feel sick, as in tired of dealing with this.
Every time I have to stay near our guest for an extended length of time, (anytime longer than 30 to 40 minutes), she always has something to say about how I do things.
Within 10 minutes of arriving here (for the second time of being an extended guest), she was picking at how I sneeze, basically saying I was sneezing incorrectly. She assumed that because of the way my sneeze sounded that I was "holding it back" and not sneezing properly, and decides it's her place to tell me, "Don't do that, it's not good for you."
And she continues to say it every time I sneeze, as if I'm either too stupid to remember that she's been so kind to let me know I'm harming myself or just to point it out for the sake of hearing her own voice. I can always hear her talking, and I can rarely see eye to eye with her opinions. It irritates me more and more every day.
Last night she was telling me that I should have made the biscuits for dinner with a fork rather than my hands because I was picking at the dough on my hands and saying how I couldn't get what else I needed because I'd forgotten our water was off.
Personally, I've -never- made them with a fork.
I've -always- used my hands. And if she'd been around me for -any- length of time she would -know- that no matter what it is I have on my hands, I'm going to playfully whine about it before washing it off. I really don't like having dirty hands. But just her speaking to me gets my blood boiling.
If she purposefully picks on me it's even worse, since she doesn't know me. She could easily cross the line. Last night I had a very small outburst from everything going on.
Dad was having trouble trying to fix our water pipes, our original plan of pancakes for dinner was changed to sausage and gravy, and mom had me fixing the biscuits even though I can't stand doing it (apparently I make them really well, even if I hate it).
I'm trying to mix it with my hands as always, everyone's telling me "Move this way I have to get something behind you" then "Move back to where you were I need something from over here now".
At the same time I'm trying to get someone to bring me a pan for the biscuits, although maybe 4 are left clean, and not typically the ones we use for biscuits. We're out of PAM, and since we have no water I can't just wash my hands off and get the pans and butter them.
Then everyone's talking at me at once, I'm trying to move out of dad's way, and sister's way, and our guest is telling me I should've used a fork, brother's telling me he isn't coming to watch anime after dinner.
So I raised my voice and told them all I needed was a buttered pan and for everyone to stop crowding me.
They did, for a little while.
But of course, by the time I was putting the biscuits in the pan... well, apparently I do -that- wrong too, because our guest was informing me that "biscuits are allowed to touch, you know".
Yes, I know. But if they don't HAVE to touch, there's no sense pressing them right up against one another.
*sigh* I quickly left after dinner.
And luckily brother did come to watch more anime to get my mind off of it... But even so, it's all returned this morning.
Though now, I've decided a month before my birthday exactly what I want, however unlikely it is.
The one birthday present I'd love more than anything else is for her to not be here. And if she is here like she was on sister's birthday, she can at least get a gift. I've been meaning to ask Djin if she got her one or not, I'll try to do that today.
As for something that's more likely for me to get... depending on how I feel when that day gets closer, I'll probably just ask for a single volume of manga... decide which one it is when the time comes...
Right now I'm considering this list:
Hunter X Hunter
Black Cat
Candidate for Goddess
Black Sun, Silver Moon
RE razz lay (if there is a new one)
Juvenile Orion
and possibly a few others... Comment it if you can think of one I left out.
 PharaohRe · Fri Aug 15, 2008 @ 03:10pm · 0 Comments |
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