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beware, this is a long one 4laugh

ugh im frusterated

nd i lied 2 sum1 vry important 2 me.
nd wat i did tell him is probably gna make evrythin worse!!!
ugh this sux.

k ill explain evryting...
im frusterated cuz i keep tryin 2 talk 2 ppl on my freinds list, nd no1's sayin anything back!!! ugh *rolls eyes*

nd with the lying thing, it takes longer 2 explain... but here goes...
ok, i lied 2 mah ex... we'll call him... butthead
ugh where 2 start....
ok, i was cutting 4 a while. <i stopped dnt freak>
i really wntd 2 tell butthead
so i went 2 buttheads house 2 tell him cuz he wsnt ansrin his phone.
i got nervous so i went passed his house. when i finally got the courage 2 tell him, he was coming outta his house nd into sum1's car like he was goin sumwhere.
so i just kept walkin like i was just takin a walk.
well he saw me nd we just said hi nd both kept doin wat we were doin.
life goes on, right? he thinks i was takin a walk, i dnt gta tell him.
win win... right?
of course not.
we have this thing called the question game, nd its just between us. i ask him a question nd no matter wat it is he HAS 2 ansr truthfully. and vise versa. its our way of makin sure we dnt loose our freindship.
well we were playing 1 night nd it was butthead's turn. (we do this over txt). he asked:
"what were u doin wen u passed my house the day i was gettin picked up?"
i say:
"well i could tell u i was takin a walk.... but then i would be cheating..."
butthead:
"well... wat were u doin?"
me:
"i was comin 2 tell u sumthin"
butthead:
"wat was it?"
me:
"u allready used ur question, its my turn... " now i 4get wat i asked but thats irrelavent 2 the story
butthead:
"ok its my turn... wat were u comin 2 ask me?
at that point i changed my mind nd i really ddnt wna tell him that i was cutting, so i told him the only thing thing that i could think of that he would believe:
"i was comin 2 say that... i still have feelings 4 u"
butthead:
"ok well its ur turn"

then i was confused. its like, wat kind of guy hears that his ex STILL has feelings for him, nd has no reactioin at all?!?!? rolleyes
guys r so stupid.

but since then ive been thinking, nd im reeli dnt no wethr or not i still got feelings 4 him. its just so confusing nd i just dnt no anymore
nd its not just that, but ive been thinking,
should i tell him the truth? that i dnt have feelings 4 him nd that i was cutting? or should i just leave it as is? cuz from his reaction i dnt tink dat he has any feeling at all cept that he wnts 2 be freinds.
but u see idk if i still have feelings 4 him so if i tell him i was cutting... will he think that i dnt hv feelings 4 him? cuz rite now idk wat i wnt him 2 think about us nd idk wat i think about us either.
guys suk